my fiancee and i are getting married at the end of October, but went ahead and chose our bridal party. My financee picked a mutual friend of ours that we both know as pretty wishy-washy but a good friend. I happen to work with the friend and unfortunately he has becomea two-faced asshole [sorry for the language] he's talked behind my back when i was out of work with strep throat [& i had dr's excuse] and really become pompous and not someone we like to be around. Is there any polite way to replace him as the best man or do we just deal with it?
2007-05-09 03:17:38 · 13 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
honestly he can be a very nice guy and a great person but he's very two-faced and real immature. we would want him at the wedding but not to be the best man
2007-05-09 03:39:34 · update #1
I would confront him and say "Hey, I heard that you were talking behind my back the other day and I really don't appreciate it. We're both adults here and there is no excuse for your actions. How can I trust you to be the best man in my wedding?! I'm sorry, but I think we'd be better off entrusting the role to one of our closer friends." It may not be the most "polite" thing to do, but he isn't exactly acting like a best man now is he?! Good luck and Congratulations!
2007-05-09 03:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by terasa425 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one is really tough! If you flatly ask him to step down from his role as best man, he's probably going to be so offended that he won't come to the wedding at all.
Here's my thought. Have your fiance invite him out for a drink. He can begin the conversation by saying that getting married is a big deal to him, he's nervouds and excited, but that the thing that matters most to him is being partners with you. He should let this guy know that he doesn't appreciate how this guy has been acting, and ask him why he has been acting so negatively and saying hurtful things. If this guy doesn't support the union between you two, which is how you both feel, then it wouldn't be right to have him up there as best man witnessing the marriage. If your fiance can navigagte through this conversation, maybe giving this guy 24 hours to think about it, the jerk will either clean up his act, or see his way out of the situation and take it. Good luck!
2007-05-09 03:55:53 · answer #2 · answered by tribekat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want your wedding to be a time of good feelings and good people surrounding you in your bridal party. I think your fiancee needs to have a talk with the best man and explain that due to his actions you both no longer feel comfortable with him representing your husband as his "best" man at your upcoming wedding and that you will both choose another person who has not dishonored your friendship the way he has. A groom's "best man" is supposed to be someone who he trusts with his life and wholly supports your marriage which this person obviously cannot do when he is behaving in this way. Maybe your fiancee needs to think carefully about who he asks this time (Maybe a trusted uncle, cousin, childhood friend, brother, even your brother). Good luck to you both and God Bless your marriage.
2007-05-09 03:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. If you don't want this jerk to have such an important and (above all) honorable role then replace him! God knows what his toast would be like. You want someone who means something to you as a couple (or at least to the groom). I'd just tell him "look I know what you've been saying behind my back and we don't want you to be the best man in our wedding anymore." If he's that big of a jerk I wouldn't even bother giving him any wedding duties. Not even an usher!
2007-05-09 03:27:39 · answer #4 · answered by sweetsar99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say HE is being wishy washy, yet you falter to replace him if he has done this to you? Honesty is the best policy. Gut up and replace him if you truly don't want him in the wedding party. The discomfiture of facing him down and replacing him is momentary, the memories of your wedding day are forever.
2007-05-09 03:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's been said for a long time that is is bad luck to denouce
a) your godparents
b) your best man
But if he's being a rude asshole and it is really affecting you, confront him about it otherwise he'll probably just get drunk and say the same crap on your weddingday and ruin one of the most amazing moments in your life if you don't deal with it now.
2007-05-09 03:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
zero% of white christians, considering the fact that in case your relatively a christian then colour does not subject. Also it's completely viable that Christ had darkish epidermis besides. Anyway there might not be blacks, or whites, or asians or every other ethnic colours in Heaven. The bible says we can recognize as we're identified. Gods love is greater than epidermis deep, so will have to our love for all mankind be.
2016-09-05 13:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need an exceptionally "polite" way - if you don't want him in the wedding party, then tell him privately but firmly that you have changed your mind and that he is no longer the best man. Then go about choosing your replacement.
2007-05-09 03:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by stmichaeldet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sound like a negative person, you don't need that. just tell him you no longer want him to be your best man due to the reasons you wrtoe down yourself. you are paying for this wedding not him. so don't feel bad about denouncing him. true friends dont talk behind your back.
2007-05-09 04:07:28 · answer #9 · answered by Ethan's Mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly don't want this guy to be in your wedding party anymore (I assume you don't want to be friends with him either), just tell him. It's up to you who you allow in your life and in your wedding. Sounds like he's a crappy friend anyway.
2007-05-09 03:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by crabbyone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋