is this a common depressed feeling for married guys in their early 30's? it gets harder and harder to keep the

Question

weight off. a few pounds heavier than in my single days. harder to keep the hair away from the places i don't want it and harder to keep it where i want it, my energy level isn't what it used to be.
health problems start to slowly creep up on you ex. high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc. etc.
although you love your kids, the stress of raising them wears on you. the stress of your job wears on you as well. the feeling of being less attractive than you used to be as a result of the factors i mentioned above is multiplied by the fact that your wife seems less and less interested in sex with you the longer you are married, to the point where you stop asking for it because you figure "why ruin the night with more rejection?"

are these pretty normal feelings that guys experience as they begin to approach the middle age years?

Answer 1

Not from my experience. However, all of the above are symptoms of being out of shape. Working out fights depression and health issues, raises your energy level and confidence, and can get a wife more interested if ya get beefy.

Answer 2

Ha.... if you are still single when you hit 40 it is ten times worse. If you have decent job, a good guy, comfortable with who you are and all of that.... you can stand in a room and women look at you like you are a tasty pork chop. I am early 40s and married now by the way. We have all have had your same experience. Gone on a date and this all comes up right away. Here is the thing though. Women feel you out to see how you feel about life and more so your maturity level. They have reached a point where they are considering the future so they don't want to waste time with a guy who is not thinking about this sort of thing. So I do understand the thinking even though it might not be presented right. Yes the biological clock is ticking to the point where you can almost hear it. But it is way more complicated than that. They want to know if you are a good bet or if you just want to keep playing and still be the same years from now. Plus they know (as I do) that being married takes fun to a whole new level. What they are doing is wondering if you have the depth to make that mental leap.It is hard to explain and I hope I did so at least a bit. Just carry on doing what ever you are doing. You will eventually meet that women who will make you want to get married and have kids. Then one day you will wake up and look around and go "darn, I have kids, a wife, responsibility and how the flip did this happen"? But then you realize you would trade this for the world.

Answer 3

YES - and if you are not careful to recognize it's a phase that can be corrected - you'll end up divorced, fighting and having joint custody with limited visitation and child support payments cutting into you income that barely sustains you because you lost your good paying job die to stress! Now that you know what could happen to you - I am sure that's not what you want! SO here's what you do:
1) Start making time to reintroduce yourself to your wife - little smooches here & there & maybe a dinner date night! 2) Have a serious talk with your boss about your current work situation & ask and/or make reccomendations on how this could be improved - be careful not to make demands. 3) Look at your life around you - is it what you wanted? If yes - then appreciate it by going to church and thanking the good Lord above for giving you the strength to have it - if not, take your butt to church and pray for the strength to get it. Do not let the mid life crisis battle consume you - things could definatley be so much worse!

Answer 4

Early 30s is not middle age yet, mid 40s is.

And yes, you gain weight and lose hair, needs warm up time for any sports, and all the running around for the kids. The stress all adds up to decreased interests in sex and stuff.

Certain things you can control. Start watching your diet and exercising now as part of the daily routine -- many people drag it on till it is too late. Your genetic makeup will contribute to blood pressure and health issues.

But all parents went through the same things. It takes mental strength to remind yourself that you have commitments to the family -- particularly the kids-- that you carry on. And just a reminder, you might no longer look young but no man looks taller and manly when he reaches down for his kids as a father.

It's easy to have your mind wander to the LaLa land about affairs and "happiness" due to boredom. These are distractions and landmines.

Answer 5

Yes, it's called a mid-life crisis, also, in marriage, as Marilyn Monroe suggested, it's the 7-year itch. After a certain length of time we do get restless. But if we work through it, there are terrific benefits at the end.

Answer 6

Oh, yes it is normal, my husband is 35 and he is going through the same thing. Does your wife know you are feeling this way? The two of you should make more plans to do fun things, with and without the kids. Reconnect and gain a little of your youth back with some fun. Best Wishes!

Answer 7

gees wait until you hit 40 that is when you really start to fall apart. Get some depression medication

Answer 8

This happends to women too. Try getting into a grooming/diet/excersize routine. You will look better and feel better. You dont need to be female to pamper yourself

Answer 9

i would say you are right on. We get to a point that's it's almost time to put us out to pasture.

Answer 10

My husband of seven years is going through the same thing. I encourage you to please get counseling and don't throw your family away. John, is this you? Please talk to a counselor right away. Everyone has given you very good advice.