I am moving home to be with family and we are expecting our first child in October.
2007-05-09 14:01:38 · 13 answers · asked by jenblueblonde 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Support your troop. Try to keep whatever communication you can by mail/phone or webcam. If you miss his call dont beat yourself up you cant answer it 24/7 but try to be there.Keep him updated with events/changes and the growth of the child. That will be the hardest thing for him.
Like mentioned above try not to argue about things that he cant change of have any effect on while hes away.Nothing sucks more then being on the other side of the planet and not being able to help your loved ones even with simple things.
Take care of yourself and dont become depressed.Its good your moving in with family for support. While you can support each other you both are going to be taking care of yourselves untill he comes home and have faith he will.
If you get in touch with his unit they will have programs to help you with the change. More then likely all the wifes will form a support group.
Good luck and stay healthy.
Stay away from the News. They are one sided and never focus on anything positive that we have done.
2007-05-09 15:29:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Its hard, it really is. The first time my husband got deployed we'd been married 6 months. I spent a lot of time with my family and friends. It helped to keep busy. It really does get easier. The first few days I was a complete wreck. But after a few weeks it feels almost normal. Towards the end of his deployment I started looking for houses. I bought a condo and I stayed really busy painting and picking out furniture. My husband is getting deployed again sometime between November and March (gotta love the military time tables). We have been trying to get pregnant again before he leaves (we have a 16 month old now). I am so scared to give birth with out him here if we do get pregnant. So I know exactly what you are going through. One thing that really helped me was going to the family support groups meetings and events. It was great to see other army wives and to have someone who was feeling the same way I was. It was also a great way to stay informed on what was going on, at that point my husband was only an E-4 so he didn't always know. Good luck and feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to.
2007-05-10 01:14:12 · answer #2 · answered by Libby L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand what you are going though, more than you know. When my husband left for his first deployment back in March of 03 I was also pregnant and due in September. I also was choosing to live with my folks. First thing I suggest is to stay away from the news as best you can, it will only make you more upset then it will help you. Second you have to stay busy. If you can I suggest finding a part time job or something to make the time go by. If you can't get a really good hobby. Third make sure that you are walking as much as you can and getting enough sun light. Pregnant women tend to want to stay inside a lot since it is comfortable to them which can lead to depretion. Also be ready for the separation between you and your husband I am not sure how long you have been a military wife but if you don't already know he wont be able to call you a lot. And there will be times when he has been there for a while that you both will run out of things to talk about so be patient with him he is having to deal with a lot of crap. As for your sanity goes just remind yourself why his is over there and plan life for the best when he gets back but don't let your self become immune to the fact that bad **** happens over there and I pray that it doesn't for you but there is always the possibility. As a military wife we alway and forever have to hope for the best but plan for the worst. If your husband is still deployed when your child is born make sure you have a lot of pictures to post around for the baby to see. This will help him/her to learn their daddy and make sure you talk about him a lot and let him talk on the phone to him/her so they will be able to recognize his voice when he does come home.
Hope this helps, If you have any other questions let me know.
2007-05-09 15:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by soccer_babe_1508 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My advice, as an ex-navy wife (hubbs got oout) get a job. You must have a life, not just wait for him to come home. On our first deployment, i just waited and waited, and it dragged on and on. Then i got a job and it was waaaayy better. It makes you focus a lil bit on your life too, not just constantly thinking about when he will be home. Also...get involved with your community. I would say going home now is great becuase of pregnancy. But after this i would kind of wean yourself off of family, just so that you can take in all the base/town has to offer. Basically dont just sit around and think about it all day long like i did in the beginning. I cant stress this enough. I Would go back in a heart beat and would have worked. (oh the only reason why i did say "wean" yourself off of family isnt rude, and i am not saying say goodbye to family for good after this, i more less meant: I lived 3 hours away from our whole family, we were lucky to get stationed so close. But it also was a downfall for me. I never really connected with all of my friends, cause on big holidays or weekends or just whatever, i just drove home to my "my friends from back home" well point is, i missed out drastically. I never made good friends at our base. I never knew what it was like to have really good friends where we were stationed. I was trying to live in two different places at the same time.....When we moved that is when i realized how much i missed out. Also once we got "home" all my "real friends" were either gone, or not my friends anymore. I really missed out big time. I just dont want to see this happen to you. Enjoy life, enjoy the deployment, i know you think i am nuts by saying this, but once he gets home after bout 2 weeks you will wish he was back on deployment! i swear!...Enjoy it for what it is, cause its not going to be what you want, it sucks, its sad, it sucks sucks!
2007-05-09 20:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by KC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a former enlisted in the Navy who spent about 3 months of his first year of marriage with his wife. My wife and I went through 7 deployments during my 10 years in and this is how she got through:
1. Keep a close rapport with your family. Visit as often as you need to and they can stand. It helps to be with those you love.
2. Keep your spouse updated with the goings on in your life by e-mail, letter, etc. He will feel closer to you that way, even though he's out there.
3. Volunteer with the unit/base spouse's support group. You all can help each other through the tough times, and you may make some good friends.
4. If anything major goes wrong, don't hesitate to contact your local Red Cross, explain the situation to them and give them your husband's name, social security number, and unit. They will get the message to him post haste.
2007-05-09 14:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by AniMeyhem! 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
try to keep yourself busy. Write him a letter every other day about what you are doing.
I've never been on the "home" side of deployment, so I have no idea of what my family members and friends went through when I was deployed in 1990.
So, I can't really help you, but I know getting mail was a great treat.
2007-05-09 15:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by Rawbert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong!! and be there for him. It will be hard but like so many people have said keep busy!! It is one of the most hardest things to go through but it will make you stronger as a person. It is a good idea that you are going to stay with family while he is away there are many spouses that can't do that due to being stationed overseas. I wish you and your family the best of luck take care.
2007-05-09 22:12:36 · answer #7 · answered by british gurly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not take this incorrect, yet get a life. IE: commence residing your own life -- pass to school, volunteer, get a job, get your own friends or in effortless words, commence residing like you've been unmarried back ( minus the partying, guy searching ) in case you advance your own interest, then your life is totally not as dull or lonely at the same time as your better 1/2 is lengthy gone. 2. And convinced, this would result life at the same time as your better 1/2 receives back. because once you advance your own interest, your not likely to purely drop them, at the same time as your better 1/2 is back residing house. 3. yet this would contained in the lengthy time period, make your marriage more beneficial ideal, because you'd be a good looking good individual
2016-10-18 06:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by swailes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how bad things get at home and no matter how frustrated you get, remember that he is in a combat zone. Try to keep any communication focused on good. He calls for a morale boost. He wants to hear your voice. It is a horrible thing to hang up upset while over there.
2007-05-09 14:43:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jason R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about your exact situation but I'm glad you'll be with your family for your pregnancy. I can't even imagine what it is like to have say good-bye to your husband. But remember that there are people out here who care about you and him and are thankful not just for the job he is doing but for the sacrifice you are making as well.
2007-05-09 14:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by busyintelligentartist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋