1) Supposedly there is a god that wants you to GROVEL and SNIVEL before it.
2) However because of original sin humans are not worthy to GROVEL and SNIVEL to this god. Therefore if things remain unchanged god will TORTURE you forever. (So much for the groveling and sniveling.)
3) In order to fix this problem god decided to TORTURE his son for a few hours by arranging to have him killed by crucifixion and then bring him back as a ZOMBIE.
4) Since god has had his BLOODLUST sated he is now willing to not torture you forever provided you recognize that Jesus was tortured in your place. So you can actually spend all eternity bowed down GROVELING before this supposed god.
Lucky you!
2007-05-09 04:41:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Can I join the opposition to this god? Are they taking recruits?
2007-05-09 04:44:09 · answer #1 · answered by LabGrrl 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
a million. God loves us. 2. guy is sinful. 3. Jesus is the Savior 4. by Jesus we alter into children of God. i love those. right here's a series of four that I have realized and attempt to stay because of John 17:3. Honesty - no longer merely myself yet in each and every way particularly of lies or excuses - say - attending to artwork previous due telling the reality. Purity - To be without purpose except to be effective. this isn't gazing each and every thing as what i receives from it yet merely to make the international a more effective position. Unselfishness - very equivalent to the earth became the middle of the universe some hundred years in the past i realized that i became the middle of my universe - I have observed this in others too having been there and finished that - God is now middle no longer myself - Giving and under no circumstances getting - taking into consideration others no longer self - doing for others no longer in hassle-free words self. Love - Being variety, comfortable, being concerned, thoughtful, good, and giving.
2016-11-26 21:42:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
# 1 The Fool has said in His Heart there is no God;
Drifting down the stream of Time,not knowing and not caring where You go;But, when You reach your journey's end :Your Judgement will be stern,Because You chose the Path of no Return
2007-05-09 06:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by section hand 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Sums it up pretty succinctly, well done!
2007-05-09 12:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you groveling for us? How sweet!
Your hyperbole is SO cute.
2007-05-09 04:46:47 · answer #5 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
happy belated birthday!
2007-05-09 04:47:38 · answer #6 · answered by ddking37 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Very nice!
I'm book-marking this one...!
2007-05-09 07:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No body thinks you are fun and I hope you remember this when you are tormented.
2007-05-09 04:46:48 · answer #8 · answered by Theophilus 2 · 1⤊ 8⤋
it beats the Hell out of Hell.
2007-05-09 04:45:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Well done !!
2007-05-09 04:44:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋