Things started off great with my girlfriend of 2 yrs, now fiancee with a normal amount of romance for the beginning of a relationship. She is my best freind and I love her, but a few months into the relationship she became less and less interested in sex. We have only done it once or twice in the last year and it's driving me nuts. We have talked about it and she tells me she still loves me but no longer has a sex-drive. She has agreed to go to a therapist with me, but I am affraid this pattern will continue. I don't think I can live like this and regard intimacy to be an important part of a relationship. Any suggestions? Should I marry her?
2007-05-09 04:31:35 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
NO! It's only gonna get worse. Get couseling now and have her see a medical doctor about her libido. It is important.
2007-05-09 04:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I definitely think the two of you should see a therapist as this may help her understand why her sex drive is low. Women have times in their lives when the drive is low and it can last for a while. Wait and see the outcome of the therapy before you get married. Sex is not the reason you get married, but it is definitely a big part and you have to ask yourself if you love her enough to only get sex a few times a year. Do you think you need it more often and if you do it very well could lead you to cheating on her and you dont want that. Take some time before you go thru with the marriage.
2007-05-09 04:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definitely go to a therapist BEFORE you get married. If it doesn't look like something that can be resolved you may want to think about calling off the wedding or at least postponed. Intimacy is an extremely important part of a relationship! Is she on birth control??? Because I found that the pill drastically reduced my sex drive so I stopped taking it and it has come back.
2007-05-09 04:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by Cash, Gage and Jax's Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would see what comes out of the therapy, and maybe postpone the wedding for a while, i have to say sex isn't everything but it is an important factor in any relationship once or twice in a year is really not a healthy start for any marriage, and if it is really that important to you, and your feelings are strong (which it sounds like they are) then maybe marriage is not the right thing for you at this moment in time, maybe a little time out to think and put things into prospective, good luck i hope you get this resolved.
2007-05-11 12:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the intercourse has been great up so some distance, and it is unexpectedly lagged, i might say it is purely through stress. he's stressing himself out approximately his age, and stress is a romance killer. If he concept your pregnant physique became into unattractive, he would not have been having spectacular intercourse with you as much as month 8, so do not take it individually. i'm not a physician, besides the incontrovertible fact that it may be he's determining too a lot? maybe too skinny, or dropping too many electrolytes or something? Blood pass is a good sized element in sexual overall performance, and oftentimes exercising is stable for that, yet not if he's donning himself out? i might say drop the difficulty for now and concentration on the toddler. supply him familiar love and help, yet do not make a controversy of the intercourse difficulty. If it is nonetheless a difficulty in some months, ask him to work out a physician given which you're annoying approximately his wellbeing. Sexual illness may be be a symptom of alternative underlying wellbeing issues. stable success! And congrats on the toddler!
2016-12-11 04:38:27 · answer #5 · answered by bocklund 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to postpone the wedding until the two of you deal with this issue. See a therapist, a doctor, whoever you want. The two of you can spend the time working together to either fix the problem get you comfortable with not having sex--if you can't do one of those things, then don't re-set the date and don't marry.
This is not normal by the way. She may have a hormonal problem or she may actually not want to marry you and she's unconsciously trying to push you away. Whether it's mental or physical, you need to address what's behind it.
2007-05-09 06:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by lizzgeorge 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is she by any chance on the pill? I was and my sex drive was ruined, same thing as you guys, we only had sex every once in a while and everything. I finally went off about 4 months ago and we are like we were in High school again. But my poor husband lived with it for years not knowing what was wrong with me. It was the pill. If she is taking the pill this might be the problem, I would talk to her about it and have her speak to her Dr as well. Condoms are a small price to pay for the retun of intimacy.
Good luck
2007-05-09 04:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sex should come as a very natural thing. It comes from affection, touching, feeling and it is something that can't be forced even a therapist can't convince her to have sex with you more often. First I suggest you talk to her first about what you need. If she loves you very much, she will try to change herself. But you also have to be ready that if the worst comes to worst and she is not comfortable with sex, can you still love her without the sex part? Off course not asking yourself that question when you are in a horny mood and wanted sex badly. Can you masturbate yourself if she doesn't want sex? From a woman's opinion, we wanted to be respected and being used as a sex equipment is sometimes degrading to themselfs. So let sex comes from the feeling of love and you will feel how great it is.
2007-05-09 04:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by brain beauty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, most likely the pattern will continue, and no, you shouldn't marry her unless you can wholeheartedly accept that this is how things are going to be for an indefinite period of time. NOTHING is going to change after you get married. If anything, it will probably dwindle down to once a year. I don't think it's this unusual for women to "not have a sex drive" - but if sex is very important to you, and you're seeing this change just after two years, it would probably be wise to put marriage on hold for now, and try and resolve the issue first.
2007-05-09 04:43:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is not about sex, but sex is part of marriage. Even without a sex drive I would think she could find it in herself to act like she has one once in a while. Therapy might help, hormones might help as well. But only having sex twice in one year, you are the one acting like everything is ok ALL THE TIME. It is time for her to step up to the plate and take one for the team. As a partner in a marriage you have an obligation to the other partner to meet them half way. She is not. She is making it all about her and now everyone wants you to be the bad guy because SHE can't be there for you once in a while. Geesh!
2007-05-09 04:58:15 · answer #10 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking yourself should I marry her then you are clearly having doubts.What a lot of women have wrote is correct and you should listen to them,they know what they are talking about. If the only reason you can think of not to marry her is because of the lack of sex then I don't see that as a problem. I would only worry if you can think of lots of legitimate reasons for not marrying her. Not she hogs the quilt or anything stupid like that. Just do what you feel is right at the end of the day
2007-05-10 00:29:10 · answer #11 · answered by feenstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋