is my wife wrong?

Question

I am a 37 year old male i've been married to my wife for 8 years,i've never cheated on her,but she did on me once.But for the past year i've had shoulder trouble,due from work and stress,i've been going to a massage therapist that seems to help.i hate taking pain pills,so i lean torwards natural healing if possible.but the therapist seems to be really nice and caring and has never said or done anything out of the way to me.but my wife is extemely jealous of this lady.once the therapist gave me a hour and a half massage and i only paid for 30min.She just seems like a concerned,and caring person.Am i missing somthing?Or is my wife just being crazy?My wife thinks she's got the hots for me,because she has gave me free massages before,i think she is just being really nice.

i did let her go with me to the therapist,i've even paid for her to get massages from her.it's been 6years ago since she cheated on me,i thought she would have forgiven herself by now.

Answer 1

A lot of people (wrongly) sexualize massage and physical therapy.

Maybe if your wife knew more about it, she wouldn't be so jealous.

On the other hand, maybe she would be jealous no matter what.

Try to explain to her that there's nothing sexual about it.

Just as a lot of people go to doctors that are the opposite sex.

It's the therapist's job.

Maybe couple's therapy would help.

Answer 2

When you go to the same person frequently-whether it be for hair, nails, massage, auto repair-to express gratitude for your repeated business they will often throw you a nice discount or freebie every now and again. I think it's great you're trying a natural path towards healing-pills can be ugly things, especially when you have to take them long term. Would your wife rather you become a neurotic, moody pill junkie? Honestly, I think it's just her guilty conscience-she knows she probably couldn't be trusted in that sort of situation, so she's projecting that onto you. If you really want to make things work, you may want to try switching to a male-though I know how hard it is to find a good massage therapist. I've been to several and only one has been worth the time and money. The best thing for you two may be some marriage counseling. She has guilt she needs to let go of, and I think it would help make your relationship stronger. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

You have been married for 8 years and you do not know your wife is always right yet? Seriously, there may be some flirtation there but try to assure your wife that it is harmless and you would not cheat on her (if that is true). It seems that those who cheat are always the most jealous, doesn't it? Talk it over with her and make her feel comfortable that you love her and want to be with her. Getting attention from someone else can actually make your relationship stronger by making you feel more desirable. Use her jealousy to your advantage a little (don't go too far) and spice up your relationship. She will appreciate the attention that you give her and get over her jealousy.

Answer 4

My last wife was like that. If I looked at the waitress when ordering at a restaurant I was wanting to get in her pants, If a woman walked in front of the car at a stop light and I looked at her for a brief moment I wanted to get in her pants, If I talked to any of her female cousins at a family gathering with everyone else around I wanted to get in her pants! I don't care what the situation was I was told I was a cheater and a liar. In nearly 16 years of marriage I never cheated on her but must admit that after she told me she would take her job over me any day I did try but without success.
We are divorced now, thank goodness. She was not only extremely jealous I think she was a little in need of professional help. It took me over a year and a half to figure out how mentally abused I was...Take it from me....you need to have a good talk, no arguments, with her or get away from her...you will suffer in the long run if you don't.

Answer 5

Women use their intuition and go bananas. Although you can ease the situation by going with another therapist (such as a man or a woman that won't be a concern to your wife), it is your decision and choice. At the end of the day, you can stick to your principle and integrity because you haven't done anything wrong, or find a position of less tension.

Answer 6

Dear Sir,
Your wife's' jealousy and your therapist intentions are not necessarily related. As a service provider it is in the best interest of your therapist to allow for incentives because you will continue to patronize her. (just good business sense)
In reference to your wife...She may be projecting her insecurities onto your therapist because at this time she is an easy target. Your wife's insecurities began well before you started therapy. Your wife may also be feeling a little jealous and fearful that she may lose you. It is also possible that she may not have forgiven herself for her indiscretions toward you so again she could be projecting the guilt that she feels onto you. No your wife is not crazy, just mislead.

I wish you Light & Love

Mischa McPherson

Answer 7

Well, me thinks yoru wife protesteth too much and I think as far as the massage therapist, maybe you're not seeing the forest for the trees. Very unusual for any professional to give freebie sessions and I would certainly be questioning it. Also, clearly some insecurity is coming into play and it would be helpful for you both to seek some professional counseling.

Answer 8

Poor guys just aren't devious enough to pull back all the layers and find out what is really going on. Your wife is setting you up dude. She's gonna go on and on about you cheating, even though she knows your arent. Why you ask? BECAUSE...this way she can cheat again and if she gets caught, she can blame it on you and the massage gal. She's creating a built in excuse to cheat on you again.

Answer 9

The massage Lady seems real Nice,But that's how it begins by being way to nice.Make sure your Wife Knows that you have No feeling for her.But if this Bothers her this much get another therapist.Think of your Wife 1st ,Hope you feel better soon.

Answer 10

I don't think you are doing anything wrong, but women have the tendacy to be really jealous (or at least I do) so I can understand her jealousy...maybe you should let your wife go with you one time if possible...that should help her to understand that the therapist is just trying to help...