No matter how good and law abiding I've been all my life, it seems that nothing ever goes right for me. Why?

Question

I'm in my 50's, unemployed, can't find a job that wants to pay decent money. Prospects looking dim. Afew years ago I had my own business and my children were well brought up and wanted for nothing. Times changed and the business went down the pan. We lost the house and the good standard of living. Through it all I was always thankfull for what I had and never took for granted the good times. But now I just can't get back on my feet. If there is a deity that looks after our welfare, why am I in such a bad position? I am not wingeing. Just annoyed.

Answer 1

Is there an answer you would find acceptable? Life is chaos...as much as we would like to think that there is order and purpose ultimately we're just hanging on to a tiny rock hurtling through time and space hoping that some other tiny rock doesn't crash into us.

You're in a slump. You obviously have the potential for success because you've experienced it previously. So the problem probably isn't you. I know that doesn't fix the fact of the hardships you are now enduring, but hopefully you can remind yourself of it from time to time and perhaps draw some strength from that knowledge.

Just don't quit. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep moving. Don't ever stop looking for opportunities and you'll be fine.

Answer 2

The story of my life, too, except that a sudden change in attitude came over me and I began to really appreciate what little I did have. Just as you do. At age 45 I was a stone's throw away from living on the street ('cept where I was living there were no streets ... just a small town about 30 miles away). I am your age now and live a very simple life with as few posessions as I can get away with. Still not making a decent living but getting by. On a good month I have $200 before payday rolls around. Maybe I should be worried about my future. I have no RRSPs, no savings, not even any assets to dissolve if I need to but I trust ... whether it's God or whatever ... I just continue to be the best person I can be and not worry. I look at my family and these incredible people who are my friends and I feel wealthier than the people I work for. I work as a domestic / gardener for a financially wealthy family. And it's taught me something I already knew ... I never want to have money ... not like that.

You're allowed to be annoyed ... and no, it didn't sound as though you were whining, just pondering. There is something you are supposed to learn from your position. I don't know what it is but as I've gone through some pretty harrowing experiences in the past, there is always something I have eventually learned from it all. And it's all good.

Answer 3

I understand the thoughts and feelings you are encountering. It can be confusing to the point where one would throw in the towel on God, but this would only serve to show that truth was never really understood before or now. This life has nothing to do with the reality God has created and governs. We, in our present age, truly believe that the material universe displaces God and His laws, and so continue living and thinking on this basis. The human mind will not experience heaven or harmony, but as we turn from it to find the truth of things and being, then things will start to "go our way," if there were such a thing in a spiritual creation.
It is on earth that we learn to overcome the world, so the trials of this false sense of things will be perpetual as long as the human consciousness seems to be present.
The darkest hour precedes the new dawn. Be strong and do not give into doubt, for doubt will chew you up and spit you out in the end. My goal right now is to become homeless as quickly as possible, and i never thought I would ever have a goal such as that. The hardships of this world can not separate people from the love of God.

Answer 4

It's all a matter of perspective- more has probably gone right than you give yourself credit for, but it's not too late. I had a meltdown about 15 years ago and was depressed because I thought I'd end up old and bitter like my father. So, here's the solution I came up with (it may need some adjusting for age and current accomplishments):

Make a list of 10 things you want to be noted for or to do in your lifetime, say by the time you hit 75. For every thing you accomplish, check it off and add a new one. Now, since you're 50, think back to when you were 20 and what you aspired to do. Have kids? Start a business? There's 2 all ready, right? It'll give you focus and purpose going forward and as long as you keep adding to it, your list of accomplishments will be quite long by the time your old. Then, instead of being bitter for what you don't have or could of had, you will be happy for everything you achieved. Trust me, it works. Good luck, mate.

Answer 5

I wrote a song a long time ago titled "Tuesday Afternoon". The first verse and chorus are:

I woke up on a Tuesday afternoon
With my head feeling like it fell down between my shoulders
I never even knew why she cared to leave me
But now she's gone and I'm so glad it's over

Why don't things ever work out for me
I can't ever seem to find the right way of living
I've always tried to be as good as I can be
But, instead of taking, I'm always giving.

I feel for you, man. But don't blame it on God. God never promised that we'd have a great life. His only promise is that we can go to heaven if we choose to. But you probably are not in the mood for a sermon, so enough of that. Just hang in there. Something will come along. Sign up for unemployment, then do some cash work on the side - painting, yard work, etc. Good luck.

Answer 6

I wish I knew what to tell you. My oldest sister, who will be 63 in June, has been struggling for over 30 years when she was with her son's dad. (He was bad news) Except for a period of 8 years, she has been struggling financially. During those 8 years though, her son was in prison, so it was bittersweet. She's been a kind and decent person, law abiding (even if her son wasn't), but it hasn't seemed to be in the cards for her to do well financially AND have her son out of jail. Now that she's started making decent money again, you guessed it, her son is back in jail. I don't know why some people who are less than ideal, sometimes seem to have things go pretty easy for them. I'm sure that they would tell you differently - it's just all in how you look at things. I don't want to seem preachy, but sometimes if you volunteer within the community, you have a better understanding that things aren't always what they seem, and you might make some connections that will be helpful to you down the road. The best of luck to you!

Answer 7

I'm also in my fifties, and I've had my ups and downs. I've been unemployed and I've also had a great deal of success. I also have cancer. My advice to you:

1. Trust in the Lord Jesus with all your heart. (Proverbs 3:5 and 6)

2. Take a job, any job, even if you are over-qualified. You have to start over somewhere.

3. When you start bringing home a paycheck, tithe 10% to your local church. I know it sounds silly, but when you tithe, financial blessings follow. ( Malachi 3:10 ) God does not need your money, but you need to be blessed.

4. If you are a member of a church, let your brothers and sisters know what is going on. Not only will the power of prayer impact the situation, but they will also be on the lookout for opportunities for you.

5. Lastly, be encouraged, you will make it through this time of trial.
Don't give up, be determined.

God bless you!

Answer 8

This is the most honest and probably completely unanswerable question I have ever seen here on yahoo.
So first I will say "I don't know". Second I will say I hope your situation improves. Then I can only tell you what I have gone through. That is..from absolute financial prosperity to ruin. And years later making my way back again.
I believe that God tests us in the ways that we need to be tested in order to help shape us in the way we eventually need to become. Since we lack future vision of ourselves and the world, we are confused at the time we are tested but later on gain 20/20 hindsight. So I am left only with a Biblical type answer to you. "This too shall pass". And the parental answer: "You will understand later in life". Understanding that neither of these suffice for the here and now I encourage you to charge forward into your problems and take God with you!

Answer 9

Sorry to bring you bad news. There is no deity that looks after our welfare. We are the only ones responsible for our lifes. All monoteist religions have the problem of the only God beeing responsible for everything. That is wrong, as I see it.
Do not despair. You were born naked and now you have at least the clothes you wear. Take whatever job you can find and wait for the good times. They will come. Eventualy.

Answer 10

Well, this life is a test, its a test of character , you have to keep going but same time be realistic, take any job which comes ur way, age does matter a lot these days, speacially in the working industry, u have to keep trying ur best so then at least you can say tried everything in ur power to do what u wanted to, think positive and keep going, have the NEVER GIVE UP attitude.