From what I can tell, this is a arranged marriage.
And it is quite common in some countries...
Just to explain to those who don't know...
You have the right to be scared.
I would be.
I wish I could offer you some advice.
I know the punishment for you if you defy your parents arrangement.
If you can leave the Country, or hide, then I say to do so, if you feel this man is unsafe.
Or you can marry him..
Nothing will take away your fear.
I hope all goes well for you.
(((Hugz)))
2007-05-08 21:00:12
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answer #1
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answered by lami_by_design 3
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If this is an arranged marriage then no wonder you have questions and worries. Don't listen to anyone that says this is a bad thing, it's not really done in my culture but that's the joy of having a place like this, so we can learn about other cultures and become accepting of them, not scared of them. Although I did not have an arranged marriage, when I married the first time I was a virgin bride, and should have asked a trusted friend who was married to explain to me what to expect, I would advise either asking your mother, or a good married friend, say you have concerns and ask them to reassure you.
2007-05-09 09:01:16
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answer #2
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answered by sparkleythings_4you 7
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Tough question.
The best person to ask for advice would be your mother, or your husband-to-be's mother. They can advise you on the expectations for a married girl in your culture. If you have a married aunt or other relative, you should consult them also.
On the wedding night, you will (usually) have sex. It is likely that your husband will have some idea of what to do. If you are from a traditional culture, he will probably expect that you do not know what to do.
In simple language, he will push his penis into your vagina. He will move it in and out until he has a climax, which is when his seed goes into your womb. This has a chance of making you pregnant.
It will hurt the first time whether your husband is gentle or not. There will be some blood when your hymen (virginhead) breaks.
On average, a sex session lasts 18 minutes. This is the average in the USA according to a recent survey by Durex.
After sex, your husband may get drowsy and relaxed. If he smokes, he will want to smoke. If you bring him some simple food like fruit or bread, it should please him. After sex is when husbands are the most relaxed, and most likely to agree.
Sex can be very enjoyable, but it is made enjoyable through love, skill, and patience. If your husband has love, skill, and patience, he will make it enjoyable to you with kissing and playing with each others' bodies. If he does not have love, skill, and patience, you can teach him, but it is very hard to do. The first step in teaching him is to lay your head on his chest after sex and be gentle with him. In time, if you are gentle to him, he can learn to be gentle with you.
2007-05-09 05:18:02
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answer #3
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answered by jack f 2
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It sounds to me like you are having an arranged marriage. Myself I do not think these marriages are right. I think a person should be able to fall in love with someone on there own and make there own decision on marriage. I think you should tell your parents that you do not wish to marry this man because you do not know him or what he is like. You want the chance to find a man you can fall in love with and the right to be happy in life and in marriage.
Really why is it that parents and some cultures believe they should setup there children with complete strangers then allowing the right to have there own say? Really this is 2007 and people should have the right to say who they marry.
Come on parents it may have worked for you but really are you happy in life?. Don't do this to your children let them live.
2007-05-09 04:39:03
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answer #4
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answered by Livinrawguy 7
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If you scared how sex on the first night is going to be, you can read some good books. Since you use the net find out from there. Its o.k if you are a virgin but it cannot be that you know nothin about sex. Discuss you fears and inhibitions with your girlfriends and get tips how to react and respond. Good luck. Every girl has her wedding night and comes out of it asking for more.
2007-05-09 04:36:44
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answer #5
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answered by pakir poyum 3
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I think this is a very scary position to be in! I will be jumping the broom soon and I still dont know everything about the person I will be spending my life with! I believe that you should know the person you are going to spend your life with so that you can have a good idea what you are going to be dealing with on a day to day basis! I'm not sure of your relationship with your mother but chances are she won't talk you out of it! MAKE YOUR OWN DECISION! YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT NO ONE ELSE.. Best of luck!
2007-05-09 07:51:47
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answer #6
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answered by Baby Girl 2
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Is this marriage arranged by your parents?
Americans think this is really bad. Because you do not know him and are not "in love", you won't be disappointed by reality. Try to
be open to the good things about him. I know it will be hard to have sexual relations with someone you do not know. The first time is always something to worry about.
What are your hopes for a good husband? Try to pray for those hopes. There is not any reason that your marriage won't work.
You may be very happy once you get to know your husband.
Good luck with your marriage and wedding night!
2007-05-09 04:06:04
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answer #7
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answered by Susan M 7
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You will have sex on that night. Is there anyone you can ask? Like your mother or another trusted relative. They will tell you what it's like. I hope everything is ok. I understand you being scared, I would too, but you should be ok.
2007-05-09 04:05:23
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answer #8
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answered by MoMoney23 5
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Is this a fixed marriage? If it is, then all you have to do is pray that he's a good person, better yet, just calm down, relax and enjoy your first night, you'll never know, maybe you'll like it.; just kidding!
2007-05-09 04:01:25
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answer #9
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answered by libertine 2
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Then dont marry. as simple as that. Who is forcing you to marry? Anyone? Get help from someone before you are being trapped. It's never too late to react. Wishing you all the best.
2007-05-09 03:58:59
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answer #10
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answered by freezing lady 6
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