8 Yr old son embarrassed of my boyfriend.. need advice!?

Question

I have been w/ my bf now for 2 years.. my kids love him... he is african american.. my kids are white/hispanic... This morning my boyfriend went to drop my 8yr old off at school, and asked if he needed help getting his project out of the trunk. My son told him no. To make a long story short.. my son said it was because he is brown. My son is very bright and outspoken... I need advice on how to approach him on this. Thanks!

We live together.. and I do speak w/ him about racism and how it's wrong. That everyone is different.

Answer 1

you can not teach your son to like the BF. If he sleeps with you and the son sees him in the morning, then there may be jealousy. You need to chose if you want to be a good mom, or have a boyfriend.

You son will resent any boyfriend as long as you are not married to him.

It does not matter what color your BF is, that was just his way to cover for the fact that you are sleeping with the enemy.

edit: Is this the oldest boy? What is the relationship of the father? Where is the father?

Answer 2

my daughter was the same way with my husband. we are black and my husband is hispanic. she didn't want him dropping her off at school or picking her up. most of it was due to the fact that the other kids made a big deal out of it. he's hispanic but looks white. when she asked me if i could pick her up from school all the time instead of dad (cause she calls him dad-we've been together for three years) i sensed that she was embarrassed and just simply asked her what it was about him that made her feel that way. when she explained how that the other kids reaction had a lot to do with it i simply asked her if what she felt about dad was more important to her than how the other kids felt and talked with her about ways to live above the influence. now when she gets questions like how come your dad is white or how is that you have a white dad and your black she simply tells them that God decided to add a little color to their family with a smile.

Answer 3

Sounds like kids at school have been giving him flack about his mother's boyfriend. My sister is married to a black man and they don't come much whiter (skinned that is) than my sister. One day as the school bus pulled up in front of my sister's home a boy on the bus asked my niece who the woman standing in her front yard was and of course my niece said "My mom". The boy then said "Oh you were adopted by a white family?" My niece said no, that's my biological mom, the boy told her it was impossible because my sister was white and my niece is far from light skinned.
I wouldn't fault you son, he is simply trying to fit in with his peers who are obvioulsy racists. I think now is the time to sit him down and talk to him about tolerance.

Answer 4

I don't think your son is racist. You say your kids love your boyfriend. Perhaps your son was worried how he would explain who your boyfriend is. Maybe he's afraid that other children would tease him that your boyfriend is not his father or even that the other children would tease him for racist reasons. I think you and your boyfriend should talk to your son and find out what's up and then help him figure out how to handle the situation: if someone says X, you can tell him to go Y . . . :o)

Answer 5

well if your son isn't learning this at your home then he must be learning it at school. He has to be learning it from somewhere and someone. I would even go as far as talk to the teacher at his school

Answer 6

Agree with Enviro Du.

Answer 7

your son sounds rasist. teach him now that color doesnt matter and he shouldnt say things like that. it could hurt feelings. he could do it to people in the future if you dont teach him now that its wrong. sit him down and talk to him.