10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
2007-05-09 02:13:19 · 15 answers · asked by Ashley M 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Haha isn't that the truth
2007-05-09 02:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Robert W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A devout couple felt it important to own an equally devout pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.
When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home--devoutly. That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new pet and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.
Well, they said, "let's try this out." Once more they called the
dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.
2007-05-09 02:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by mobile auto repair (mr fix it) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Top-notch! I've seen some older versions, like 50's vintage, and I like the modern touches with software and telemarketing worked in.
2007-05-09 02:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by The Grey Piper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! Here you have a star!
2007-05-09 02:18:56 · answer #4 · answered by naddel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehehhe good LOL
here is a star
2007-05-09 02:19:13 · answer #5 · answered by Dark Crystel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is funny she means that like in a case she would be screwed
GodBless
2007-05-09 02:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by Haley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny. enjoyed the joke alot.
2007-05-09 02:16:45 · answer #7 · answered by dgreer58 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha very good and a star for you!
2007-05-09 02:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by skipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very cute
2007-05-09 02:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by tomtoride 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooooooooooo snap....that un was good...but long
:)
2007-05-09 05:15:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋