My mom's boyfreind is Christian, I'm Pagan, what should I do?

Question

My mom met this guy through a friend. He's Christian and I don't have anything against any religion. My mom and him are dating. I don't think he knows that I'm Pagan. My mom knows though. My question is, should I tell him? Should I keep it to myself? What should I do now that she and him are getting close, almost to the point where he wants us to move in. She's known him for a few years now, and has been dating him for 3 years...He's a cool guy! He's weird too. Not in a bad way...but not in a good way either. He talks about witchcraft all the time. He also told us that he ex girlfriend practiced witchcraft...Could he have? I'm so confussed about him! I know some of these cant get answered, but thanks for trying though!

~Josh~

Answer 1

Maybe you could introduce him in steps. Like, "oh I thought about Christianity but it just didn't work for me." Then, "yeah I just feel more connected to religions that have a female representation."
I really think you should let him know before you move in, especially with him talking about it so much- maybe through your mother? You don't want him to find out the hard way (especially if he's really superstitious) and then decide that you are a liar. I would like to say that I would flat out approach him, ask to have a serious talk, and say, "look, I am pagan. If you don't like that, I think its probably better that you and my mother don't live together until I graduate." When dealing with parents, being "the better person" will ALWAYS get you the upper hand. ;)
That said, its your mother's job to protect you from potential threats. You should talk to her, and decide together whether you should combine households. I imagine if this issue is unresolved, there are probably some other things needing some communication.
I have to say, personally, as a mom, I just don't feel good about your post though. From what you described, my instincts scream at me to protect you from this guy- and there is something to be said for motherly instincts, they rarely fail me! I hope that helps, please contact me if you think I can help you further. : )

Answer 2

Keep it to yourself for now, and just concentrate on getting to know him better. There is such a thing as a "Pagan friendly" Christian, I am blessed to know some. You say that he is a cool guy, well, that's good. That his ex-girlfriend practiced Witchcraft would seem to me also to be a positive indication that he is open minded about his faith. Just take the time to get to know him for now, and go from there. If your mom knows that you are Pagan, it's possible she may have even already mentioned it to him herself, but if he doesn't ask you directly, just leave it alone for now, maybe instead you can ask your mom some questions (conversationally) about what she thinks of him, and what he is like, and get a better sense of him that way too.... (Technically, what religion you celebrate is really none of his business, even if he might become your stepfather some day, and you sound like you are just about old enough to go out on your own and make your own decisions any way. What is really more important, is things like how does he treat your mom, how does he treat other people, and how does he treat you, in general terms. If he treats everyone well, and especially your mom, and you, well, leave it at that for now, unless you make it a point to announce you're Pagan to everyone you know for some reason..)

Answer 3

Hi, Josh,

A lot depends on how you define yourself. Is being pagan a major part of your identity? Can you keep your beliefs to yourself without a struggle, or do you feel the need to announce your beliefs to everyone you know? More to the point, what is your mom's boyfriend's attitude to his religion? Is he modest and laid back or is he a hellfire and damnation missionary? What is his opinion of witchcraft? Does he criticise his ex because of it? This will give you some idea of how tolerant he is of other people's opinions. If you are both the reserved type, you probably don't even need to mention it; if you are both very involved in your religious groups, you might see sparks fly sooner or later anyway. In this case my course would be to keep your cool if you can - it would be unfair to your mom to cause friction in her relationship.

You don't mention your age. I was wondering if you need to move in with him along with your mom or if you're old enough to get a place of your own.

Hope this helps you think it through.

All the best,
Caroline

Answer 4

You should do nothing. Until the subject of religion is brought up, there is no reason to tell him anything. Since he has brought up witchcraft, it is possible that your mom has mentioned it. He will eventually ask questions - at that point, answer honestly. This is your chance to teach the ignorant (I don't mean stupid, I mean uneducated regarding different religions - like the fact that pagans DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE DEVIL) about paganism and your beliefs.

Answer 5

I'm have a feeling he knows you Pagan that's why he keeps on bringing up the Witchcraft thing.Probably to get you to admit that you are Pagan and then try and convert you.Just don't say anything.Just be normal.If he comes right out and ask you then you can admit to it.Its your believes and no one is allowed to pressure you into something else.If he is nice, I am Happy for you and your mom. Some people say they are Christian and mean it like ...i like spaghetti but it doesn't mean I make it...(understand)so in other words they say they Christians but doesn't necessarily practise and participate in Christianity.

Answer 6

there is no reason for you to keep your religion from this guy, if he is not understanding about it then you should sit your mom down and talk to her about his non-acceptance of you and your choice of religion and that you don't want there to be confrontations in the future over your religion. and as far as him practicing witchcraft.....well all you can do is ask him....you really don't want yuor mom invovled with someone she believes she knows but really doesn't because if he lies now then she will only get hurt later on and you need to keep your mom real close now and find out what he is up to. good luck

Answer 7

There's nothing wrong with opening up a duologue and expressing your beliefs. In fact debating or even sharing each others beliefs could build a bridge of trust. Christian's know that we can't convert those who don't want to be converted because this takes an act of the Holy Spirit to convict ones heart.

Also not everyone who claims to be a Christian follows God's word. So if your mom's bf is considering moving in he should ask your mom to marry him. And talking about witchcraft that doesn't sound like something that's uplifting it sounds rather demonic.

Answer 8

ummm......if he talks about his girlfriends witch craft in a bad way, then he will probably have narrow-minded view of pagans. If he talks about it all the time, that means he's hooked up on that issue.

It doesn't look like a good sign to me. If he does move in, try gauging (don't know how spell) whether or not he minds pagans, but if he ends up being those irrate, narrow-minded, all will burn guys, then you might be in for a rough time. If such is case, don't let him dominate and get to you.

If he is unreadable like you have described, it might be a sign of instability. I'd be very cautious.

GO PAGANS

Answer 9

christians and pagans tend to be a bad mix because pagans are passive we believe live and let live in other words we will respect other peoples religion if they respect ours. christians often believe that pagans are evil,because they believe in the devil we don't. so the best thing to get along would be to simply state there should be mutal respect, if he doesnt you may have to do a harmony spell to settle things.

Answer 10

Get to know him.

You're a pagan because you?

There's no such thing as being a
Pagan Christian.
A Christian would not be accepting of
being a Pagan because God wants us
to believe and Worship Him only.
God has what we need, all we have to do is
ask in Jesus name.