mother troubles?

Question

So i have been trying to gradually separate myself from my mom, just a little. I am 15 and we have been close forever, but i need my space. However, whenever i try to pull away she gets mad and tries to cling even more. I really don't want to tell her i am trying to separate, but i feel she is being irrational. I just want some space, but she is making it so difficult. Please help me do this gently, i don't want to hurt her or make a thing of this.

So i spoke to her about this and she received it in a big way. She has puled away completely, but doesn't seem happy, which is expected i guess. I feel like crap for doing this to her, but i needed to and i know its the right thing, so why am i so upset?

Answer 1

A friend once told me this saying: A son is a son, till he takes himself a wife, a daughter is a daughter, all of her life". I was close to my mom, especially as I became an adult. Mom's and daughter's have (usually) a pretty good, close relationship. You are at the age and stage that she may be concerned that you are pulling away (trying to) too quickly for her. Please, sit down and have a talk with her. See where she is coming from. Several years ago, my former pastor in his preaching, talked of the mama eagle, how when it is time for the young to leave the next, she pulls all the soft stuff out, leaving it uncomfortable, the eaglets then want to leave. It sounds like you are experiencing the normal wanting more independance thing, while your mom is wanting the closeness to not go completely away. Communication is vitally important-in all relationships. Maybe you could talk with her about having "special" time with her once a week-go out to lunch together, and talk with each other, how each one's week has been going, etc. She is realizing you are growing up, and in the next few years will be leaving home. I think she also wants you to know she will be there for you, and will be now as well. I wish you both the best. Take care.

Answer 2

Tell her you love her and your feelings for her havent changed but that you are getting older, and in getting older, you need space. Tell her you are not making a thing out of it and that you are not doing this to hurt her feelings. Tell her you love her and give her a big hug.

Answer 3

Trust me when your grown you will defintly wish you had mom.
My mom passed recently and I wish to god I would have spent more time with her/ the really sad part is, all she ever wanted was to spend time with me. I thought I had a lifetime to do that and she could waite, she was only 54yrs old. If I had it to do all over again I would have spent alot more time with mom.

Answer 4

I AM A MOTHER OF 4 AND 1 OF THEM IS 17. I THINK
YOU SHOULD GET HER TO SIT DOWN WITH YOU AND
TELL HER THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS
TALK ON SOMETHING THAT IS REALLY BOTHERING
YOU. THAT IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TALK
TO HER AND BE SOMEWHAT OPEN WITH HER. YOU
DO NOT WANT TO LOOSE THAT LINE OF COMM-
UNICATION. YOU MIGHT NOT NEED HER TO LISTEN
AT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE GOING ON RIGHT NOW,
BUT YOU WILL NEED HER LATER.. BE OPEN AND
HONEST. SHE WILL APPRECIATE THAT. ATLEAST
I WOULD......

Answer 5

Honey, sit down and talk to her. As a mom myself I see my girls getting older and I try to shelter them as I do not want them to grow up. I know it sounds stupid, by mother's are not perfect and when we see our child growing up we just want to hold on to them.

Answer 6

just tell her you need your space and see if she understands if she doesn't tell her your going out with some friends and really do go see your friends they probably know u better than i do.

Answer 7

when she pulls give in, you be the clingy one, let her see how it feels. next thing you know she'll be the one pushing you away!

Answer 8

explain to her how you feel. be honest. you haven't told her your wishes, you just pull away from her. she will understand...talk to her..