Virginity....?

Question

This is greatly embarrassing to ask, but I have no one to turn to, and I know the magnitude of this question coming from a guy...

Ok, I just turned 20 years old about 3 weeks ago. I've never had great luck or skill with the female sex. Now, I tend to be sort of anti-social, but I do want to be in a lasting relationship. And because of this, I'm still...a virgin, and am too ashamed of it, especially when I think of my brothers. I don't want to end up being one of those "40-year-old virgins" or whatever. But I can't help who I am. I seek guidance, can anyone help me with this?

And if you're going to flame me or laugh at me on this, please just leave me alone.

Answer 1

Firstly, congratulations on your virginity. That is nothing to be ashamed of. More power to you, I say. Your problem is not that your a virgin, its lies with a lack of social skills.
You have to know that its hard for people to get to know you (and want to be with you) if you are anti-social - your words, you know. Why do you feel that way? Have you been hurt in the past? Are you shy? Worried how people might perceive you? Afraid of rejection?
Ask yourself - what am I interested in? What do I like? And where can I go to meet people who are into the same things I am? Like sports? - try joining a club. Like music or the arts? - try joining a class, or go to where the kind of music you like is played. Its easier to get talking to people when you know you have already something in common. You have to put yourself out there, to be available.
Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship, or for sex. Wait until you find someone your comfortable with, some one who likes you for who you are, and who you have real feelings for. That's worth more than a hurried "get my virginity over with" experience.
Good luck!

Answer 2

i'm not going to laugh at you. i could suggest a hooker, but that wouldn't help matters, and might give you something you don't want.

you are only 20 years old. how many virgin men do you think there are in their 20's? there are a lot. just because you don't get laid before you become an adult, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. someday soon a girl will come a long that will gladly help you lose your virginity. in the mean time, concentrate on the rest of your life. i have a feeling, theres a great person inside of you, and someday, your going to shine.

Answer 3

You know what, you will definately find a quality woman someday. Just hang on. You can choose to be embarrassed about this or embrace it. I married a guy who was a virgin, and let me tell you, I enjoyed teaching him the way I liked everything to be done. He had no preconceived notions of what he thought I might like or want. Also, exploit your interests. You mention you are "anti-social", likely you mean introverted. So when I say exploit your interests, I mean go meet girls doing something you like to do. If you are into gaming, check out World of Warcraft, it's online and there are like 3 million people you could meet there. Or maybe you like art, go to a gallery, take an art class. Believe me, if it weren't for politics, my husband and I would have likely never started talking. Common interests are a great way to meet and get to know someone else.

Answer 4

20 years old, you are still young!
I understand that you would feel awkward being 20 and a virgin since now a days we have 12 year olds having sex but that doesn't make it right. You should wait until you meet the right person, not necessarily 'the one' but someone who you admire, respect and love.
Now.. no one is gonna come knocking at your door asking your for a date and for your virginity so start going out and meeting new people... Go to Barnes & Nobles, starbucks, socials, heck go to the supermarket more often and you will eventually hit it off with someone. Good luck!

Answer 5

Stand proud in the fact that you aren't just out there sleeping your way around town! Don't feel ashamed that you aren't a player.
Us women generally appreciate a guy willing to wait for Ms. Right as opposed to messing up the bed with just any available body. Wait for the right woman and time. Trust me, this may seem like lame advise, but you will so enjoy the results when the time comes.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. In my opinion as a man sex means nothing unless there are emotions involved. Trust me little brother when I say this; when you just have sex for fun it is nothing in comparison to meaningful emotional intimacy. Don't worry abut rushing into sex but if you do choose to do it soon make sure that there is some type of emotional bond between the two of you and if you do have that bond I guarantee that your first time will truly be your best time.

Answer 7

There is no reason to be embarrassed about being 20 and a virgin. If you want a relationship you are going to have to get out there and find one it may mean getting hurt a few times or not but withdrawling yourself is not going to get you anywhere i now that it is hard to just put yourself out there but just remember that no matter what there is someone out there for everyone i truly believe that to be true but she is not just going to show up at your door. And a little self confidence goes a long way women can sense it.

Answer 8

Well, as far as I'm concerned you should be congratulated in that you haven't just gone out and 'made' it with someone for the sake of not wanting to be a virgin. You sound like an intelligent person who is aware of his own lack of confidence. Have you tried meeting people online through a dating site? Its a great way to find some great new friends and possibly a terrific girl. Its also easy to have a lengthy, intelligent conversation to get to know someone because you don't need to be concerned about all the superficial stuff that meeting someone entails. You get to decide when you're ready to meet. Give it a try! God bless!

Answer 9

You just need to be yourself when you're around girls.Trust me,one day you're going to find a girl, who's going to be everything you ever wished for. When i read what you had to say i immediately remembered my bf. He always tells me how nothing ever worked out before he met me. He was also 20, virgin, never had a gf and desperate to find someone to love, but he was always turned down. You know why? Because it was meant for us to be together, and maybe if he would've found someone earlier we would've never know what it truly means to love a person. I would never know what it truly means to love somebody the way i love him. And you know he also mentioned that he met me just when he least expected it, cuz he didnt believe it would ever happen for him b/c of the previous experiences. So hopefully from what i just told you, you can now understand that one day it will happen to you, and the right girl will come along.
By the way he was also very ashamed to tell me that he was still a vigin, but i found it really impressing and respected him for the fact that he wasn't willing to sleep with just anybody, and was waiting for the right person to share it with. And thats what matters the most.
Best wishes, and remember my words.

Answer 10

ok do u just want to have sex or something more than a one night stand? if something more than njust wait for the right time to come 20 is not 40 and trust me u won't be able to go without sex for another 20 yrs.
when it comes to 1 night stand make sure u know the person u're sleeping with there r so many diseases don't catch anything or u'll regret it for the rest o f ur life
Be very careful don't just sleep with anybody........