The overt reason for my MIL's phone call was to wish my husband a happy birthday. From there it went downhill quickly. Yes, they've had a tumultuous history. He'd made his amends for his wrongdoings years ago, yet she's repeatedly thrown these issues back in his face. Even in my MIL's moments of feigned civility it's as if one can see the venom boiling within her. That toxic chasm runs deep, and stems from multiple sources well removed from her only child. Still, he's the sole target of the sum total of her fury. This was the most underhanded act of emotional brutality I've witnessed in years. What the hell is going on in that woman's putrid brain? She sure isn't getting access in any way, shape or form to my husband or our children again. I'd go to jail for sparing humankind of her gross dysfunction before she ever harms my loved ones again.
2007-05-09 01:24:08 · 3 answers · asked by *~*~*poof*~*~* 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
My husband has undeniable signs of PTSD as a direct result of her abuses. She visited our new home in a new state for the first time a few weeks ago. It had been two years since the last f2f. This time, just like all their other previous interactions I've witnessed in over ten years, he displayed (amongst other things) a distinct fear-based startle reflex whenever she raised her voice of bellowed for/at him.
She always pulls this crap when she thinks I'm not around or within earshot. As soon as she's aware of my presence she fakes "mom of the year." Meanwhile, following every f2f it's taken at least a week after their encounters for my husband to become functional again.
He and I each have over a decade of hard-won recovery from addiction. He's normally very strong in his program. Nothing much shakes his resolve, one day at a time. However, I fear that this may change if his mother continues to be allowed to run rampant. I can't realistically keep anyone sober except me. Powerless!
2007-05-13 17:22:22 · update #1
I think there are too many possibilities without knowing the dynamics of her life and his life and their lives in relation to each other to give a good answer on why she does what she does. I can only say that keeping away from her if she refuses to stop harming him is a good idea.
My best answer is to find and read the book Toxic Parents. It's a marvelous book on this subject, is an easy read, and makes its points in a way laymen can understand and apply to their lives.
Best of luck to you. I've been there too.
2007-05-09 01:33:19 · answer #1 · answered by Secrets of the Night 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people, get great empowerment, from the 'upperhand' in a situation...she is jealous of his relationship with you for one thing....she wants to make sure that even though you and him get a long, SHE has the inside scoop, and will still attack him whenever she pleases...However, i would really think, about denying her of your husband and children...HE should be the one to make that desicion, not you....He is a man, and can take it, and HAS taken it, long before you came along...you might just be a bystander, that doesn't know the whole story, except from HIS point of view...so back off, and don't put yourself in a postition that might come back to haunt you some day...Be supportive, but let HIM make the decision, and out of respect for your husband, follow it.
2007-05-09 01:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHY do you allow this woman i'm to polite to call her by other names ,into your home .ther are other places you can hold your f2f meetings that if things get out of hand u and ur hubbie can leave .me i'd tell the b---h (sorry) to get to fkuc(sorry)i'd better sign off before i say something that i won't be sorry for bye ,good luck with that...........
2007-05-16 23:55:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋