I feel like he does not care about me and thinks I can just be used, and that is why he wants me to do this. He says that it has nothing to do with love it is just sex and he wants to get it out of his system before we get married. Should I go thru with it?
2007-05-09 10:15:35 · 88 answers · asked by birdsong1979 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
a lot of guys have this fantasy, although most probably wouldn't admit it. he isn't using you, althought it may feel like he is. he probably just wants you to know that he loves you so much that he wants to see you enjoy yourself and live life to the fullest. it is only wrong if you did it behind his back. he wants you to enjoy yourself to the fullest, because this may be the only life you have. with a lot of guys that have this fantasy, they want to feel dominated by a woman and may not feel entirly adequate in the sack, and although he know you love him very much, he may not feel that you are getting off to the fullest. he also may feel that he may learn by watching a guy who may know more about how to please a woman than he does and he may learn new techniques. also, if your relationship has gotten a little routine, he may want to see the expressions on your face that you used to have when you too first got intimate. for a lot of couples that are into this type of thing, believe it or not, it brings them closer together.
2007-05-09 10:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
YEs it is wrong and he is been a voyour and is making you have sex with other guys. SO how do you feel been humiliated and used like this. What makes you think he will marry you now and if he does he will probably make you do the same thing too even after he says he wants to get it out of his system. But it won't get out of his system because if he could he would have stopped a long time ago. SO either live with it or drop him and move on. Because you shouldn't have to do that for him or anybody else. You should always respect yourself too.
2007-05-09 10:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong. Everyone has different things, you can't judge someones little vices as right or wrong.
That kind of sexual exploration and be fun and bonding. I've known a few couples that have done stuff like that and things are great with them. Just because you sex life doesn't fit into to the normal nightly missionary sex it doesn't mean it's wrong. Just do what you want to do, if you don't want to have sex with another guy then don't... but if you do, then embrace it and don't worry about what's wrong or right.
2007-05-09 10:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by MyPUA 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your boyfriends fetish aside, there is one point of view worth mentioning:
He doesn't own you. You don't own him. Perhaps this whole discussion would have a different flavor if there wasn't a cultural view that says that married people possess or otherwise should control one another.
There is the point of view that says that nobody owns anyone else and that therefore there is no need to possess or fear of loss. Sexuality could be viewed as something each of us deserve for ourselves and that infidelity need not jeopardize a relationship.
Of course, you should not do anything that you do not want to do.
And you might not want to assume that he doesn't care for you, or what his feelings really are.
I recommend that you two talk it over. If this is really something that gets him hot, you two may have to face that there is no "getting it out of his system" and that it will continue. If this is not acceptable to you, then you two better start to talk about your long term plans.
Any relationship is really meaningless, except for the conscious choice that each of us makes every day to be with our partner. No marriage license, religious ceremony, child or common possessions are nearly as important as each person continuing to choose each other.
2007-05-09 10:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by shaymana 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should go thru with anything that makes you uncomfortable. If he loves you enough then he will respect your decision. Everyone has some sexual fantasies, his is a little far-fetched, enough to make you uncomfortable at least. Talk it through with him, let him know exactly how you feel. A husband should always put his wife first before himself. If all else fails, then ask him to put on a mask and make love in front of a mirror, then its kinda like watching another person i guess... Good Luck!
2007-05-09 10:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by Dennis 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should pay more attention to your feelings. If he truly cared, then he wouldn't pressure you and he would have dropped the idea the minute he realized you were uncomfortable with it. Also, if it's you that he wants to marry then why would he want to share something that is "just sex" with you. You need to make it clear that he can't have things both ways. Maybe what he needs to get out of his system is you!
2007-05-09 10:25:14 · answer #6 · answered by sophierhymes 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YES!!! Break off the engagement and tell your parents why. He should not be able to see you leave because of the smoke your tires make as you peel out of the driveway!! Hon, it doesn't matter if it is watching you with someone else, going to a strip club, or ogling other girls. He does not respect you. He does not love you. He does not have what it takes to be a husband. He is a little boy, playing with a toy, and he is too fond of sharing. He needs help.
God bless you.
2007-05-09 11:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by 6angelsmama 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
And you are right. He doesn't care for you. You are his toy, nothing more. A man who is marriage minded doesn't act like this. Next time no sex until you are married. Makes all the difference in the world. A man who cares about his woman's reputation does everything he can to keep it clean, even waits until their wedding night to have sex. Same goes for a woman who cares about her man.
2007-05-09 10:21:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have been married three times and I would not have shared any of my three wives with anyone at any time. It's not right. You need to either tell him a flat no or don't tell him anything and just leave him. Get it out of his system. Get what out of his system. He could also be testing you to see if you would do it and then once you do, break up with you.
2007-05-11 09:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by golden rider 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No do not go through with it!!! If he wants to share you he is not the right guy for you. Never do what a guy wants you to do...and if he asks he is not very trustworthy and he doesn't care about you enough to protect you. If he wants to watch another guy have sex with you he might be bisexual also. be careful and don't let him pressure you. Maybe it is also time to move on to a better guy who doesn't expect you to do anything he says
2007-05-09 10:25:33 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋