Ok we are seperated, he hasn't talked to me in 2 days..Told me he would talk and see me this weekend. Well I tried to call his phone and its out of minutes ( pre-paid) well he wasn't talking to me, so now I'm worried he is talking to someone else. I'm also pregnant with his child and I have asked if I could move back home..He says yes then turns around the next day and says he doesn't think its a good idea.. People have told me to not talk to him for a while and he will start to worry about what I'm doing and call me, but he told me that since we have been apart that he has drifted..so not talking to him might make him drift more..And advice?
2007-05-10 05:46:44 · 26 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm afraid that you are clinging on to something that isn't there. You cannot force communication for a healthy relationship if he is not in it to win it. Sounds to me like he is full of excuses and not the right man for you.
Everybody always says that you owe it your children to make a relationship work. But working on a relationship never works if only one party is committed to the process. Cut your losses and pat yourself on the back for not wasting any more of your life with a man that doesn't adore you.
2007-05-10 05:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by stuckwithit 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you and your husband have some serious marriage issues, most likely beginning before the pregnancy and separation. Talk with a counselor and a good divorce attorney. A number of states won't grant a divorce if you are pregnant, and will frown on his behavior. Some states require that he provide for you during your pregnancy. If he won't go to marriage counseling, go by yourself. If you don't have health insurance, check with your state's health and human services. A baby is not a sufficient reason to stay in a poor relationship. Pressuring your husband will not change this. From the sound of things, chances are he has moved on to another relationship. If this is so, you and the baby are better off without him. Get your life in order for your and your child's sake.
2007-05-10 13:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by Darke Angel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lady you are what is more comonly refered to as DEPENDANT, DESPERATE & NEEDY. Let me assure you that you DO NOT need to be this way. OK - your married, but you probably married young and now the stress's of life, money, work and a child on the way have taken their tolls. Whether you want this man back into your life or not - you must make changes within & for yourself FIRST! What is it that you "need" him for - if the real answer is nothing - which 9 times out of 10 it is - then stop calling him at all - he obviously has no concern for you & his child right now. THat may change - but YOU must start preparing for the worst & getting yourslef into a situation where you can take care of your child on your own. If that man comes back to you & your child, make sure that this time around is different & force him to prove by actions and not words - take your time and insist on respect, trust, honesty & communication - ALWAYS!
2007-05-10 13:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by martiek7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he stated his feelings. You trying to talk to him is only going to exacerbate the situation. I stand behind my original sugestion of concentrating on your own needs and the needs of your baby. Go to LaMas or whatever alone. This is pathetic that he is doing this to a pregnant woman. Someone who is at the most fragile stage of living. And this smuck says he's "drifted away". Pathetic. You can't make him feel anything. He has to be the one to get the balls to try to make things work. Don't appear too needy or you will only reap heartache later on. So you state that you moved out? Are you staying w/ family or friends. Get one of them to take you to LaMas and help you. Hey I'd be frustrated too. I understand your feelings. You just need to relax and take care of your number one priority now which is your baby. Do let the guy string you along. Don't take the be nice, one minute and not nice the next behavior. He needs to decide if he wants to be married or not, not you. So relax and go slow. Try getting this book
"Getting Back Together: How To Reconcile With Your Partner - And Make It Last" by Bettie B. Youngs, Masa, Ph.D. Goetz, and Suzy Farbman (Paperback - Mar 2006)
Reading could take your mind off things. I don't know but you could try it. Take Care.
2007-05-10 13:11:24 · answer #4 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did you leave your home? HE should have left, not you, since you are the one having a baby. I'd be going back home while he's at work and having the locks changed so HE has to go find another place, myself. What a jerk to let his pregnant wife go out there on her own! Frankly, I'd move home and then I'd tell him he's out until he can come home and act like a mature man who is about to become someone's FATHER. You two need to get counseling, but if he won't go, go by yourself. Single parenting is really hard.
2007-05-10 12:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop begging! Nothing will make him want you less than to see that you just need him more than anything. Show him how independent you can be, and make him see that you don't NEED him in your life but that you WANT him in your life. If he knows you need him and are desperate, it will only show him that there is nothing he could do to make you leave. Leave him alone and let him "drift". Use this time to take care of you and your baby....you will love that child more than you will ever love any other human.
2007-05-10 12:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a baby coming, are separated, and he isn't concerned about you? I'd be through with him. Maybe he is "drifting" from you, but any man who isn't concerned about the welfare of his unborn child is NOT A REAL MAN! You don't need him and neither does your baby. Chances are, he's out living the single life. Move on and take care of your responsibilities-there are plenty of real men out there who will love you without you hunting them down.
2007-05-10 12:52:40 · answer #7 · answered by Katie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think they are right... if you are avoiding him and he loves you he will wonder what you are doing. Stop chasing him and let him chase you. I know it is easier said then done, but try to keep busy and make plans with the girls.... A wise women once told me if the same song & dance isn't working change the son or the dance.... it is the only way to change the pattern of behavior.
2007-05-10 12:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by JC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Worry more about the baby you are about to have then worring what he is doing. I think he is just trying to make you jealous but if not and he has found someone eles then he needs a swift kick in the *** because you dont leave your married and pregnant wife for some booty call. I would not call him and let him call you show him what it feels like
2007-05-10 12:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by weeping_spirit 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The simple answer? The handwriting is on the wall baby. If he wanted to come home, he'd be calling and asking to work things out. As it stands...it appears he's making his bed elsewhere and with someone else.
Move on.....it isn't worth pursuing.
2007-05-10 12:52:28 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋