"I need to learn how to let go"?

Question

I have too many awful burdens and resentments throughout my teenhood. I'm now 18 yrs old and i find it very hard to move forward with all of this. Every single day i try my best to fight it all off by pretending that it is all gone. But once i think i fought it all off they all come back and bring me down. It sort of like it gets the best of me everytime. I've tried so many ways to stay emotionally strong with all of this, but it is so much that i cannot handle. I really don't want the burdens and resentments to carry on with me into my adulthood. I want to start living a life of being worry free and just free. I want to stop it all right now. I've tried various amounts of counseling and therapy but none work.

Answer 1

Giving "Thanks" is the biggest weapon against this.

"I'm thankful for: roads, toilets, toothbrushes, people who pick lettuce so I can eat it, carpet, television, shaved legs, pillows, pets, aspirin, coffee, education, my mind ... "

Every time you find yourself focusing on the bad stuff ... spend 3 minutes listing (in your mind) stuff that your thankful for. You can even pick one thing like "I'm thankful for ducks" and say this over and over for the three minutes ... just make sure it's something you're truly thankful for, and appreciate!!!

Answer 2

It is easy for us to tell you what to do, after all, we are not experiencing the difficulties that you are under.

Still, since you asked for input, I hope that what I have to share will help.

1. Please learn to forgive yourself. Sometimes, you cannot avoid being in a situation, or you may be defenceless and someone took advantage of your situation. When you forgive yourself, then can you only forgive others.

2. Please do the forgiving daily, until the load is finally off. If you forgive yourself and others, you will be free.

There is always hope. Blessings be unto you.

Answer 3

I know exactly what your talking about. I am only 14, but I have gone through more than what most adults will...Life is hard, its unfair, but one day, your going to look back and realize...It didnt all have to be bad. Yes, It would have been alilttle bad. bit not totally.

Answer 4

This is a very important topic. I've got to address it. The feeling of attachment is a very common one through out day to day life. Possession being 9/10ths of the law, it's easy to see how our thinking could become trained by this constant bombardment of possession and the "reality" and seriousness that seems to surround it. Ask any person who tries to tell you, "we can't own anything" and the police will show their disdain quick , fast, and in a hurry with their arrest for stealing, trespassing, or so on. How can someone deny something so real as possession? To start the answer off, first we need to understand what it is to own something and that takes us to the most basic foundations of what life in the universe consists of. Balance. Meaning either dichotomy or the oneness of those halves. Imagine a teeter totter. That's the universe. This teeter totter simply must stay balanced. Thus when you add something to one side, it's polar opposite must be realized or else the balance is not maintained and the system becomes unstable. This is common with chemistry in it's portrayal that unstable elements will decompose and emit radiation until they reach a balanced state. The universe must have balance in order to maintain itself. And with this Universal principle of balance comes it's application to all things in therein. For North pole of a magnet there must be a south pole, for up there must be down, for left there must be a right, for out there has to be in, for good there has to be bad, for light there has to be dark, so on and so forth until we get to the principle that applies, which is for physical to be there must be nonphysical essence. In other words, for something to exist physically it must first be perceived through thought. So in that sense, All things are thought. We see an object, we smell a pie, we hear bird, we sense all of these things but if ever our sensory faculties were to become impaired we'd no longer have that specific venue of interpretation. If we had no senses. No touch, no taste, no sight, no hearing, no sense of smell, or no psychological metaphysical connection, where would all of our ideas lie? Would the other things exist? After all we couldn't sense them. It's the tree falls in the forest idea. Will anyone hear it? Logically you know the natural cause and effect of things. A tree in a forest will make a sound if it falls. But the idea here is that without your sensory interpretation of it, the thought does not exist for you. And if the thought does not exist for you, nor does the object. This means the reality of something or not is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is your thought interpretation. All things are thought. If it exists physically, there is a thought process behind it. Although this could go back as far as to speak of the intelligent creative source that created everything, for all practical purposes our point is made. All things are physical and nonphysical are thought. Which is also another dichotomy, have you noticed? Universally things either end up being one thing that encompasses all things in the universe, thought for example, or becoming too equal and opposite halves, in the example of physicality and being nonphysical. Thus, if you wish to let go of something, realize the nature of it's existance. It's a thought in your mind. Wayne Dyer expresses this most wonderfully. Think of a dream. Everyone has had this experience. Pretend you're dreaming. You're having a really good dream. Something happens, either through the natural process of your biological sleeping timer or through a physical sensation as though a noise or someone shaking you, you wake up. And the first thing you think is " I want to go back to sleep so I can see how this dream ends! It was such a good dream" and maybe you even try to do that. But the point is that, you're the one making the dream! Why go back to sleep you're the one behind the thought process. It's your beliefs about the realities of the world that is making the dream as wonderful as it is. Why go back for you can create it exactly the way you'd like it! If all things are thought, and dreams are thought, then especially in the sense of manifestation, life is thought too. In such a sense, life is no different than a dream. Say in your wonderful dream you had Lamborghinis and Ferraris. "There was gold in there, I was rich! Everyone loved me in my dream, I was the ruler! I've got to go back I've got to have.." Someone would cart you off. You can't remain attached to things in your dreams. They're not real. Likewise with life. These thoughts aren't real per se. Possessions are temporarily leased to you for around 90 or so years. The Jewelry that adorns you will adorn another in another instant. You're not things or physical attributes. You're a thought process, an awareness. That's all you came with and that's all you'll be leaving wth. So when it's time to let something go. Do it. It never was anything besides a thought in your mind and there's no use leaving a thought in your mind that's going to harm you. There's no use to be constantly thinking about what's going to go wrong. That's called paranoia, that's called panic. People in that state go to asylums with padded rooms and a white jacket. There's no use thinking about things that aren't going to serve or benefit you. So there's no use having clingy thoughts in your mind when all that you need you already have. Make amends with the past. Consciously, realize the nature of all things. Things are real because there is a universal consensus of thought that says "I agree this is". That's the only thing that could ever constitute a reality in a perspective based world. If every single person on the planet right now stopped believing, or somehow forgot, that there is supposed to be a difference between nationalities and geographical locations; You'd seem insane for saying WAIT THIS IS THE UNITED STATES! Where's everyone's patriotism??? What the world is going on?! You'd be back in your padded room again. These troubles have troubled you because you believe in the thought consensus between you and those involved with the altercation. You believed that "Okay this situation happened and this is real", and then you allow your subconscious to do the most natural reaction to such a situation, whether learned or otherwise, which is in this case to feel rather unpleasant. Now that you know the nature of all things, it's clear that that isn't the case anymore. It'll be easy for you to let those past things go now because it's no more than waking up from a pleasant sleep, or even a nightmare for that matter. Naturally, if you wish to make admends for a situation perhaps by doing a nice gesture or finding them and talking about if if you want it to feel real like it did when it first happened, that's one way. What I'm now stating is that once you realize that you're mind cannot destroy you without your permission and that's all that it's really doing because the situation is over, it's no longer happening, it's not happening at this moment in time, nor will it happen again. It's simlpy you going back over and over something that you once saw as very real. Choose not to have your mind affect you but for you to affect and direct it. Once you have the situation solved for you, then you can go out and solve it with the others it involved if it pleases you to do so. Right now you're no longer involved with those plagues of the past. You'll probably forget them within the next few days. Now here's the real secret to thought control and manifestations. Thoughts expand and What is forgotten, gradually disappears into nothing. By your constant regurgitation of these negative past experiences you've been giving them focus, energy, and thereby inertia to continue showing up for you. It's karma, it's the law of attraction, it's memory, whatever you want to call it: That's what's happening. From now on, everytime those old specific thoughts show up, STARTLE yourself. Do something crazy or unexpected to set yourself off a bit. You'll be training your mind, rather than having your mind send you on it's own little loops as though it were the one in charge. Once you're a bit off of your balance, do something pleasant. Do not try to forget the thought, by thinking of what to forget you would have been giving the thought more energy. It's a good thing not to do that. Do something pleasant in this time period, listen to a song or music that uplifts you. Call a friend, go for a walk, do something you enjoy! The more you think about what you want the more of that will seem to show up in your thoughts and thus your experiences due to the natural dichotomy of balance. And eventually, without attention or energy what once plagued you in the past will never, ever ever be again. You'll hardly even remember it. And that's a very encouraging that. It'll be amazing.