Say your sitting there with two guys talking. They are friends. One is your brother. The other one is his bud. You never see them except when they are together and your not one on one friends. Your brother leaves the room. The friend plants wet kiss dead on the lips and you sit there frozen not knowing what to do. When your brother comes in you just forget it. Later that night you go to bed in the next room. In the morning you wake up and your long shirt is completely unbuttoned and opened all the way. Do you call the cops or what?
2007-05-09 10:14:15 · 23 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Since when can people plant kisses on other people in the lips without asking any permission or checking in. I think THATS freaky plus it was totally inapropriate and that to me is a big deal. I am creeped out by people whoi dont ask permission...parents? I was 36 at the time, brother was 32, 'friend' was 23...
2007-05-09 10:19:55 · update #1
I did tell my brother and he didnt believe me! They were bi too. He totally took the friends side. I havent spoken to him since. Also my little boy was 4 at the time and in the next room. If I LIKED it, I wouldnt have sat there frozen. Also, he should have asked first
2007-05-09 10:24:28 · update #2
Sexual Assault by definition is ANY UNWANTED sexual contact. Period. I feel for you if you are walking around thinking anything different than that. Rape is defined by actual penetration.
2007-05-09 10:27:55 · update #3
OH Well. I hate them and never talked to either one of them ever again. My brother was a traitor and the guy was a pervert and I know that for a fact. My brother should have totally been there for me and if not for me at least even for his nephew in the next room. What a traitor.
2007-05-09 10:41:50 · update #4
I dont know how he got away with the shirt thing. He must have been stealth. They were intoxicated. I wasn't so I should remember but I never felt a thing so he must have done the buttons and sat there loooking or something. lol. how stupid
2007-05-09 15:30:34 · update #5
Tell your parents. Talk to your brother. Was everything else the way it was supposed to be? Were you intoxicated or anything like that? I don't ask to say that you in any way are responsible, please don't misunderstand. Just trying to figure out how he unbuttoned your shirt w/o you knowing. If you think you were raped, go to the doctor right away. There are tests that need to be done. Have the doctor help you call the police. Please don't be silent. Guys like this are almost NEVER single time offenders.
BTW it is not your fault. Don't know who creepy is up there on the answers board, but doesn't sound like you said "Yes" to me!
God bless.
2007-05-09 11:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by 6angelsmama 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't necessarily call the cops about the kiss, but the fact that you woke up unclothed is very disturbing. It indicates that the guy may have molested you while you were asleep, and that's really f***ed up.
Remember, many people interpret silence as approval or permission, so you need to be clear about what you feel. If you don't like it, then just say something to him.
Right now, you should tell your brother what happened, and let him know that friend is never allowed in your house again. Have him tell the friend that you are horrified by what he did, and that if he ever approaches you again you will have him arrested. Then document everything, with times and locations. I don't think you have enough proof to call the cops on him yet, but if you document it now you'll have evidence for any future offense.
In the future, you should remind yourself to always say something (like "no" or "don't" or "keep off of me" or "I don't want you doing that") instead of freezing up. Come up with a list of verbal or physical responses to sexually aggressive moves, so that you won't freeze trying to think of what to say/do, you can just burst out with your defense.
2007-05-09 10:24:01 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
YES!!!! I would first go to your brother. Big brothers have an innate desire to protect their sisters. He will probably be mortified that he even had a friend that would do such a thing and will do everything he can to support you in resolving the situation.
But something needs to be done legally. Even though it may seem like a little thing "oh well he didn't really hurt me" or "it wasn't rape", a guy who would do that most likely will have other tendencies and might really hurt the next girl. You as a woman have the responsibility to protect your fellow sisters from such a person!!
2007-05-09 10:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sexual assault is by definition penetration. You should have gone to the hospital and reported what happened. At that point the police would have been called in and they would be talking to your brother in a matter of minutes. I guarantee you if the 23 year old were 15 you could have been brought up on charges. I wish that you would reconsider your position and be more careful in the future.
2007-05-09 10:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by green3ch 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi the shirt thing is no really proof, you were upset and who
knows what you were dreaming of. As for the kiss, while it is
legally a sexual assault. slapping him upside the face would also be an assault, But it sure sends a clearer message some people still figure nothing ventured nothing gained and
the risk is worth he reward.
2007-05-09 10:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by wise old sage 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This can be very touchy ground, how old is the bud and did you actually see, feel or touch him or see him unbuttoning your shirt during the night. If not and you do not know directly it was him then you have no case. If you have a way to lock your door at night do so for your protection, better to be warned and act then to be a victum with no voice.
2007-05-09 10:19:19 · answer #6 · answered by Emily M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why was your long shirt unbuttoned? Who did it? If not the friend of your brother, then you can't really call the cops when your shirt is open. You can't call the cops for a wet kiss either. Why not tell your parents or a teacher or some other adult.
2007-05-09 10:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by Peaches 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It could be sexual assault. Do you have any memory of anything happening? I would tell him to stop it or charges will be laid. This is not ok. Or, it could be that you moved a lot and the movement while asleep opened the buttons of the shirt. Lock the door when you go to bed.
2007-05-09 10:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by judirose2001 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, but if you really want him to stop I would tell your brother. Or tell a friend to "accidently tell him". This is quite serious and you shouldn't have to go in bed in fear, or wake up thinking "what happened this time when I was asleep"
Hope all goes well xx
2007-05-09 10:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People kiss people all the time without asking. Its not a big deal unless you are with someone. Sometimes you just want to see the reaction to see if you like him. Dont make it a big deal. Just tell that guy that it was not cool.
2007-05-09 10:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by Chris F 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋