tell me jokes, i need good ones... before boredom kills...
2007-05-09 04:45:40 · 22 answers · asked by pmp 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Why did the baker have sh!t all over his fingers?
He kneaded a poo! lmao
2007-05-09 04:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Since it's R&S section.... and since Geezah forgot one, lol:
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: 'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl!'" The man says "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" says the man. "Oh, what are you then?" The man says "I am a Saudi!" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog!"
Hehehe, have a fun evening!
2007-05-10 11:10:45 · answer #2 · answered by hayaa_bi_taqwa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since this is the R&S section...
Why does the Pope wear gym shorts?
So that he doesn't have to look down upon the unemployed
Why couldn't Buddah vaccuum his couch?
He had no attachments
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They fall through the holes in his hands
What's the difference between a Mormon and a Baptist?
The Baptists actually make eye contact and say "Hello" when they run into each other at the liquor store.
What does the "INRI" at the top of the cross stand for?
Answer #1: "I'm Nailed Right In"
Answer #2: "I'm Now Really Itchy"
Answer #3: "I'm Not Really Immortal"
2007-05-09 04:52:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically
asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
2007-05-09 04:50:01 · answer #4 · answered by Red neck 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There was a guy who was married to Lorraine, but got tangled up in a steamy love affair with Clearly (her parents like to believe that they could see straight through her, even since the day she was born) but this lusting relatioship soon turned to love for both of them.
However, the guy still wanted to be with his wife, but loved Clearly. But, Lorraine soon found out about the affair from a friend.
She said, "It's over!" And she walked out.
He said, "I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."
2007-05-09 06:04:39 · answer #5 · answered by Cookie_Monster_UK 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
george bush dies and goes to hell the devil tells him i have to keep you but we have no room for you so here is what i will do i will show you 3 people and their jobs and you can choose which one you want to replace and that is the one you choose will be freed ok george agreed the first person the devil brings him to is richard nixon breaking rocks with a hammer all day george replies i can't do that i got arthritis the devil says ok the next one he meets is thomas jefferson and he is eating whole pineapples all day and george declines on releaving jefferson and the last person he comes to is bill clinton and he is lying on his back while monica lewinsky is doing what she does best george bush grins and says yea i'll replace bill the devil looks at him and says what do mean you'll replace bill monica is the one leaving the building
2007-05-09 04:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by giggles47532000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is Harper Lee's favorite drink?
Tequila Mockingbird
2007-05-09 05:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by Deof Movestofca 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I came across this old quote a few years ago, it always makes me laugh...
"Just because the cat had kittens in the oven, it don't make 'em biscuits!"
yeah...weird huh?!
2007-05-09 04:53:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's small, purple and dangerous?
A: A grape with a gun
My nephew told me that one yesterday.
2007-05-09 04:49:01 · answer #9 · answered by Cold Fart 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?...
Because she can't sit down...
My favorite kid joke...
2007-05-09 04:49:57 · answer #10 · answered by DontPanic 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yo momma so fat. [ I don't really mean it]
Buut.
Yo momma so fat she was in the Wal*Mart parking lot and her beeper went off and everyone yelled--
"Watch out she's backing out"...
o_O hahah.
Mmkay.Now.
2007-05-09 05:00:51 · answer #11 · answered by Heap 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋