I think my friends son has autism....?

Question

We go to chilis on my lunch break....
When we sit down...the waiter brings us our drinks and forgets his...her son says juice, juice, juice repeatedly and start screaming for it after a few times...so the waiter finally brings the juice, he drinks and is fine.. If you offer to give him a bite of food he wont even acknowledge im giving it to him...
he wants me to give the food to mommy so that she can feed it to him.... Then he sees a picture of a cow and starts saying cow over and over again.. and then starts screaming it again...
then when she tells him to stop he starts screaming and crying staring forward and starts rocking back and forth.....
it seems a little differant to me and has become so embarrassing... i have never seen a child behave like this, I babysat for him a few times and when his mom left he`d throw up everywhere...i`ve heard autistic kids dont want anyone but mommy.. i dont know how to tell his mom i think he is autistic or has some sort of medical condition.

I am not judging him... I am concerned. I love him, but it is embarrassing to go out and have him screaming in a restaurant and everyone is staring at you wondering why he acts this way... He does not go to school or day care because she is a stay at home mom and doesn`t think he should go yet he is almost 3... she doesnt think he acts any differantly... but everyone else does..

Answer 1

Sounds like Autism to me due to the fact that he seems obsessive over saying "cow" repeatedly and the rocking back and forth. Does he watch a lot of movies and memorize or obsess over them? Does he line up his toys according to size? Is he toilet trained? When he hears a commercial or a phrase, does he repeat it over and over word for word (this is called echolalia)? These are some of the things my daughter did. She is 10 and her only problem now seems to be keeping dry at night. Your friend should have her boy evaluated and diagnosed so that she can get him into special ed and get SSI started for him. There are a lot of resources out there for parents of autistics and tons of books. Check out some books on autism at the library, that's what I did since I didn't have a lot of money 5 years ago. Good luck, and I hope your friend will pursue trying to help her son instead of doing what a lot of parents in this situation tend to do; ignore it hoping it passes or flat out deny that THEIR kid has a disability. This can happen to anyone, it's not necessarily an inherited disability.

Answer 2

In my professional opinion, what your friend's son has is some behavioral issues, but he is not exhibiting classic signs of Autism. Autism is a developmental disorder commonly identified by a lack of social interaction, a lack of verbal and non-verbal skills, and repetitive behaviors. From what you are saying, it seems more that the child lacks guidance and direction from his mother not because she is a bad mom, but more likely because she just doesn't know what to do. Repeating words over and over sounds more like an attention getting method. He wants juice so he says it over and over and screams. What happens? His juice appears! Voila! He has just learned that this behavior gets him what he wants. His communication skills are developing. Even though he doesn't acknowledge you offering him a bite of your food, he was able to communicate to you that he wanted you to give the food to his mom so she can feed him. Rocking back and forth is a common frustration behavior for little ones. One of the more difficult things for many parents of autistic children is that their child does not seem to need them. Autistic children do not develop normal attachments to people, so your friend's son's throwing up when she leaves him is not a sign of autism. What this child needs is some guidance in how to behave properly in a restaurant. Even 2-3 year olds can be taught this. He isn't your son, so you'll not be able to offer much in the way of discipline. I suggest that you put together a little activity bag for him. Buy and keep in your car a small box of crayons (the 8 count box is plenty for little hands), a coloring book with things you know he likes, a couple of board books with bright simple pictures and not a lot of words, a few plastic toy cars, some paper, a couple age-level games/toys etc. Go to a dollar store and pick up a few things. Everytime you have lunch with your friend, bring in some things. Children in his age range are extremely self-focused. You'll not likely have a grown-up conversation with a 2, nearly 3 year old at the table. If he sees the cow and keeps repeating it, my guess is he just needs someone to acknowledge the cow, too. Say, "I see that cow, too. What color is it? Do you see a picture with car in it?" I am going to guess that he pretty much runs the show wherever he goes and he is catered to. Unless you are very close to your friend, it is unlikely you'll have good luck at bringing her son's behavior to her attention. She likely knows he is behaving inappropriately, but doesn't know how to deal with him, and may be embarrassed. If you are not familiar with child development, read up on it a bit. There is a lot of good information in books and on the internet. Help your friend keep her son occupied and you'll probably have a much quieter lunch. If you want some adult time, maybe you can go out when her husband can watch the little boy or go to visit her at home during his nap time. He needs some structure and boundaries, without them he'll be out of control.

Answer 3

If he is autistic, a doctor or school professional will catch it. Your job should be to support the mom when/if she finds out that he has autism.

Right now, you shouldn't judge. All kids are different, maybe this is just a phase for him.

Answer 4

I dont think its autism, i thought my daughter was autistic, so i did some research, and children with autism are behind in motor skills, and dont show affection, and with most cases, children dont speak. That is weird behavior he has, but I think its just a phase and he will grow out of it.

Answer 5

How old is he
If he is three or older, as him to get tested for preschool through her town school.
You can bring up Autism, and begins on how common it is, and the different degrees of it. How children, that are in the higher end, are harder to diagnos
Good luck

Answer 6

1

Answer 7

I'm glad you are concerned, I wish more people were concerned and would voice their concerns, because the sooner these kids are helped the better.

Here's some places to start, diagnostic checklists and signs, maybe send your friend the links, or print out the information for her?

http://www.firstsigns.org/

http://www.autismwebsite.com/ari/about/e23.htm - this has a downloadable pdf file she can fill out

http://depts.washington.edu/dataproj/chat.html -simple checklist that can be printed out

Answer 8

Well it does seem like he needs to see a doctor. Let your friend know that you are concerned and tell her you will be there for them.

Answer 9

If you are that concerned about him, talk to his mom about it and see if shes willing to take him to a doctor to be examined..thats really all you can do!