why am i so judgemental? all the timE!?

Question

i seem to always judge people and make a comment about it around my close group of freinds, or my girlfriend. i dont like it, how do i change it? i always have to make a comment about someone sitting next to us, crossing the street, in front of us, behind us, someone that we mututally know, someone that walks in... i dont like it, i know its bad, and how do i stop?? i alwasy point out the flaws in people, or the annoying things they do, or things i dont like about them.i hate that, im in no position to judge people. so how do i stop?

Answer 1

I agree with Beatle... with the addition of this - this kind of judgmental behavior almost always means you feel badly about yourself. That's why you feel the need to see others as inferior. You might consider some therapy to improve your self-esteem, since this would get rid of your need to judge.

Answer 2

It's a habit that you learned when you were young, you probably heard that sort of stuff growing up yourself. Everybody "judges" others once in awhile, but if that is a constant thing for you, it's a negative loop, and drives people away from you, whatever your motivation is. Look for something nice you can say about someone, no matter how small it might be. You already know that it isn't working for you to think about others you don't even know that way, knowing you have a problem is half the battle. So the next time you see someone walk in, and want to say something negative about them, try to keep it in the front of your mind that you are trying to change that, take a deep breath, keep silent, or better yet, look for something nice that you can say about this person. If you can manage to do that daily, and take it easy about "judging" yourself when you slip, then it will become a positive habit that will affect and strengthen your entire outlook. Good luck....

Answer 3

Try stopping. Thinking about what you are going to say prior to saying it. Also you might think about how you'd feel if you were that person. You might start with yourself. We all are different. We have different circumstances in our lives. I can tell you, sometimes I do things, dress weird whatever, to see if I'm going to be judged by someone. If I am. I tend to stay away from them. I don't need that in my life. Have you ever thought maybe the people you are talking to judge you because of all of this. They probably wonder what you're saying about them.

Answer 4

I noticed this same trait in myself to some degree. A few months ago I made a determination to only say something as if the person I were speaking about was standing right there looking directly at me. Suddenly, I found I was speaking less judgmentally about people.

Worked for me.
See if that works for you!

Answer 5

Easy try by looking at something ,like if you don't like there voice my be you like their smile or you see someone doing something you don't like, look up at the sky and try thinking of how pretty the day is.Its about changing the native to positive it may take time but you will get it soon.

Answer 6

You are already doing good. At least you are honest. That is first step! just try to keep quiet at times and then you will feel not so judgemental.

Answer 7

You must be religious. Judging others seems to be what religion is all about.

Answer 8

I know, I do it all the time and I really do feel awful about it.....!
I think it comes from an insecurity in yourself or something like that...?!

Answer 9

It['s OK to be judgemental. :Your only problem is keeping your mouth shut.

Answer 10

i am too, but i try to keep it to myself.