Okay, so we fought over our wedding plans so much that I just gave up completely and we just got married after church one sunday. No dress, no reception, NOTHING. We never had a honeymoon, and on our wedding night I was bawling because after we got married he wanted to go to his cousins house and finally we left about 3 hours later after he finally got the hint. I thought that MAYBE he'd planned a nice dinner or something, but no. We came straight home and he ordered pizza. He never does anything special for me for Valentines day. I got a rose and a bag of m&ms this year. For my birthday he let me bid on a Vera Bradley on ebay and then just invited his family to a resturant to eat and gave me a card, which actually was better than last year.. last year he didn't even get me a card.. we just went to the mall! I had bought a few new outfits so he said that they would be counted as my bday presents. For our first anniversary we went to an outlet mall and he bought me two fossil watches.
2007-05-09 17:24:29 · 13 answers · asked by ... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
IDK. We have money. He can afford to give me nice things on special occasions..it's not like I just spend money all the time, I never do. He just doesn't care. He has never once made me feel special. After he failed to even get me a card for my birthday last year I was so upset and I was crying and he said we would go home and light some candles and eat pizza. Seriously. I know all men aren't romantic, but he knows what I think is nice and sweet and I don't expect much, just some friggin flowers every once in a while. :/
2007-05-09 17:24:36 · update #1
What you are looking for in a man you will not find in this one. He does somewhat provide for you but not emotionally. It seems like you are looking for a man to say I love you out of the blue and show some affection.
The only thing I would recommend is having a serious talk with him and tell him how you feel. He might never change and you have to ask yourself if you want to be with someone like this. Some women don't care and this would not bother them. However I know I need someone who will pay attention to me and show affection.
Good Luck and Best Wishes to you.
2007-05-10 03:38:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask how long you knew him before getting engaged/married? I'm hoping you never went through a birthday or valentine's day before the wedding.
Either way, at some point in your lives, he made you happy enough to decide to marry him. It sounds like he's more just socially retarded rather than a jerk. Clue him in. He's your husband, in theory your best friend and the one person you can (and should) always be totally honest with. You can't call him a jerk until you seriously open up and then if he disrespects your feelings or intentionally continues the romantic neglect, then he's a total jerk.
Worst case, try to reach a compromise or even maybe counseling. Good Luck!
2007-05-09 21:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by Katie J 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say he is thoughtless rather than a jerk, I don't know him in person so I can't insult him like that. Obviously YOU feel he is a jerk. I don't measure a person's affection on the gifts they give. Perhaps you need to take matters in to your own hands and tell him what you want for your birthday, that seems to work well, men generally don't take hints. I can't believe that he has turned into this person after you married, surely you could see this sort of behavior before you married (alarm bells would have rung when I was at the planning stage at least...if he was being that awkward I don't think I would have married him)
2007-05-09 21:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself how he is the rest of the time? Does he come home to you every night? Is he out running around with his buddies and drinking and causing trouble? If he is good to you the rest of the time, I would suggest you hold on to that for dear life and forget about how he remembers your birthday and holidays...I would rather have a man who comes home to me each night and isn't exactly Mr. Romantic, than be married to someone who 'worships the ground I walk on' and buys me expensive gifts and plays Mr. Romantic - many of those men are doing the exact same thing with more than one woman.
2007-05-10 06:41:28 · answer #4 · answered by MJ MCK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a huge JERK!!!!!!!! You need to get someone new. You should have better than that. My boyfriend treats me way better than that and we have only been together for three months. You might love him to death but he doesn't love you. Do something soon or its going to get to the point where all you do is fix his super and grab him a beer. Get out!!! Please. If you do take a year or two before you get in to a new relationship. Make sure that when you get a new boyfriend ( if you do) he treats you right during the dating stage. I wish you the best of luck with your promble. GET OUT!!!!!
2007-05-10 03:00:42 · answer #5 · answered by HANNAH K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it that he doesnt do Valentines Day, or is it that he never thinks of you? Some guys (and girls) dont really get holidays, but they would do other sweet things for their girl.
If he was like this before you got married, then what were you expecting?
2007-05-10 01:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Was he always this way? He wasn't going to become a romantic AFTER you married him...
My bf doesn't do crap for me either, but he used to so I know he can. Hubby needs to understand that this could destroy the marriage. Are there other control issues? Please, please, go talk to someone. He may be a jerk, but you might be condoning it without realizing it. Ouch. You have to speak up, calmly, and clearly, without crying or yelling. I'm guessing he just doesn't get it.
good luck!
2007-05-09 20:14:41 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer W 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes he is a major jerk and a jackass. you should have seen the signs before you married him. in any case it's obvious that he doesn't care about you or he is romancing another.
either way you would probably be happier without him. you are worth a lot more than this guy gives you credit for. and you shouldn't be afraid to show your self-worth to him or anyone else.
best of luck,
2007-05-09 21:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. He sounds like a tremendous jerk.
I think you'd better look into some marriage counseling--either solo or together. You're obviously very hurt by his actions, and I would be too.
You need someone to help you get your relationship worked out.
2007-05-10 01:35:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-11 05:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by klohs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋