I really like this 25 year old guy and I am 18 and a senior in high school. He is a really sweet guy and he graduated from college a little while ago and now subs but is not a full-fledged teacher yet. My parents seem to think that he has problems because he wants to date an 18 yr old. I don't see why it should matter. He is genuinely a nice guy (and extremely gorgeous) and i really want to be able to hang out with him. Who is right here, my parents or me?
2007-05-09 06:44:48 · 18 answers · asked by Bethany 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are so many people who will give dating guys older than you a bad rap. Part of protecting yourself is being realistic and having a good judge of character. However, just because you think he's the greatest doesn't mean that he's not a lying scoundrel who will leave you wondering "but I thought he really liked me!".
I say love is blind as well, and that age is just a number, but what it really comes down to is, are you both on the same page and at the same stage in life. This is where timing plays a big part. You still need to go to college and develop into the woman you are going to become. Do as you wish, but if it's going to last, you need to both be on the same path, or close to it.
Good luck!
2007-05-09 06:54:11 · answer #1 · answered by Peter N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See, I'm looking at it as, you are 18 and he is 25.. thats a big gap. But lets fast forward a few years you are 42 and he is 49, doesn't sound so bad anymore now does it?
Your parents are right in the aspect that they are just worried about you and don't want a man to take advantage of a little girl. Espically a man who has so much life experience.
But love is blind and knows no age OR color.
But just get to know him, don't rush into this, he is a lot older and it will be very different from every other relationship you guys have had. My boyfriend and I are only a few years apart, I was in high school and he was in college and while I was going through things, he already went through them so he wasn't there the way I needed to be because for him it was no big deal.
It was hard work, but we worked through it. Just take your time because this relationship will be A LOT more mature then your other relationships.
Let your parents get to know him, and if you don't rush into things, by the time you guys are ready for a relationship, then your parents should trust him a lot more. Just make sure your parents know that he isn't going to "hit it and quit it" like they are assuming.
They just want what is best for you. SO just show them he is that genuinely nice guy!!
2007-05-09 13:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is your pickle. On one hand, you are 18 and can date the 25 year old guy and there is nothing your parents can legally do to stop you. On the other hand, you run the risk of alienating your parents. If you have to pick between the guy and the parents, then you really should choose the parents. The guy may not work out, but parents are forever.
The best thing you can do is discuss your feelings for the guy. A seven year age difference isn't that much. Of course any older and you run the risk of generational issues coming to play. Just fill them in on the what you two are doing and make them know you are being a responsible partner in the relationship should you decide to persue one with the guy.
2007-05-09 13:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by davester1970 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend was a little old for me when we started dating. I was 17 and he was 22. Yeah, my dad tried to say there was something wrong with him, but five years later, he's done more than prove himself and has become a part of my family. Besides, your guy sounds like he's got it together. You're 18 years old which means that if you live in the U.S., you're an adult and can date whoever you want. Your parents are just going to have to deal with it because it's not for them to decide anymore. They need to be more supportive of you, anway. Besides, it's not like you're dating a guy in prison, or a drug dealer, or a pedophile, or a loser who doesn't work at all. Good luck to you.
P.S. I examined your question a little better. Which grades does he sub for? If he teaches high school, I would re-think this. If he has been your sub before, this isn't good. Teachers are in schools to educate, mentor and protect children, not date them. If he's into you because he likes his students, stay away from him.
2007-05-09 13:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by short 'n sweet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is right...but no one is wrong either. Your parents are just trying to look out for you while you are just trying to follow your feelings about this guy.
The point that your parents are trying to make is that you really need to play it safe. Get to know this guy really well before you decide to be in a full fledge relationship with him. Even though you probably don't want to, take baby steps and don't rush anything. Focus on finding out what he's looking for right now...and don't settle for "love, respect, blah blah blah"...get REAL, in depth answers if you are truly interested in him. Use your best judgment and be smart about your decisions. If you feel in your gut that something's not right, you're probably correct. Good luck!
2007-05-09 14:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think age matters here bc you graduate soon and you are an adult now. 7 years is nothing, Honestly too much of a difference for me to consider but i see no problem with others doing it. See if he were 23 and you 16, id say no way.
2007-05-09 13:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by Kara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u and ur parents
a lot of parents don't like alot of guys cause they dont want to let their children go for some odd reason. but put yourself in their shoes look at it from their perspective and that's when u come to think he is really the guy for me. talk to ur parents about it let them know how u feel about him. and possibly listen to what they have to say. it may come in handy one day. or with a guy maybe this one. but just sit and talk that's the best thing u can do to make then feel more comfortable with him and u together and u feel more comfortable with ur parents and him like for example u take him to eat with ur parents and they don't like they will criticize him but if u talk to him and them then maybe they will change their mind about the whole situation
trust me this happened to me before and it really helped
2007-05-09 13:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are, but make sure your careful. My cousin is about 29 or so, and he's dating like a 19 year old. And I know for sure that he has good intentions, but still, you should watch it. You never know how people could really be.
2007-05-09 13:53:45 · answer #8 · answered by ♥KP♥MH♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol I was 33 and interested in an 18 year old so of course my answer would be no. Her dad didn't see things the same way tho lol. Either way it didn't work due to her immaturity. Not saying that you are. But she was.
2007-05-09 13:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What makes you think that he would even want to hang out with you...he prolly screws every 18 year old in his classes....you would just be another student
2007-05-09 13:51:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋