Did he stay because I was pregnant?

Question

When I was pregnant with our son in December 2005, i caught my husband in a locked bedroom with his ex at his brothers house. When I told him "lets go right now" he hesitated, pacing back and forth for an hour and walking outside until he was ready to go. Also after I had our baby, almost immediately he avoided me for 2 months and his ex started showing up at his cousins house(where he lived before we got married) "visiting his cousins wife" and "bringing the kids to see him" all of a sudden, sometimes even when my husband wasn't there. Do you think he really wanted to be with her and just stayed with me because I was pregnant?

Answer 1

Hes probably cheating.

Answer 2

Its hard to tell, but ask yourself if you feel like he is FULLY in the relationship with you NOW.
I went through something similar, my girlfriend got pregnant, but I broke up with her before we found out, I was fed up with alot of her ways and just wanted to be alone. We stayed broken up the entire time that she was pregnant and didn't really start reconciling until my daughter was born.
I knew that my girlfriend had the issues that I broke up with her for but when she had our daughter she became a much stronger person to me, I began to admire her. I'm not going to lie and say that the fact that we have a child together doesn't play into us being together but it is small.
I don't feel like you should be with or marry someone simply because there is a child, if you do that it will only make everything for everyone worse. It took us about 6+ months to actually become a "couple" again but that's because we both wanted to work at it first.
Maybe he felt the same way that I did, maybe seeing you with that child, and the positive changes that you went through helped him to respect, love, and care for you more after you had the baby.

Answer 3

You really have to get to the bottom of this. If he do not love you than you have a problem. You need to have a serious and frank discussion with your husband. I went through the same thing with my husband. He was on the rebound when him and his girlfriend broke up. When I met him, I didn't know he had a girlfriend and had been engaged. We started a whirlwind love affair. I was 17 and he was 22. About three months after we met, I noticed that he stopped calling me and coming around. I would go to his house and he wouldn't be there. I seen him and told him I was pregnant he said it wasn't his and that he was engaged to marry. I backed off but after my baby was born I filed nonsupport against him and he was forced to sumitt to a blood test. The test confirmed the baby was his 6 weeks later. His fiance stood by his side the whole time until the results came back. But she couldn't accept the fact that he cheated and had a child during the time they separated. I was a little taken aback because he had not been there for me during my whole pregnancy. He started seeing his daughter and eventually asked me to try to make things work out for the sake of our child. I did try but immediately realized he stilled love his ex. By the time our daughter was 8 months old I was pregnant again with our second child and he was seeing her again behind my back. This time I backed away completly and told him if he loved her than he had a right to pursue it. Even though I was pregnant I told him to go. He promised to be there for our kid and be there when the baby was born. My daughter went into the hospital for pneumonia and he was spending alot of time with me and the ex didn't like it. Later I gave birth and our son was born with a bacterial infection, again he was spending alot of time at the hospital. She told him the stress of his kid was too much for her and she left him. He was heart broken. We eventually started up again, but I felt like I was being a replacement for her. We married and I felt like he still loved her. One day I asked him after she had married someone else. I said you love her don't you and wished she was your wife. He said I did. But, I love the mother of my children, now. That meant more to me than anything. He said when I let him go when I was pregnant and needed him most was a sign of my sacrifice for his happieness. And that his ex only thought of her feelings and not his. So if he is still hung up let him go. And if it is meant to be he'll be back.

Answer 4

Have you ever asked him? Sounds like it's not the best relationship, particularly to raise a child in. Trust is the foundation to any relationship and without it the relationship will be rocky. Him avoiding you after your child was born sounds like guilt or something. That's when couples should be the closest. I'd consider getting out before your child gets much older.

Answer 5

I'm afraid to say so- but yes. When he hesitated to leave when he got caught with her and for a whole hour, you should have left his a** right there and just took care of your baby- you don't need to put up with that, and by you taking him back after that - he will continue to cheat.

Answer 6

Guys will cheat on you if you are pregnant or not.

I think some girls think that cause a guys wife looks all chubby and pregnant that are not getting any sex. So the girl thinks its ok to fill his need.

If your husband is a real smooth operator,,,, he has probably cheated on you before.

i would go up to him and warn him, cause I don't hink you want break it off. Just tell him, "don't let me find out you're cheating on me and your baby!"

Tell him, you need to help me with the baby.... then call him from time to time to check up on him....

Some guys are dogs and sometimes need a kick in the *** to get them in line.... be firm and straighten him out!

Answer 7

Pull him aside and ask him.
People don't have to stay together just because of a child.
If you are not happy with that person it will make matters worse.
Find out what you really want from this relationship.
If you cought them in the bathroom.
You have to ask yourself "what were they doing in there and is he cheating on you"?
You should not have to go through that.

Thats all I have to say about that.


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Answer 8

Only he can answer this question. Did you ask him flat out why he was in a locked bedroom with his ex? If they have kids together they need to stay in contact unfortunately, but if they don't have kids together I think you should tell him it upsets you that he's in touch with his ex and he needs to stop.

Answer 9

You caught your husband in a locked room with his ex? You still want to be with him? You deserve someone that can stay faithful. Move on.

Answer 10

No, I think he was gone before the baby........you can do much better.......let his ex have him, if that's what he wants.......if you hold on to something that's not good for you, it takes up space for something good to come in. I hate divorce but if you are not willing to except him cheating, I say move on.