Is it appropriate to help a woman other than my date/girlfriend with her jacket?

Question

My girlfriend feels that it is completely inappropriate for me to help a stranger with her jacket. I've always thought it was an act of general kindness and an expression of good manners. I'm especially interested in the opinion of other women.

Thanks.

Answer 1

If you are with your girlfriend, then it would be inappropriate to help a woman other than her with her jacket -- unless that person was a close friend of yours or a relative.

I think that helping a woman with her coat implies a comfort with the person you're helping or a desire to be in a comfortable situation. Your current girlfriend may feel very offended at even the implied notion that you are wanting to feel "comfortable" with someone other than her -- no matter how good and kind your intentions are.

So kudos on wanting to be a gentleman. But I'd skip helping other women with their coats.

Answer 2

If you are at a restaurant, or any place and you see a woman having a problem getting into a coat or jacket or whatever and you offer help there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. This is coming from someone who has a lot of trouble due to disabilities, and has had a lot of men and women notice the problems and has luckily met people like you who have offered the help. Tell your girlfriend that strangers really appreciate it at times when someone is alone and can't get into their coat, and a kind person offers the help. There is nothing wrong, even in the days of women's liberation, it's nice to be helped out sometimes, especially in the winter when you have a jacket, sweater and whatnot, and have to get into a heavy coat. Men like you are a blessing to the world. Usually I have my husband, but sometimes I go out alone and appreciate all the help I can get.

Answer 3

If you are unattached and single, then it is appropriate. Now that you have a girlfriend, you attention should be limited to your girlfriend alone. Do you like seeing your girlfriend "take care" of male strangers' personal comfort like straightening their neckties, brushing down their coat, or wiping food off their faces as a sign of kindness and good manner? I don't think so.

Answer 4

If you are leaving and pass a woman struggling with her jacket, I think it's perfectly fine to assist her. You're not groping her, just helping with her jacket. It's no different that picking up something she would drop on the floor. It's called...being a gentleman.

Women need to stop being so insecure and recognize chivalry vs. overt flirting. Keep on being a gentleman.

Answer 5

I don't think any of us women actually need help with our jacket, but helping your girlfriend/date is out of kindness.

Personally, I wouldn't like it if my fiance helped another woman with her jacket (unless she was elderly). That special treatment is for the woman your with. Helping another woman makes it less special in a way (considering the fact that most men don't even do that anymore).

Answer 6

I'm not a woman, but I say as long as you don't first tuck the sleeve of the jacket down the front of your pants............general good manners and respect.

Answer 7

If you see that a woman is struggling at trying to get her jacket on, then it's good to help her.

Answer 8

An unescorted woman may need your help. If she is a particular enemy of your GF, best leave her alone. Make sure
that your date is taken care of first. And of course you should help her mother, grandmother, etc. as well as your own
mother, etc.

Answer 9

It is a very nice thing to do. I'm always proud when my date is kind like that. (unless he cops a feel or asks for her phone number - that would be bad)

Answer 10

it is kind of rude to your date becuz then they feel left out and alone that is definetly offensive