have affair with a guy from last 5year& problem is that have physical relationship we both love each other& want to marry but i cant go against parent now i broke relation with him but still v love eachother. now i m geeting married in nov. but i m affraid m i ready to make relation with other. whether i have to say about my physical relation to my hubby or not. it is cheating& i m feeling that god will punish me for my affair.my would be hubby is so caring but feeling that it is not good if dont tell abt relation & i have to pay for it. whether god will punish me or not for all my doing or not. but all u know that we cant control our feeling when someone v love have in front of us& it happens automatically. suggest me whether told to hubby or not
2007-05-09 19:03:18 · 17 answers · asked by jhanak 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its weaklings like you that spoil the name of love, you are too weak even to talk to your own parents and make them convinced abt ur love. You are cheating on the poor fellow, like you will shortly cheat your poor, unsuspecting fiancee,
Its time you straightened up honey, bring back your life on track, go back to the fellow you loved, and your parents will understand. I dont think you were serious enough with the poor guy in the first place
Dont make people lose faith in love dear....I have been through this situation and I know how disgustingly phoney things become afterwards
2007-05-09 19:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by piyush C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well can understand what you going through But in my opinion you should tell your would be hubby about your past. You have said that he is very caring and loving he will surely understand your problem. Since your going to start fresh its best you should not keep any secrets from him. Its best you tell him instead of him hearing it from people. He will appreciate you for being honest with him but dear do not hide your past god knows some day it may come in front of you and knowing it later will only hurt your would be hubby's feelings and the main thing is that you will feel guilty your whole life for what happened and not informing your hubby. So dear go ahead and tell your fiance everything about your past and am sure he will accept you as you are and most likely appreciate your honesty in telling him everything.
2007-05-09 19:24:52 · answer #2 · answered by paradisegirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rather starange that you fall in love with someone and even go to the extent of having physical relationship and still fear your parents to get married. Is this NOT cheating? Your parents would not approve of this either.
You shall have cheated your parents as well as your spouse, if you do so. I believe that you should try to convince your parents about your love and get married to the guy you love.
If this is not at all possible (how I widh it were...), you should NOT let your hubby know about the relationship because it was neither an accidental physical relationship nor it was an innocent affair. You were involved knowingly...
2007-05-09 20:32:17 · answer #3 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your would-be hubby that you had relationship with only one man & both of you loved each other sincerely like husband and wife. It was a sort of "Honest marriage". and he should accept you as a divorced woman or a widow or whatever. After having relationship with a person for 5 years it is not good & perhaps not possible mentally & spirituallly to hide the the fact from your husband all your life. & live with guilt.
If you were raped or if the relationship was accidental for a while & over in a very short time... you could have perhaps hidden the fact but in this situation better to be honest to one of your parents & the hubby for sure.!
2007-05-09 19:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why cant you marry the one you love? Any particular reasons? Get some courage and tell your parents. Ask the guy whom you love to make a proposal. Let him come home and ask your parents. If he does not want to come home and ask for your parents blessing then tha dude is just playing you and you can go ahead marry the one in Nov and keep the affair a secret as the Indian guys dont take the news of their wifes love tales.
2007-05-09 20:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by nice guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you didn't do anything wrong purposefully. Yes you should have taken a control over your desires with that man, and you should have calculated your future prospects before falling into that relationship. It would have been better if you could have married the one you love. But again, that's life. You don't always get what you want.
I usually suggest people to be honest. But in your case, I think you shouldn't speak a word about this to your groom. Just forget all that happened and look towards future. Yo ufailed to look at future prospects once in your life and I bet you don't wanna do it again.
All the best...
:-)
2007-05-10 08:17:52 · answer #6 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hai dear
Dont confuse urself. Now u are married, u want to just think about your own family, not ur lover. First stop thinking about ur lover because there is a person that is ur husband. Dont cheat him. And also another one thing dont tell him about your love ok it will break your life into two. So be carefull in this matter. U need not to tell to your husband. U have realized your own, so God will not punish you. But god will punish you when u cheat ur husband who keps love and affection on you.
Take care dear
With love
Ammu
2007-05-09 19:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by Madurai Malli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God will do what??? Punish you??? But who has brain washed you???
Being in love and having sex with somebody you love isn´t any crime and forget about all that stupid things they try to teach you.
The only crime I can see here is, that you don´t marry the one you love. This is your crime, you will get married somebody who is not your choice just to please your parents.
It´s like throwing away your life and I am sure that god will have nothing to do with that... but you are punishing yourself.
Anyway, your life is your life and at least you should keep your sweet memories to yourself. Why should you tell another man what you feel for somebody else?? He will not understand and in the case he understands he will know, that you never would feel the same for him - because your future husband isn´t your real choice.
To be honest, you should be brave and marry the one you love and not a 2nd class choice made by your parents.
2007-05-09 22:40:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anita P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sister i think its ur past so just bury it. ur going to start a new life so be happy for it. and if u really regret what u have done in the past the best way to correct ur mistakes is by giving all the happiness, love, respect & everything u can to ur hubby. this will only better up things for u. as far as the punishment u think God will give u let me tell u God always forgives who regret thier mistakes & want to improve themselves by doing every good thing they can. admitting ur mistakes is a very hard thing. and u have done it so believe me just concentrate on ur new life . hope u have a wonderful marreid life. bye & take care.
2007-05-10 07:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be getting married to him if you love another, and if it means telling him or not the marriage is doomed, what is the point of marrying the man tell him it is over, and as far as hurting your parents, they will get over it, but to mess up yours and the man you intend marrying is just plain wrong girl, end it before you get hurt and hurt your future hubby, there is no point in thinking of getting married if you truly love this other man
2007-05-09 20:19:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋