I am 15 and my boyfriend is 17. I resently found out I was pregnant, and my boyfriend has been begging me and begging me to get an abortion. But to me thats not an option, I've already decided Im going to keep this child. But he tells me over and over that he doesnt want it and hes "not sure" if hes going to stick around. And yes I know that should tell me right there, hes a jerk, forget about him anyway. But is there anything I can say to him to make him realize that we CAN do this without abortion or adoption taking place.
2007-05-10 01:03:11 · 13 answers · asked by Yelsha 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You can't change his mind. You need to let him go and see if he decides to come around or even just stay. I'm so sorry. I had my first at a young age (I was 18) and when I said that abortion was not an option, we agreed on adoption. But after just a couple of months, I knew I couldn't do it. I told him I needed to keep the baby. He went off to boot camp and I thought I would never see him again. Well, we both grew up in a hurry. He did come back. We just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and have seven beautiful children together. There was a lot of pain, a lot of tears along the road, but it all worked out beautifully in the end. You can't force another human being. Do what you must and perhaps he'll come around. But you must face the possibility that he may not. Then you can see him in court or write him off, whichever you prefer.
Best wishes.
2007-05-10 01:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by mennyd 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is probably terrified - as i'm sure you are. He is only 17 which makes him very young mentally and he's thinking with a boy's mind not a man's. My husband was 27 when i had our daughter and it took him ages to face up to the fact that someone else comes first, he still cocks up sometimes and acts like a child. Your boyfriend is still immature and he'd have to be willing to make the mental leap into adulthood and responsibility and it doesn't sound like he wants to yet. This isn't an excuse for him, because you both should have been more careful and he's not supporting you but he isn't a man and he's got no idea what to do with you and baby. Of course he's not going to stick around because the alternative is to grow up and he doesn't know how or where to begin. Chances are he'll regret leaving you when he's all grown up but if you are going to keep the baby then you need to get on with looking after yourself and baby, don't waste emotional energy trying to make him love you both - it'll end in tears. You seem like a strong girly to me and you know in your heart that you'll have to let him go if that's what he wants. Concentrate on sorting your life out to best care for your new arrival and be the best mummy you can be - you can find yourself a man later on. xxxxx
2007-05-10 01:16:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to change his mind. He is thinking that his life is over. At the ripe age of 17 he is going to have a child, a wife, and all of the responsibilities that come with it. Of course he (and you) should have thought about this before starting a sexual relationship. He wants to grow up. Experience life. Maybe finish his education before being a responsible adult with a family. None of this makes his actions right or even defensible but these are the facts as I see them.
2007-05-10 01:15:36 · answer #3 · answered by troythom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not much that you can say...you can't change a someone, they have to be willing to change and it has to be on their own accord...deep down he may be scared of becoming a father or having such a big responsibility at such a young age...give him time, if he has any type of morals or values he won't just abandon his child...just a hint of advice: don't make the situation all about you, i know that you're pregnant and probably very needy right now, but if he says he doesn't want to be with you (which i know would be really hurtful) and he just wants to take care of the child, let him...don't stand in the way of him being with the child regardless of what happens with the two of you...best wishes...i hope that he changes his mind....
2007-05-10 01:20:57 · answer #4 · answered by milanj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like he is afraid he is going to lose all his freedom and rightly so.
Tell him that although you all started too young, the good news is that by the time he is 35 (prime of his life) the kid has already grown up and off to college and then he can have his life back. This is an advantage because most people who have their baby when they are older, will be baby sitting an infant at 35.
So show him the positive side of things. It's not so bad :)
2007-05-10 01:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by Tourang B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the proper factor. Just considering she carried this child does not make her a mom. She is a donor. She made the option to signal her rights away. Legally, it's not her little one any more. In the first-class curiosity of the little one, she will have to no longer even take delivery of visitation.
2016-09-05 15:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound pretty mature and intelligent for 15( not that i'm any smarter than i was when i was 15) GETs some brochures and thing for him to read and maybe meet up with some older people who were teen parents and let them give you advise and show you that you CAN do it
DON'T LISTEN TOWHAT CASSANDRA IS SAYING. FIRST OFF NOT EVERYONE BREASTFEEDS THEIR BABY FOR TWO YEARS. I AM ONLY GOING TO DO IT FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS OR SO. AND YOU CAN BE AWAY FROM BABY FOR THAN 10 HOURS A WEEK, HOW DO YOU THINK PEOPLE GO TO WORK OR FINISH UP COLLEGE. PEOPPLE LIKE CASSANDRA ARE JUST AZZHOLES
2007-05-10 01:12:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
he made the decision to lay with you whether he wanted this or not he knew the possibility you don't want to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you killed or gave away your baby this is a gift from god keep it no matter where that baby goes he will still always have a kid he cant get rid of that so tell him he needs to take responsibility cuz you need him and your baby needs him don't let him walk away from yall! good luck god bless you i will pray for you and you should try praying!
(god listens)
love, Jessica
2007-05-10 01:13:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first why you had sex with him when you both are teen. It's illegal!! do you know all this?
I'm 20, a boy.
now I would suggest you pray for him to Lord Jesus and ask Lord to settle down this issue but first ask for forgiveness of what you have done?
sure It will help you!!
and you can also find out a pastor to help you furthur.
Prayer is the most powerful thing a human can do to change things around!!!!!
2007-05-10 01:15:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jesus iz 4 all 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think anything you say will change his mind, but once he sees that cute little baby he will want to stick around...if not then he is scum.
2007-05-10 01:08:37 · answer #10 · answered by KungFu Ninja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋