arguments. What do you think of the babys name having the mothers second name and not the fathers? We are together. xx
2007-05-09 11:01:03 · 26 answers · asked by meoi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If your boyfriend wants the baby to have his name, he should marry you.
If you don't want to marry the boyfriend, then give the baby YOUR name, because you're going to have custody after you and boyfriend break up.
2007-05-09 11:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it's a boy, I can see why he has a problem with it.....carrying on the family name, etc. That said, you guys aren't married so I think you can name him what you like but if you are together, then it should be a compromise. What is your reason for not having the baby take the fathers name, as is tradition? Do you want to hyphenate it? Or perhaps give your last name as the babys middle name - I know that is done in some cultures......
2007-05-09 18:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The baby is as much your child as s/he is your bf's child. So, you have equal rights to input on what name the child will be given. Finding a way to negotiate with one another and to compromise in the child's "best interest" is a technique that will take you very far as you raise the child together.
Stemming from times when women & children were considered to be a man's "property," women took the man's name, as did the children. Times are changing. More married women are choosing not to change their names and more people who are not legally married are having children. So, the tradition of a child being given the father's name is becoming outdated, especially knowing that a name can be a significant symbol of family connectedness. Children do best when they feel connected to both parents.
More couples with different last names are giving their child both last names. I think it's a good idea because as the child is at the age where s/he learns his/her own name and hears friends and schoolmates' names matching their parents' names, s/he might feel more secure having both parents' names.
2007-05-09 18:20:19 · answer #3 · answered by livingwell 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An argument that is on your side if you aren't married to the other is that if the baby has your last name it is easier for you to take him/her to the docter/e-room, etc. Plus you're the primary responsible person for the child (you'll claim the child on your taxes unless you marry the guy). You have the final say of what goes on the birth certificate. Tell your man that if you guys get married then you'll change the baby's last name. If that doesn't work- hyphenat the baby's last name with your last name then the father's last name.
2007-05-09 18:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by minalerie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to consider why it is that for some reason you do not want the baby to have his or her fathers name. I think for the child's sake it is only fair that it shares its parent's anem sake. Hyphenating the name is one way to do that or perhaps having their middle name be one or the others. If you were married, the child would have the father's last name and there may actually be some legal benefits down the road to having the father's name. That may be something to consider before making a permanent decision.
2007-05-09 18:08:42 · answer #5 · answered by kathleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the two of you discussed it and agreed with it I don't see the problem. If not then may try using both of your names to come of with one name for the baby. You can just not use neither name and try to compromise using another.
2007-05-09 18:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Ice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the mother, unless you are married, you get the final decision. But it would be nice if you did something like YourName - HisName, just so you don't get in a fight. But if you guys break up, I doubt you are going to want your baby to bear his name. So, I would go with you last name, and tell him the reasons I gave you.
2007-05-09 18:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by I Don't Take Your Crap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's ok! You are not married you have the right to choose your baby's last name. When and if you and your boyfriend get married you and the baby can both take his name at that point.
2007-05-09 18:05:47 · answer #8 · answered by Vintage Glamour 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you both okay with it? As long as you and your boyfriend can come to an agreement, then it should be fine. I know a few people who have chosen for their child to have the mother's last name.
2007-05-09 18:07:31 · answer #9 · answered by RaeLynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its kind of up to you I gess, but for the last 2000 years at least, it has been the done thing to name after the father. For a lot of men it is their purpose in life to keep their name and bloodline intact, you are dealing him one hell of a blow from that perspective.
I know i generalized, blah blah.
2007-05-09 18:07:00 · answer #10 · answered by Link , Padawan of Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋