My daughter's father hasn't seen her in over 5 months. He doesn't call or anything. I need help paying for childcare, so I applied for child care assistance;but in order to recieve any assistance, i have to put her father on child support. I really don't want to because i dont want him to have anything to do with her...
2007-05-09 08:21:49 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I work in a law firm and our clients ask this all the time. To be honest your babys father (if he is on the birth certificate) can see the child whenever he wants. He can even pick the child up from daycare without you and keep her unless you have filed with the court and have paperwork showing that you are the custodial parent.
If you do this though he is probably going to have visitations. And it is more illegal for you to withold the child than it is for him not to give you any money at all. It sucks being the mother. I know because I am also a single parent who went through the same thing for almost 5 years. And I also just got on the assistance for child care.
No matter what you do, since he is the father he will always have rights to see your daughter unless he signs his rights away or you somehow terminate his rights. Do you think he would sign her away? Also you can re-marry and have your new husband adopt. There are a few things you can do but you are gonna need an attorney... Any chance you live in the Houston, Texas area?
2007-05-09 08:50:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In most states, child support and visitation are two seperate issues. Meaning that just because a man pays child support, doesn't mean he automatically gets visitation and just because a woman doesn't get child support doesn't mean she can withhold visitation. Most of the time, if a man pays child support, he will get visitation. Unless he is proven to be unfit or unsafe that is.
Even if he hasn't seen your child in over 5 months, he could still take it upon himself to get visitation. Now, he would probably also be ordered to pay child support. The reason that you are having to provide his information in order to be eligible for public assistance, is pretty simple. Why should the tax payers be financially responsible for his child?? The state shouldn't pick up the tab for his kid, just because he can't be a man and do it himself. This is basically their way of forcing him to be financially responsible for his kid.
2007-05-09 14:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, let me start off by saying that I'm totally for children being loved by both a mommy and a daddy. I totally hate the fighting that goes on through the courts. It hurts the kids, and you and everyone else is bound with chains to the legal system. With that said, let me give you my answer :P
My guess is that you two have a "you leave me alone, I leave you alone" agreement when you broke up?
If he gets turned into Child support agency. He gets served, It goes to court, they set up his visitation and child support orders. Since child support is determined by how much you and him both make and the number times he sees the child. The courts will set up his visitation schedule in order to determine his child support. (The standard visitation is: joint legal and physical custody, every other weekend, rotating holidays)
It might be better for "yours' and his" agreement if you just told Childcare you really don't know who the father is, you had a one night stand in Paris (hehe), and latched on to him. You know that it was wrong and you don't want it pursued.
Then you'll have child care, he'll be in la la-land like always. and when someone who does love your daughter comes along, he can easily adopt her.
2007-05-09 09:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by Douglas G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that there maybe some bad blood between the both of you but I believe that even with that the father has some rights. If he is paying child support and wants to have some type of relationship with his daughter it should be allowed. However, if there is a problem with her being endanger or with her welfare, then no, he should not be inclusive. However, you can establish custody of your own child by going to court and then setting up visitation rights for him in a control, public environment with established times for him to come and visit and to return her. Out of your own angst, don't keep her from seeing him but if he is hurtful or harmful, then by every means, utilize the court system to get established regular payments, custody of your daughter and vistation or non-vistation rights established.
2007-05-09 08:32:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter's father has to pay child support, even if he is not legally allowed to see her (say, if he is a bad guy..etc. and a judge orders this). A judge can/will determine custody and visitation rights for your daughter. If your daughters father has the ability to be a good father to your daughter, you should put your differences aside and encourage them to have a loving relationship. However, if this guy is a criminal or abusive, etc, then you will need to bring this up at a custody/ visitation hearing.
2007-05-09 08:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by quirky 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You would have to work out visitation rights in court--such as, perhaps, she'd be with him every other weekend and a one dinner a week.
Even though you may not like your daughter's father, SHE NEEDS TO SEE HIM. The affects on a child of not seeing her father is very negative. Don't make it hard for him to see her unless you feel that her SAFETY is at risk. She NEEDS to see him. Put aside your personal feelings for the man and allow him to see your daughter, visitation rights or not. She needs to grow up knowing her dad.
2007-05-09 08:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by Earnesty_in_life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wouldn't have the right to go and see her whenever he wanted, but you would have to go to court and work out a visitation agreement if he in fact did want to see her. It sounds like he really doesn't care so most likely he won't want to see her, but he also probably won't pay the child support either. They'll probably end up garnishing his wages. Good Luck to you, I hope you get your money and that the low-life stays away from you and your daughter.
2007-05-09 08:29:16 · answer #7 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're very right... If you put him on child support he has every right to walk in and out of her life as he pleases. This will only confuse and harm your child emotionally. I respect women like you greatly. Women who decide to go on with the lives of themselves and their child(ren) without the help from their fathers. There should be more women like you in this world, instead of bitter, heartbroken, vengeful women who only seek to hurt, and gain vengeance from their ex's by taking them to court for child support. You are one of the smart ones that puts their child first. I know life can get hard but for the sake of your child's emotional well being you have to try every possible way you can to stay away from putting your ex on child support. Maybe you can try to get a small second job, or maybe a family member is willing to help you in return for helping them around the house, etc.
2007-05-09 10:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by Just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all child support is , is that he has to pay money in order to help you raise the child. He has no right to visit her though he might want to. If he does he must go to family court in order to make you let him see her
2007-05-09 08:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by a person 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't come and take her whenever he wants, but he can get visitation whether he pays child support or not. There is no way to keep him out of your child's life except if you can get him to sign over his rights. If he does that you won't get child support anyway.
2007-05-09 08:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by lostsoulstav 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋