how should the bills be divided?

Question

I moved in with my gf, who has three kids that arent mine. Should I pay 50% of everything, rent, food, utilities, etc, or should I get a break, and if so how much would be fair? She gets child support and food stamps and tanf, and the rent goes to her mother, who hates me. Im more than happy to pay a quarter, since i do live there and use her things, but I dont see paying half, especially since she will see much of that back again one way or the other.

Answer 1

i would pay like 30%. sucks even more her mother hates you. and kids will eat most of the food. explain to her how you feel. if she loves you she will understand. plus she get child support. she should have extra money. hope everything works out

Answer 2

I think a good solution would be to offer to pay half of rent and utilities, and she should buy food and household supplies (laundry soap, shampoo, TP, etc.), since you will use only a small portion of that.

Unless, of course, your percentage of income is significantly higher than, or vice versa, which I doubt is the case since she receives food stamps.

Children should not be factored in to rent and utilities. They can't work to "chip in." Who the rent goes to is irrelevant.

I also want to add: Don't start breaking things down into percentages, that is too petty and bound to lead to fights and bickering. Next thing you know, you'll be discussing who eats and showers the most. Decide on a flat fee based on 50/50 of certain above mentioned expenses, and then you'll never have to discuss it again.

Answer 3

Well, if you stay with her and the kids (married) then you will in the end be paying more then half. Really you should help pay for whatever needs to be paid. Bills are joint not to be seperated and her debt is your debt and your debt is her debt. When you start seperating things you become seperated in the end and money is a very touchy subject in a relationship unless you have alot of it. It doesn't matter what she gets, she has to take care of the kids and the whole mom thing..... maybe if you did pay more and help more with the kids she might accept you more(maybe). Then consider how much you would be paying if your where out on your own and had to pay it all by yourself.

Answer 4

I have 2 kids of my own and a daughter with my spouse and finances were things we talked about A LOT! We read an article that of course each of you should have your own savings account or checking account. Get an account that is specifically for bills, the rule of thumb is, is that whoever makes more money is to put in 25% more and the person making less puts in 25% less.

My honey and I came to an agreement that since we both support my children that the child support is to deposit automatically into our checking and is to be used toward our bills and food. Then we added up what would be left over from our bills and did a calculation that shows what his income pulls in and what mine pulls in and it turned out to be a 56% to a 44% split. We also put in 5% of our check into our retirement/emergency savings account and the rest we get to do whatever we want with.

I've been the one to write out the checks for all our bills and I make sure to tell him what is being paid and how much it is, just to give him that ease that things are being taken care. Haven't had a fight since and hasn't been stressful at all.

Answer 5

Yes, you should pay half. If you're in a relationship with a woman who has kids and decide to take things to the next level (moving in together), you have to take those kids as your own and help pay for them. You're not a tenant - you're her partner and a father figure to those kids.

Pay half *after* she gets the money from child support, etc. But, as others have said, be careful here as now that there's a father figure living there, she will likely lose most/all of her support.

Answer 6

If this is truly a problem already then perhaps moving in together was a bit premature. If this is a huge issue then I would get a small studio apartment, pay your own bills and when you visit your girlfriend bring the food you plan to cook for dinner or what ever meal you plan on sharing.

If her mother does not like you I would wonder why?

Answer 7

Pay half. As a couple living together you should be splitting everything equally. As for the claim about them not being your kids, well, you should have thoughts of that before moving in with her. Your girlfriend and her children are a package deal. If you didn't like the idea of having part of your household contribution going towards her kids, then you shouldn't have moved in together.

Answer 8

Well I guess that depends on what kind of relationship you are planning on having one of necessity or one of love, it is up to you two to figure that one out. And try to keep Mom out of the equation as much as possible let here be Grandma your wife has three kids do not think she needs a mommy anymore, time for her to be a Mom. I guess something like this would take some time to decide as there seems there may be some trust issues here..

Answer 9

when I stayed with a friend for awhile, we didn't split rent, bills, etc. he had him, wife, 3 kids. so we just worked out a deal of $50 a week and I buy my own food. worked well.

cause for $200 a month, one can find a studio apt on campus normally or the 1 bdrm that you will occupy.

Answer 10

why does the rent go 2 her mom? i had a similar situation. my hubby n i have a baby of our own. i worked and he worked n then i have a child from a previous marriage and the guy is missing and has not seen her since she was 2 mo old the child is 16 now. anyway yeah he resents me because we cant find the mother...f**ker to get him to pay support. so it makes it hard on my hubby. and me of course.but i think since u r not married to this girl then u should pay ur own car n car insurance and your portion of the rent and pay for only tyhe food u eat and dont touch her kids food or hers...seems like joy luck club to me ...i mean this splitting the middle stuff is like roomate situation not relationship/married status.
since she gets child support ...she should spend that on her kids food/med/dent/living expenses/ etc// and the food stamps go to food for her n her kids only then...and u buy ur own food n toiletries n do not let the kids or girlfriend touch them or eat from them if u want to get to the nitty gritty then put ur name on em. as far as cable n elec n phone n stuff likethat yeah split in middle with her...or if u want to be "cheap skatish and jerkish" say hey honey u ...wait for example...bill for elec is 100...
say there are 5 of us so i am only gonna pay 20 bucks for elec usage since there are 4 of them...i mean yes i guess its fair but it is also kinda cheapskate and jerkish to me... oh and when u all go out to dinner just embarrass her and you by being again.."cheap" and look the bill over n say i pay my portion and u pay urs and ur kids... do u get my point her dude??

Answer 11

Are you trying to drink the milk , without buying the cow?? Come on, you have set up house with her, with all the fringe benefits, so there fore you should pay half of the upkeep of the house , apartment and the utlities.... You would have to pay that anyway, if you had a guy for a room mate, with no fringe benefits.... So come on