Why do I find older men so much more attractive then men my own age?

Question

Im a 19 year old student and i have always fancied much older men. The oldest man i have been with is 37 and have experimented with older than that as well as come close emotionally. dont know what it is about them and there is no reason for this, many people have said it was something to do with a father figure As i never met my father until i was 10 and have only met him 3 times to this day.
It isnt money or better sex so i was wondering whether anyone was in the same situation and whether i should look for a way to stop this feelings and concentrate on men my own age or at least not any older than 15 years older.
Im not interested in whether people dont like it or think it is sick!
the thought of being with someone my age or few years older is wierd.. its like they are really young... even though not much difference in our age.also the size of there body... its like a teenager or something. i like the big.. mans body if u know wot i mean? The oldest i have fancied is 54!

Answer 1

Older men are more patient, tender, thoughtful, etc. You are probably mature (emotionally0 for your age and seek men of the same maturity level. BTW I'm 45. LOL

Answer 2

I am in the same situation. I don't fancy people my own age and don't think there is anything wrong with that. Older men are just more mature and I am very mature for my age. I don't play around and guys my age do. I am more homely. You shouldn't worry about it. I understand you, it's not about the money as you said, it is about the intelligence, maturity, considerate characteristics in most older men.

All this father figure things mean nothing, trust me I am a psychology student and have had lived with a father in the family all the time. But I still like older men. They are just attractive because they are protective. Don't listen to people who judge you for it. In my culture, it is acceptable.

Answer 3

I think maybe it is the "father figure" thing for you. My daughter is your age and she's happily dating a guy, for 2 years now, that's about 10 years older than she is. LoL She finds that guys her own age aren't mature enough, intellectually, for her. Personally, I think she's smarter than this guy too. Also, my boyfriend, before I came along, only dated women that where much younger than him. It was the beauty of youth that attracted him. Young girls are still attracted to him and he enjoys the attention, but he needed to be intellectually stimulated as well. Don't let anyone make you think that you're a freak! Your attraction is completely normal for your situation. Only thing is, if you ever fall for one of these older men, make sure it's real love between a man and a woman and not love for a substitute Dad. You'll end up cheating or getting your heart broken if you can't separate the difference. You're probably too smart for the boys your age anyway!! :)

Answer 4

Answering your question I would tend to agree with your friends in saying it may be a father attraction. Another theory though is that you may like feeding your ego by getting a favorable response from an older man. A woman usually likes to feel wanted but some need to feel wanted from older men because it makes them feel more mature themselves thereby making them feel better about themselves. There is nothing wrong with it from my view but then again I am an older man that likes young ladies like you who want my attention. There are guys who are the same way. It is just how some people are. Just like some people are very much attracted to people of other races. Some look upon it as a kinkiness and they say so because it is considered out of the ordinary. Some of us have extraordinary taste. I believe God made it that way. As the statement goes: "Different strokes for different folks".

Answer 5

Obviously I won't have the perfect answer for you, but I do know how you feel.
It all depends on how you want things to be basically. You can't force yourself to feel different! If one would be gay there wouldn't be a way to stop those feelings, right? If you're in love you can't just suddenly stop being in love. You can hide the feelings and simply torture yourself by acting different, but that won't make you happy I suppose.
Besides, nobody has the right to tell/force you to feel any different than you do. So I'd try to see the positive side and remind myself it's not 'wrong' to feel that way, it's not illegal or anything.
I think the general attraction to older men is their maturity, many younger men are very focused on their careers, their image, their goals etc. And I think older men are bit more relaxed and confident. Confidentiality makes a man sexy and comfortable to be around from my point of view. Though of course there are exceptions! ;-)

Answer 6

I know EXACTLY what you're feeling!! My boyfriend is 34 n Im 19... he's the older guy I actually had a relationship with, and now thinking back to when I was dating those little punksmy age, I feel like I wasted so much time.. Its not about the money at all, its the maturity level.. We're both at the same level on maturity n I can actually hold a converstaion with him.. we can both go without sex, and we're fine with that.. I just love spending time with him, and having him love me.

Answer 7

Although you discount the father figure thing, you should maybe explore that a little further as it could be that you love your dad very much and wish to emulate your relationship with him in your own relationships (not in a nasty way, in an intellectual and emotional way). Also, there could be safety in it for - many older men are settled in relationships and you could be looking for partner who adores you, but doesnt want to take it to a serious level. There may appear to be safety in that situation for you. You may have some issues of underlying lack of confidence, which an older man could boost in you because he will naturally care for you as part of his relationship with you. There is also the possibility that you just like older men - nothing wrong with that. They are much more rewarding in almost every dimension of a relationship. Generally.

Answer 8

It could be the "father figure syndrome" or you could be simply looking for the stability and maturity that comes with age, especially in men. Don't worry too much about it, I think that "acceptable" age differences include up to 10 years in difference. However be careful that you aren't getting a man who is into the "baby girl" syndrome either, because you may not want to open that can of worms!!! Don't worry so much about the number, do what makes you happy.

Answer 9

Sounds like you have an affinity for maturity, really. You're right, there are a lot of people that are going to go "ewe".

I know this though. There are millions of older men out there that wish there were millions more of you out there... b/c you are just above "legal" and that is such a turn on for older men.

You're going to have a problem if you ever get attached to one though. He'll die way before you do. Think about this as well. One day you'll be old too. Then do you still date old men or are you going to finally start dating men 19?

Answer 10

We start liking guys at the age between 12 and 14, by the time we reach 16 we go for the older ones ( older then us) and then start looking at much older guys, they seem more mature and are ready to settle down ( we think) and feel it would be a better relationship then the silly know it all our own age( girls mature faster then boys,fact)...guys have a scoring system while they are in their teens and i think we try to stay away from them and go for someone that can think beyond their pants( we think). we like to feel we are older and a guy can make us feel we are worth something more.
at 19 years of age you could be thinking about your future nest and wanting kids so you are looking for someone who can be more mature and ready.