I'm bi and my step-sis is a lesbian. Her partner and her are "married." She lives in another state,and she was visiting back in December,and her partner told my six year old daughter they were married without me knowing. Do you think that was right? I was furious,not that they are lesbians,but it's not their place to tell my daughter,and not tell me. What do you think?
2007-05-10 03:14:32 · 10 answers · asked by dragonfly 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Texas,fyi I was bi long before my mother married my step-father and before my step-sis came out. My sexuality has nothing to do with hers,we were NOT raised IN the same family,I was grown by the time my mother got remarried,and my step-sis was almost 18. I'm not "screwed up" thank you very much.
2007-05-10 03:27:52 · update #1
I just found out recently she told her,this happened in December. I've always explained to my child that sometimes children have a mom and a dad,sometimes one or the other,and sometimes two moms or two dads. She does know that much. Just thought they were out of line for telling her without asking ME first.
2007-05-10 03:30:09 · update #2
telling to a kid is unethical.
2007-05-10 03:18:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
Honstly I dont think she meant any harm... I would imagine she knowing of your sexuality assumed that you wouldnt mind your children hearing that... I personally in the same situation might have made that same mistake, I am gay and my brother has 3 daughters and the oldest one is 8 and then there is a 18month old and a month old... and I was talking to my brother in front of the 8 year old and I said boyfriend and it was just me being comfortable with my brother I didnt even think of what I was saying in front of his daughter so talk to her and tell her how you feel and just keep in mind that she might not have thought about what she was saying just because sometimes we dont realise that we are stepping on peoples toes I certainly didnt but I didnt mean to go against anyones wishes and I can completely understand how she might have been thinking when she was saying what she said so just let her know how you feel and ask her where she was coming from...
2007-05-10 12:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by zipohda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were gay and married to another gay person and someone (regardless of age) asked me if we were married I would say yes. However, I would not volunteer the information to anyone (regardless of age).
What are you protecting your 6 year old from anyway? Gay people exist. Gay people care for each other. Gay people get married. Why shelter your child by giving her an inaccurate world view? Why encourage ignorance of what is out there? Sure, she may be a bit young to understand the implications of same sex relationships, but kids can be surprising in what they understand.
What is the most harm that could possibly come to her? At most it might confuse her a little bit as to what a traditional couple is, but in the long run she'll probably be a kinder and more understanding person.
I think as a parent you should challenge your child to avoid thinking in the ruts of normality and convention. She'll be a much more intelligent and independent person if you do.
2007-05-10 10:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by Peter D 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your whole family is screwed up when it comes to sexuality. Were you and your step-sis created in a test tube or what? But, to answer your question, your step-sister was wrong to tell your 6 year old child anything about her personal relationship. Your child is too young to understand the concept of marriage and did not need to be told anything. I fear your child will have her own sexual identity problems when she starts puberty if not before. It has nothing to do with her telling you. She probably thought you had figured it out already. Get over it and get help.
2007-05-10 10:23:35 · answer #4 · answered by TexasDolly 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
They should have asked you first because they would have no idea just what your daughter would understand (who knows exactly what a 6 yo does understand).
Nevertheless - the "damage" has been done. You didn't indicate how your daughter reacted to the news (questions etc) or what you said to her after you found out she was told.
2007-05-10 10:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I'm assuming they had a wedding or something, so they are married in some sense, so if you wanted to be the one to tell your daughter you should have done so earlier so she wouldn't have had to.
2007-05-10 12:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by geramd4040 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you be mad if your sister was married to a guy and she told your daughter she was married? No? Then don't be so double-standard about it.
2007-05-11 10:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by Tina Goody-Two-Shoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's simply trying to relate a grown up situation, in terms a child will understand. lighten up, you know that gays and lesbians can't wed, YET
2007-05-10 10:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that perhaps your sister did not know you didn't want her to tell your child. But since she already did, maybe it will help your child to accept people of different sexualities for who they are and not who they like?
2007-05-10 10:21:58 · answer #9 · answered by derpdaderppderp 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is nothing wrong with them talking about it with anyone, but yes, they should have told you also
2007-05-10 10:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋