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Everytime my mother goes to shower, he comes out, grabs the phone, dials a number, speaks in light tone and then erases the number. This has occured for the past year. Plus, I have learned from outside resources that he is speaking to someone else. He has been great to me but lately I just can't stand him. I ignore him and can't tell my mom what is happening because it will devastate her. Any suggestions please? I would greatly appreciate it.

2007-05-10 04:44:50 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

22 answers

don't say anything unless you can prove it

2007-05-10 05:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by Dawn-Marie 5 · 0 0

Unfortunately, people are going to disapoint us from time to time. You can't 'fix' him or change his actions. However you can take steps to protect yourself and your mom. I'm afraid that if you confront him, he will deny any wrong doing and just find another way to be sneaky. Do your homework; redial the number if you can, write it down and do a white pages search with a reverse phone number...find out who he's talking to. It may be something totally harmless. However, if it turns out to be something totally immoral, you can chose to confront him about it without putting him on the defensive. Say something like, 'I noticed you were speaking in hushed tones. Are you planning a suprise for mom?' See how he reacts. If you're sure he's up to no good, you need to tell your mom and then let it go.

Personally speaking, I found my stepdad in a bar with a blonde on his lap. I told my mom. It upset her, but she chose not to do anything about it at the time (it took her 5 more years to divorce him). After that, I just kept my mouth shut...obviously she knew something was going on and chose to do nothing,so me adding fule to the fire just made her feel bad about her inability (at the time) to take action.

Be careful, and good luck

2007-05-10 12:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Yeah. You can find out right away who he's talking to by listening in on the other line, that way you know what you can tell you mom.

Or you can stomp up to your dad when he's on the phone and ask who's on the other line because you need to use the phone and hes been on too long.

If he says its your family, tell him you want to say hi to them and try to grab the phone. If he seems all supicious about your actions, then something is going on.

2007-05-10 11:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I would ask him who he's speaking to. Innocently but with penetrating eyes.

Let on that you are suspicious and ALWAYS hang around when these calls occur. The least he could do was take it out of the home. He's putting you in a VERY bad position.

2007-05-10 12:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 0 0

It is definitely your business because you care about your mother. Anyone doing anything to hurt my mother, I would make my business. First I would talk to the stepdad about it, just casually ask who he's talking to, just let him know that you see what he's doing, without accusing him of anything, until you have proof. Just casually ask him when your mom get's out of the shower, who he called while she was in there, but make sure he knows you saw him on the phone. Then if he says "no one", you know something's up.

2007-05-10 11:58:12 · answer #5 · answered by R 1 · 1 0

This is a tough situation but you have to stay out of it. This is between your mom and step dad. If you really feel the need for her to find out try to set something up so that she catches him making the calls or find some kind of evidence.

2007-05-10 11:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 1 0

Tell her or if you dont want to then set him up..act like you have no idea and find someway to let her find out. Like accidently dial re-dial on the phone in front of him or your mom and then ask who you are speaking to.

2007-05-10 11:54:30 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal F 2 · 1 0

I bet your mom has her own suspicions talk to her and you guys set him up next time have her fake getting in to the shower and catch him on the phone or she can have a voice activated recording device put on the phone line then it will either prove or disprove his infidelity.

2007-05-10 12:41:51 · answer #8 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0 0

I would suggest talking to your Mom, it might upset her, but if anything actually is going on imagine how much more devestated she'll be to find out from someone else. Maybe invite her out for a coffee or lunch and talk to her about your suspicions...It might be nothing, but she'll know your only telling her out of concern for her..Good Luck..

2007-05-10 11:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 1 0

I would tell her she is your mom and i know you dont want to hurt her but you arent he is. Im a 34 year old woman and if my husband was cheating i would want to know. I know this could hurt her emotionally but it could hurt her in other ways as well. He could bring std's home to her or even worse hiv. The emotional scars will heal but the other things may not, so i would tell her she has a right to know.

2007-05-10 12:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by bigmommanova 3 · 0 0

Well this is tough, part of me wants to tell you to stay out of it, but then the other part says to tell her.

It’s your mom and you want to protect her and that’s what matters most.

I would probably at least talk to my mom and see where her head/heart is at.

Just remember only you have to deal with the results of your action

2007-05-10 11:57:24 · answer #11 · answered by always_sweet_b 2 · 0 0

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