why do men take advantage of women?

Question

I dated my 6 year crush after he was seperated. There was hope that he would follow through with a divorce. He informed that he was now going back to his wife. He is 8 years younger than me. So i dont know if this was a factor however he did tell me that he could see that I was awesome person and didnt want to hurt me on purpose. I was also told he felt bad for me since he could sense that men take advantage of my kindness. Which wasnt fair to me since I was such a awesome woman. How could that be written on my face? How can I avoid this image if I dont relize it? I would like to hear some feed back from a all views but would really like to hear a mans response

Answer 1

It isn't as simple as men taking advantage of women, but that people take advantage of a situation that benefits them. Some call it human nature, others selfishness.

You said it yourself: you are an awesome woman and he must have seen that he could have you on his terms, meaning you must have given him something that he was not getting in his other relationship. Now that he has had what you have to offer, he is temporarily satiated and can go back to his ex.

Mark my words, however, when things get bad there, he'll come slinking back.

Here goes the Oprah-speak:

You are obviously too wonderful to settle for a man who cannot and will not give you what you need to feel loved and cherished. So when he does come back, ignore his advances.

If people see you as someone they can advantage of, it must be that you show kindness in your expressions. I hope you never lose that quality just to protect yourself, because so few people possess that attribute. Someday, it will make someone very happy, who will, in turn, make you very happy.

Answer 2

It is not written on your face. You're probably a very nice person who goes out of their way to help others. He was an indecisive young man who couldn't even decide if he wanted to be married. You had a crush and he needed comfort. Did he take advantage of you or did you finally get to consummate that crush? I am not saying this to be mean, but to help you see another side to it. You both kind of used each other it seems.

Now to your question. Not all men are users and not all women are. There are some people out there who use others to fulfill their needs at some time. Is that acceptable? No, not really. But it does happen. The trick is to figure out if it is happening to you and stop it before you get hurt.

Answer 3

You were in the relationship with him at the wrong time. You shouldn't have any with him. Of course, after separation either man or woman need replacement, whether temporary or not, which is totally wrong, because they need time to mentally prepare for next relationship. I think you treated him very nice and he felt guilty about it. But like I said, he was not ready. About men take advantage of women, I am not sure about that, can be the other way around. As far as you were willing to do to the person that you love, It shouldn't call 'taken advantage'. One thing for sure he doesn't love you. I am sorry but you better move on.

Answer 4

Hello,

don't listen to the people responding to you with silly notions. From one kind woman to another you can't help who you are. I am the same way and would do anything for the person I'm seeing just to feel unappreciated afterwards. The saying goes nice guys finish last but that applies to woman as well. What I realized recently is you have to hold back sometimes. We have to stop giving our all to a man and not getting it in return. Most of them don't want to hurt us but we do allow them most of the time. Once they see what they can get away with they take you for granted sometimes not knowing it. If you feel like you deserve more from the men in your life then you probably do and you should get out the situation asap. I did.....

Answer 5

The same reason women take advantage of men.

This isn't a question of him taking advantage of you, it's of you wanting to be taken advantage of. This is a "you" problem, not a "him" one. Unless you can realize that (and clearly from your post you don't), you will continue to have these types of problems. You made all the mistakes, you were the one to decided to get hurt...not him.

You seem immature and self-centered, two qualities that lead to these types of things. There is nothing for you to do now but learn and grow from this.

Here is a hint: stop dating married men.

Answer 6

Im not a guy, but I will tell you this; men only do what women allow them to do to them...Not all men are in this catagory, but their are quite a few...

You have to set your standards a little higher, so you wont be taken advantage of... It seems you might have a self esteem issue going on with you and a man can quicky pick-up on that...Build your self confidence level every morning you wake-up tell yourself, "I love you self. I am beautiful." Once you have done that not only will men notice a change in you, but you will notice a change in yourself and you wont be so open to being taken advantage of...

Answer 7

As a man myself, i wouldn't even date a woman who are older than me. and you are 8 years older..

men like to lead. and men like to feel important. not better than women.. just try to be someone who can take care of his women and family.

I'd say he dated you to be nice. and I bet from the beginning he didn't plan to actually marry you or what not.

or maybe he is just a player who needed some and there is already a woman there willing to do that for him.

date someone older than you is the best way to go.

Answer 8

well what you should ask is why do SOME men take advantage of women.

since some women aslo take advantage of men...

one of my rules is never to get involved with a married man- you will always end up getting hurt.

Answer 9

What kinda men are you meeting? Maybe you should not go for the low lifes! My man is great and has never taken advantage of me!

Answer 10

You dated a man who was married so you set yourself up for this. He did not take advantage of you. No one has power over you, except you. You allowed yourself to be hurt. Be smarter next time.