What would you do if your husband/wife was doing this?

Question

What would you do if your husband/wife was doing this?
I found out that my husband was opening profiles for sex dating sites in our area. He looks at porn about 20 times a day. The porn part is fine..i guess...but the fact hat he opened up a personal profile & put info about him and what he wanted in a woman for sex. Said married for a year & looking for a one time sex fling in my area.....it got in detail personally about him self. I want to leave him because of what hes done but hes leaving for a iraq fora year and i dont want to upset him while hes there because of the dangerous mission hes on. What should i do??
I am a great wife to him. i keep up with my body & looks and i try to satisfy him in every way....even if i didnt hes a prick. i asked him about it and he denies it...HELLO???

..and he told me if i leave him if something happens to him in iraq, itll be my fault.

Answer 1

Oh my goodness girl, you need to get out now!!!!

When I was with my ex he had various personal ads set up. You don't just take the time out to set one of those up unless you are looking!!! Especially since you said that he went into a lot of detail.

And that fact that he is saying if anything happens to him it would be because you left him....yeah.....pack your bags, because he just sent you on a guilt-trip!!!

I think that statement just shows that he is incredibly immature, and he doesn't deserve to have a good woman like yourself waiting for him to arrive home safely!

Good luck hun!

Answer 2

can you print out his profile on a sheet of paper or try to trace the money end of things on the credit card? Try to get some proof and look him in the eyes and ask him to deny it. HOWEVER, what were you doing on those sites that you found him? Did you suspect something was up, did someone you know tell you? Seems like you should just tell him that this year apart will be good for both of you so that you can both reflect on your marriage and what it means for each of you. You don't have to 'leave' him, he's going away anyway. The truth of the matter is whatever happens in the was has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. He's just trying to turn the tables and make you feel bad.

Answer 3

I have been to Iraq 3 times while I was in the Marine Corps me and wife reletionship took a toll with this deployements I have to say he is going to be under a lot of stress and in dangerous situation last thing he needs to be thinking about is problems at home. I suggest you try to work it out many people give up on marriages without willing to fight unless hes actually been with other woman I suggest working things out. But if you can't see past that situation end it know don't wait and have him thinking wheather you are with someone else while he is in Iraq that is also very distracting.

Answer 4

As you can see, the porn part is not fine...First they look, but soon looking is not enough, then they talk and then talking is not enough, then they cheat... Porn is not okay and as you can plainly see, it has led to his not being satisfied at home and now he wants to get what he is seeing on the Internet.

If you want to leave him, do it before he goes, not while he is gone and don't let him guilt you into thinking it would be your fault that something happened, you have no control over that and one has nothing to do with the other.

Answer 5

It would not be your fault he is trying to just make you feel bad so you stay. Who's to say that he has not already cheated. That is bad, that he is putting up profiles on sites for sex. I would not be able to handle that. Looking at porn is one thing and he was looking a lot but still that is different than doing the deed. I would say it would be better to leave. Either way it is your choice and what makes you happy.

Answer 6

There is a serious problem there. If it was me we would have a talk and I would show him that he is an idiot by looking up all of that information on the computer. I would probably ask him how he would feel if It were you looking for another man on line. In my eyes it is definitely cheating. There are women in iraq and there is computer access so I feel that if you cannot trust him in your own home, how will you trust him thousands of miles away. Of course his family is going to act like it is all your fault. But soon they will understand that you are a loving wife who tries to make her husband as happy as possible, but even through this he has the nerve to try to cheat on you online. If you stay with him, how will you ever trust him again? You deserve

Answer 7

O.K first off if something happens to him in Iraq, that has absolutely nothing to do with you leaving. Now that that's said...since you asked me what I'd do, I'd first sign him up for counseling and tell him what time and where to attend. I'd go with him to make sure he talks to someone. If that doesn't work and he still puts himself out there, then I'd set his stuff right "out there" with him! You didn't even have to mention you were a good wife, its the fact that he is married looking for a fling. I would then run, not walk, to the courthouse and file for the "freedom papers". Good luck on whatever approach you choose to use!

Answer 8

Here's the low down, If he has looked up porn so be it, If he has created a sex profile then he has probably cheated on you in the past and will again if the opportunity arrives. If he has strayed before he will stray again. By him putting a profile on the sitehe is looking for something elsewhere. It doesn't matter if he is going to war, many have! Bottom line is he's out looking for more than friends; he's looking for a bed mate and worst than that he is denieing it and doing it locally. This does affect you and your reputation.

Answer 9

I like the 1st answer you got.
My husband has been to Iraq twice. I would leave. He's, obviously, not trustworthy. How are you going to spend a year or more wandering what he's doing over there? (And for those of you that think that doesn't happen... believe me it does.) I'm not advising you to leave, I'm just saying I wouldn't be able to handle it and him making childish comments like that is STUPID. Do you have time for counseling before he goes??? I'm sorry this happened.

Answer 10

You need to get rid of the philandering jerk. It doesn't matter that he is going to Iraq soon. (I personally think that makes him more of a jerk, but that isn't what you asked.) The guy is going to impose the ultimate disrespect on you. He is actively soliciting sex with a stranger, and then what? Bring home herpes or something worse? Walk out and don't look back. The guy is a jerk and you deserve better than that.