Atheists...?

Question

An answer to another question got me wondering. The other day, my grandma-in-law wanted to say grace at dinner. I didn't bow my head or say amen, but I didn't protest either.

How do you react when people want to say grace? Does it make a difference if they are relatives? Do you ever refuse?

Answer 1

i just sit quietly when my family prays.

Not much else i can do. I don't endorse it, but i'm not going to fight it either.

i won't bow my head either which is a sign of reverence. I will not submit (bow) to zeus or odin either.

Answer 2

If any family wants to pray, I always just bow my head and clasp my hands together out of respect. I do not say Amen, since I don't feel that would be right. I never refuse, because that would only cause problems.

When I was a cheerleader in highschool, we would have to go out on the field, pray infront and with all of the fans. I felt VERY uncomfortable, but was told that I had to join in as part of the team. If I knew what I know now, I would have put my foot down and refused. (Of course, this was in Texas before they passed the laws against prayer in school/functions.)
*I'm not an Atheist....

Answer 3

I am a christian and I do not bow my head... It all depends on your family, but I would never make someone participate, but just like you are saying, i would never expect that someone does either... to each their own... but I think it is wonderful that you let her have her prayer. If christians and atheists alike could learn respect from you, I think the world may do a lot better... somewhere (here on yahoo answers) it seems like it became a war between believers vs. nonbelievers and instead of respecting each others differences we want to change each other to all think the same way... Yeah for you and your open mindedness and respect to those who think differently than you!!! Thank you!

Answer 4

I am not an atheist but I do have a very different religion than my family and friends. I think the way you reacted is ideal. You're not giving anyone the false impression that you're of the same religion but at the same time you're not being a jerk about their beliefs. I applaud you for that--its rare and wonderful to see someone with a different religion (or lack of a religion) that's not offensive towards other religions. As for myself, whenever my family says grace I will be quiet, make sure my children are quiet so they can have their prayer, but we don't participate either.

Answer 5

I'm a catholic, but I don't ever say grace. It's just not how I was raised. When other people are saying grace I either sit there and don't say anything, or I do the hand thing and close my eyes till their done. It dosen't matter to me as long as my friends feel comfortable around me. I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I just don't believe in participating.

Answer 6

I am an atheist and I ask my brother to say grace at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It means nothing to me (the god part anyways) but I can still be thankful for family. It also means a great deal to some so I bow my head and be respectful.

Answer 7

I am totally comfortable allowing my theist friends and family to make their incantations to their imaginary friends. The only exceptions to that are when I am hungry and someone wishes to have about an hour of gibberish between "Our Father" and "Amen." In that case, I will just start eating.

There is nothing wrong or contradictory about an atheist meditating on an ideal, such as loving one's neighbor, repenting from certain unwanted behaviors, etc.

When I realized I was an atheist (It wasn't a decision), there was nothing I wanted to do then that I wouldn't have wanted to do before.

I'm still the same person. No better and no worse.

Answer 8

If they feel the need to say grace, whatever. That's their thing. But I expect others to have enough respect for my beliefs not to expect me to. If they didn't...that has never come up but I would think I'd stay calm and stand my ground.
My older relatives aren't really traditional so it's not a concern in my family. But, I think if yours' are, unless you like family arguments over dinner, what you did sounds fine to me. You can't change 50+ years of thinking in five min. and you don't need to be loud and/or insulting every chance you get.

Answer 9

Great question. Whenever my wife and I go over to my parents house for dinner (both of my parents are christians), my stepdad will inevitably ALWAYS say grace. I'm polite and close my eyes and bow my head...but that's about it. It's just the polite thing to do.

Answer 10

I'm not an atheist, but I run into this problem too! (where's the love for pagans!)
Its never a bad idea to be grateful for what you are provided with. You can be grateful to whoever or whatever you think is responsible for that- personally, I like to thank the Lord and Lady because they are personifications of fertility and/or the continuation of the cycle that still provides for us even though we trash the crap out of it.
Basically, I generally go with it because the whole idea of giving thanks probably originated with Pagans anyway. Come to think of it, I guess I don't really have anything to contribute for this question, sorry : /

Answer 11

You did the right thing. Just bow in respect, to your Grandma-in-law, and let her say her prayers.

She's as entitled to her beliefs as yours. She is not hurting you or intentionally setting out to hurt you.

If you were to have protested, it would have been to "hurt", and by thinking first, it would even have been intentional.

You can express your views at another time, but I still wouldn't insist that she doesn't pray in your presence.

As humans, we have to have respect for all.