What is a good bedtime for a 9 yr. old boy?

Question

My stepson is 9 and in the third grade. Me and my husband are having differences when it comes to his bedtime. My husband has let my stepson be his "friend" all these years and now it is becoming a problem because he needs to be his parent more so. Please give me advice on what would be a good and reasonable time nowadays for him to go to bed. Thanks.

Answer 1

It is very difficult being a stepparent and setting rules for a child who has been allowed to do as he pleases because the other parent wanted to be his friend instead of the parent from the beginning.

At any rate, this is just one of the many battles that you and your husband will face regarding rules and regulations for your step-son. Your husband will always try and be his freind, so the child will not be upset with him. This is dangerous because little nine year old boys grow up to be men.

With that said, every child needs atleast ten hours of sleep each night. If your step-son got into the routine of a nightly schedule. Say for instance your step son has to be at school at 8:00 a.m. he would go to bed at 9:00 p.m and get up at 7:00 a.m. and have breakfast and get ready for school.
He'll have a daily routine: After school, he comes home, does his homework and plays, eats dinner but by a certain time, say 7:30 p.m. he's in the bath an no later than 8:00 p.m. ready for bed. Do this for a while and see how it goes. Each time it's hard to wake him up each morning, take away thirty minutes at night and have him go to bed thirty minutes before time. This will show your husband that the child needs rest for school.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm a mother of 3 (ages 6, 9, and 11)

Bedtime in our house during a school night is 8:30 - no its ands or buts about it!!

The 9 and 11 year old are allowed to stay up latter (like till about 9:30) as long as they are doing something independently and quietly in bed - like reading a book, or looking at their soccer cards - if not lights go out.

Fri. and Saturday I will let they stay up an extra hour.

Now that your step-son is 9 and has not had a consistent bedtime or at least a bedtime routine it will be difficult for him to get use to this; So. . .
Be strong, firm and consistent and make sure your partner is on the same page with this or it will take forever.

Answer 3

I can so relate to this... I have an 8 year old and have been more like friends with him then a parent until now when he has been acting out... But back to your question.... My son goes to bed at 8:30 and he usually gets up around 6:30 or 7:00... If he has got his chores done, homework, and has been a good boy sometimes he gets the treat of staying up til 9:00... He does have a tv in his room though, but when he is laying in bed it has to be regular tv that he watches not cartoons.

Answer 4

Depending on your lifestyle, I would just make sure he gets between 8 and 10 hours of sleep every night. If he gets up at 6 am for school, put him to bed between 8 and 10 pm every night, if he gets up at 5, between 8 and 9 pm (I wouldn't say any earlier than 8, because children need some down time with their family, and between school, after school activities, homework, and dinner, there's not a lot of time just to relax and spend time together having fun. I'd also say no later than 10, although my preference would be 9 pm. My daughter is 4, and her bedtime is at 8 pm. It'll stay that way until she has a larger homework load (between 4th and 5th grade probably) and if she can handle a later bedtime, shell get to stay up till 9 pm. It's great that you consider your options and ask for advice to make a decision for your child. Kudos for being a good, concerned mom!

Answer 5

It really depends on the child if they are easily to get up in the morning. I have 2 children ages 7 and 11 for years their bedtime has been 8:30 but they get to stay up till 9 lately. It doesn't bother me if they get up in the morning in time to be ready for school and more importantly rested and not grouchy

Answer 6

It depends on what time he needs to get up in the morning to get ready for school. I have a nine year old as well and on the weekdays, we make him go to bed by 9pm at the latest and he gets up in the morning between 6:30am and 7am. On the weekends, or days there is no school, like vacations, we let him stay up later unless we have to get up early for something. I personally like the 9pm bedtime, because, it's early enough to allow plenty of rest for his growing body and yet it also helps make him feel like he's growing up and has some independence by being allowed to stay up later than his younger sisters, who go to bed at 7pm. Good luck with your stepson.

Answer 7

I always had a bed time of 9 o'clock except during the summer and on weekends.
My kids go to be when I do - I know they sleep with me and they are spoiled but I don 't think they will still be that way when they are 16. I wish we could all go to bed at 9:00. Good luck.

Answer 8

Bedtimes should be based on schedule. When does he need to wake up?

He should be given 9 hours to sleep (which means send him to bed 10 hours before he should wake up so that he actually sleeps 9 hours). So if he needs to be up at 7am, then 9pm is a good bedtime. et al.

Answer 9

For a 9 year old.... well thats when they start to feel like there a grown up. O h and they have girlfriends / boyfriends at that age , what i do is i treat them like a adult. my oldest son whos 10 , he gets fake money for doing chores other known as allowence...and if he tays up past his bedtime to watch something or just play then it is 3 dollars every hour. so if i gave him $10.00 a week in fake money minus 1 hour for 2 days he had stayed up longer... he only gets $4.00 bucks well he has smartened up .... in bed by 9:00p.m. and now he has over $100.00 witch he is going to use for anything he wants!!!

Answer 10

I think 9:30 is a good time. He can shower and read before that to start winding down. Your husband should start to notice he's happier and more rested in the morning. Not to mention, the two of you will be happier after having more time alone!