My boyfriend and I can't seem to see eye to eye???

Question

My boyfriend of 7 years and I are having problems!!! We have 2 boys together 5/2 years and he like to get off work and go to his friends house!!! I also work a fultime job but when I get off of work I have to pick up the children, clean up after his dogs, cook dinner, and bathe the boys. He doesn't understand the work I have to do and how much easier it is if he helps! I have no problems with him being with his friends but he has to understand that I moved 1700 miles away from my friends and family to be with him so I have nobody but him and my children. am I being unfair? We have not spoken for two days because I have been so mad at him. How should I handle this???

Answer 1

Write down your concerns, in large print.

Be brief.

Be succinct,

Keep it in your own words. This is very important.



Find a suitable moment and tell him you need to discuss something very important.

Tell him this is a serious issue with you. Tell him also that you are very emotional about it and you don't want the emotions to flare and cause an argument or fight of any kind, so you wrote it all down for him to see clearly.

Try to do this in a relaxed manner and try to keep him in something like a relaxed state when you speak.

Then give it to him and sit down with him while he reads it .

Ask him to read all of it before saying anything.

Be sure he reads all of it before discussing anything, but you must stay there with him and be prepared to get the air cleared between you after he finishes.

Remember that the biggest thing in any relationship is maintaining communication at a level that you both can appreciate, and grow with.

Answer 2

You're not being unfair. He is. I can understand the moving away from friends and family. I did the same thing with my bf only opposite coasts. The fact that you have children and dogs, complicates matters more though and makes his behavior worse. It is very selfish of him to not take responsiblity as a domestic partner and father each night after work like you do. Relationships are a joint efffort.

You shouldn't not speak to him out of anger though. That isn't healthy. You should resolve the days conflicts and go to bed peacefully. Tell him how you feel and hopefully, he will try to accomodate you. He will probably respond better rather than to your anger.

Answer 3

Maybe you should start seeing toe-to-toe. But seriously your absolutely right he is being unfair specially when you left your friends and family for him. I believe your bf is taking you for granted knowing you have nobody to fall back on and he probably knows that you wouldn't dare pack and leave him so therefore (my opinion) he pretty much using you. I would pack up the kids and go visit the family for a few days and let your husband get (maybe) his priority together and let see how well he does with out you around to your wifey duties(I forgot your not his wife) just the girlfriend (big difference) Your bf needs a reality check real soon. Or do this dont do nothing around the house and let the house get real nasty. Maybe that would wake his a*s up.

Answer 4

If you can afford it, pack your bags and take a mini vacation without them. Let your boyfriend take care of the house and kids for 3-4 days so he can see the amount of work it really is. Or, if you can't afford it, only do the chores you have time for. Leave the dogs for him to deal with, leave dirty dishes in the sink and don't do his laundry. He should get the hint. Also, set aside a night or a couple hours during the week for yourself and let him know nobody is to interupt you. You need free time too!

Answer 5

I don't see any evidence that he has any reason towards any commitment. What is the last name of the children? You had sex with him without committment. Go home to your family so they can help you more than he will. It is obvious he has no interest in being a father. The children deserve more than that. It was not their choice to be born into this situation, it was yours!

Answer 6

Tell him how you feel and if he has anything about him he will be concerned for your well being talk,talk,talk.
dont sulk ive been married 25 yrs and we argue very rarely and we never ever sulk for days.
we say what we think and then its finished with and never take it to the bedroom its done why keep on about it
hope this helps

Answer 7

Work over time for a day....n come bak home at 10...n say it to him it is an emergency at work...

ask him to pick up kids, feed them, bathe them, prepare bed and make them to go sleep, feed the dogs, clean the dog, make food, clean dishes and then go to his friends place and he can surely spend whole night at friends place...n wudnt mind!!!

tht will serve him right


So coool down...alternative...

speak to him....explain him the problem!, start with asking him to do little things, ask ur kids to ask him to do little things for the kids...(e.g. ask kids to b stubborn n tell thier dad to bathe them)...slowely by small things...he will start helping in other way...sometimes help him doing his stuff too(dont forget to mention it to him tht i wud love to help u with ur work (if he does any)) lol....See when u shout of explain..they will feel u r always blabbing...there r alternative ways to do things...as coming home late and asking him to pick up kids n feed them..say hi u will do rest of the things when u get home after 10....ask kids to help out n ask thier dad to do stuff for them...simple!!!

Answer 8

tell him if he dont start helping you you will leave or tell him to take a hike if you cant get along you shouldnt make each other miserable everyone deserves to be happy

Answer 9

Tell him he has to do 50% of the chores then stop washing his clothes and stuff.

Answer 10

I'm a guy.
He NEEDS to UNDERSTAND that he has responsibilities now.