this weekend having a 4th b-day party for my son. also been dealing with heavy duty cancer and cancer treatments last 3 years. haven't seem my husbands family in last 3 years cuz it seemed they didn't care or were to busy to help, care or call me. to a point, my husband does need his family too i guess or he will go nuts. dealing with cancer is not easy. his family i feel are very immature and very vain with looks. when they see me after 3 years, they will be shocked how i look. the chemo and meds have made me gain alot of weight and i'm also bald. how can i deal with this when they come over for my son's b-day party. it will be my in-laws, his single sister and his other married sister with her husband and 2 kids which one is a teen now. i know i shouldn't feel and think this way but so nervous and embrassed what they will think of me, especially how i look.
2007-05-10 12:18:45 · 11 answers · asked by havingfun 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Put some make up on and have a big smile for them. You have cancer if they are embarrassed by what you look like then they are the one with the problem. Maybe, they just might not be the way you think. Give them a chance and see how it goes. Don't apologize for the weigh gain or loss of hair to them. Just be yourself and foremost be comfortable since this is your son's birthday party. If anyone is that vain that they would say anything about the way you look then you don't need them, plus I bet your beautiful and your just self conscious about it. Enjoy the day and be grateful your alive to see his 4th birthday.
2007-05-10 12:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they love you it shouldnt matter. You have an illness which requires you to take medicines to fight it. Adults understand this but kids dont. If it would make you feel better you can get wigs any color,length and you could wear one if it made you feel better there are alot of chemo patients who do. Instead of them worrying about how you look they should thank god you are here another day and hopefully you are in recovery. I cant imagine what your going through. If his family are disrespectful as to how you look then make them leave having family that is loving and supporting helps with the recovery. I wish you the best and hope you recover god bless.
2007-05-10 12:46:12 · answer #2 · answered by hotmoma1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To make them feel comfortable you have to be comfortable with yourself. I have met bald cancer patients and feel in love with their upbeat personality in the first 5 minutes. Just act like you are so happy to see them and tell them how good they look. Don't keep beating yourself up about your looks. Most people can not deal with cancer or anything else unpleasant. I bet they all feel very inadequate and feel you are very brave to fight this thing. Kudos to you and have a fun time with all the relatives.
2007-05-10 12:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Illness can show the weak spots in a family structure. Most families are ill-equipped to deal with anything big or chronic, healthwise. If they're only going to be there for a few days, I'd just prepare myself emotionally for a very uncomfortable time and look forward to it being over. Do NOT beat yourself up for dreading this contact, just be as nice as you can and don't put up with any crap.
2007-05-10 12:28:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing to be embarrased about. You had no control over getting cancer. For sure they will ask you what's up, so just let them know quickly what's been going on. No need to go into major details, make the best of the day and then you probably wont see them for another year.
2007-05-10 12:24:39 · answer #5 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I know something about this. My mother went through this a long time ago. She went bald. Had to deal with the family thing. Beleive me it will be fine. Dont worry to much about what they they think about your looks. If they are true family they will love you even more. If you want to talk more just email me... bigjake753@yahoo.com
Please dont worry all will work out fine
2007-05-10 12:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by Jake s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They sound like my husbands family. I had breast cancer and none of them showed the whole time. Go for your husband and if they even think anything negative the Lord will deal with them.
2007-05-10 12:24:05 · answer #7 · answered by dtwladyhawk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't worry about it..if they have any kind of compassion they will be understanding and gentle with you, it they lack compassion then screw them! what goes around comes around and they will get theres, no matter how gorgeous or well of they are! If they are jerks to you then act however you want with them! you don't deserve anyone being rude to you and much less so called family.
You probably won't have to deal with them again for another 3 years!
2007-05-10 12:25:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SORRY TO HEAR THIS, MY GRANDMA HAS LUNG CANCER I KINDA KNOW HOW U FEEL, SHE HAS 8 KIDS AND NONE OF THEM BUT MY MOM EVER HELPS HER AND ME AND MY COUSIN, ANYWAYS, WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK, JUST ACT NORMAL CUZ U R!!!!!!!!!! IF THEY STARE, JUST LOOK AT THEM AND SAY IS THERE ANYTHING U WANT TO KNOW? IF THEY SAY NO, JUST MOVE ABOUT UR DAY!!!!!!!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW U, AND U ARE BEAUTIFUL IN MY EYES!!!!!!!! JUST BE U!!!!!!!!! WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK OK!!!!!!!!!! EMAIL ME AN UPDATE OK!!!!!
2007-05-10 12:33:27 · answer #9 · answered by reba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, hold your head up high. you are married to him, not them. you are a stronger person than a lot of people and you deserve respect. if they cant show it, they know it - even if only deep down.
good luck to you and stay strong.
2007-05-10 18:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by sylverfae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋