REVENGE!! Do i really wanna get back at him for using me?

Question

was dating this guy.. for more than 6 months.. i didn't know that he had a GF of 5 years.. i was the OTHER GIRL.. and i didn't even know about it.. he used me.. emotionally.. financially.. sexually.. u name it.. he was all take.. to make things worst, he keeps bragging about his exploits.. god!! i'm so frustrated.. so bitter.. i want to get back at him.. make him feel the pain..

i'm thinking of letting the girl know.. so that they'll break up or something.. i'm not really sure thou.. it's just that i'm so mad.. cuz i know that i didn't deserve to be treated like that..

can anyone help me out?

Answer 1

sorry i am probably going to be the only one to say this and people will probably hate me for it but here it is.

If you truly dated him for more than 6 months and were unaware you were the "other woman" and by the behavior you describe you didn't even clue into the fact he was a schmuck... then sorry honey you only have yourself to blame for that one.

Now don't get me wrong what he did was despicable and deserves punishment. Personally I say tell the other girl. It will do her a favor, and teach him a lesson. Further tell the rest of his female friends if you know any. Women talk, and he will not get a date or get anything else for a while.

Do what you have to, but yeah he deserves whatever he gets, and I hope you learn from this and watch what men you choose.

Answer 2

Dear Katarina,

First of all, I'm very sorry you went through all of that with this man. No one should have to endure that. I do hope, in time, you begin to feel better. ( You will, but right now it doesn't seem like it. )

Let me run some reasoning by you, ok?

Obviously, this man played his little chirade with you, and when you found out about it and broke it off, he still had his other "girlfriend", on the string. So to him, in his way of thinking, he didn't lose a thing. I know that sounds terrible, and it is, but I am being truthful with you. So if you were to expose him to this other girl, he would do the same to her. He would leave, and before sundown, he would have another girl falling for his lies. It's a disgusting, but endless cycle.

You say he is bragging about his "exploits". You know, those who hear this man, if they have an ounce of intelligence, are going to figure out what he's all about. Especially girls. He thinks he's putting one over on them, but in reality, he's digging his own hole.

You know, I understand you are hurt, and I understand that you are in pain, but revenge isn't going to do a thing but stir up a hornets nest, perhaps cause more problems or confrontation, and you would still not be devoid of the original hurt you're experiencing now. You'd only be compounding your problems, not helping them.

Dearheart, you need a man who is going to love you, respect you, and above all, be honest with you. Unfortunately, this man wasn't it. He could be one of few in your life, or one of many, we just don't know. But my suggestion to you is to put this behind you, learn your lessons from it, and move on. Revenge won't change a thing, but it will cause a ton more problems.

There are good men out there, and you deserve one. Let someone else, in time, have that chance. Hard lessons are painful, but one good thing that comes from them is you come out much wiser.

Your ex-boyfriend is self-destructive. That is plain to see. Let him self-destruct, because he's going to do a more efficient job at destroying himself than any payback you could dream up. Read these words from Napoleon.......

"Never interupt your enemies when they are making a mistake. "

Good advice, huh?

Take a breath. Smile. Be glad he's gone, and out of your life. You don't need a cheater or a liar. Find someone who loves you, respects you, and deals honestly with you. And then thank God for that new person in your life, because you will definitely appreciate him, now that you know the other side! Right?

Best wishes, and I pray your hurt leaves you soon.

Answer 3

Hi,
out of sorrow do not make any decision without thinking twice. He may have hidden it from you that you were the other girl but he has a gf who has been with him for 5 years and would be more attached then you. If he can date 2 at once he will not feel pain when any of the two leave him as he can get more. But if you tell the gf in an unappropraite manner you would be hurting her rather than him. These kind of people cannot be punished by us. God will give him his deserved punishment. I am not saying that you should not tell the gf tell her but ask her to be calm about it when asking him if not you and her both would be in trouble.

Answer 4

If you want to tell the girl you can - but it shouldn't be because you want to hurt the guy. You'll likely end up hurting her more than you'll be hurting him.

If you feel he's used you, your first step may be to make sure he won't be able to from now on.

Telling his mom or his sister might make him madder than if you told his girlfriend. He might get too mad though.

You could tell some of his guy friends if you know that they would lose respect for him.

Answer 5

Don't murder him or anything ,but just do a little something-something- call him up, ball him out on the phone-or even better, ball him out in real life. Girl, he played you. I wouldn't necessarily say get revenge, just, like I said, BALL HIM OUT!! Preferably in public, preferably in front of his friends!! I wouldn't get involved w/ his girlfriend cuz that girl will probably not believe you if you say "Oh I didn't know about yoU!!" Trust me, she WON'T believe you.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your experience w/ this jackass. He IS a jackass, never forget it.

Answer 6

I would definitely let the other girl know. He is probably using her too. If you have any
documented proof that he owes you money
take him to a small claims court. That will teach
him a lesson. As far as people he is bragging
to, what do you care? They are probably
good for nothing loosers just as he is. Believe
me, he will get what's coming to him. Take care.

Answer 7

It's horrible being used, but take a step back and maintain your dignity, the worst thing you could do is sink to his level. I do feel for his girlfriend, and can understand you wanting to let her know, if you do decide to do this, try to keep it civil and not turn into a slanging match, she does need to know her b/f is a cheat because he could give her a nasty disease

Answer 8

While he was schemeing
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
Can't believe that I caught my man cheatin'
So I found another way to make him pay for it all

So I went
To Neiman-Marcus on a shopping spree
And on the way I grabbed Soley and Mia
And as the cash box rang I thought everything away

(Oops)
There goes the dreams we used to say
(oops)
There goes the time we spent away
(oops)
There goes the love I had but you cheated on me
And thats worth that now
(oops)
There goes the house we made a home
(oops)
There goes you'll never leave me alone
For all the lies you told
This is what you owe

Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times
Oh
When you go then everything goes
From the crib to the ride and the clothes
So you better let him know that
If he messed up you gotta hit em up

While he was braggin
I was coming down the hill and just draggin
All his pictures and his clothes in the baggin
Sold everything else till there was just nothin left

And I paid
All the bills about a month too late
It's a shame we have to play these games
The love we had just fades away, away

(Oops)
There goes the dreams we used to say
(oops)
There goes the time we spent away
(oops)
There goes the love I had but you cheated on me
And thats worth that now
(oops)
There goes the house we made a home
(oops)
There goes you'll never leave me alone
For all the lies you told
This is what you owe

Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times
Oh
When you go then everything goes
From the crib to the ride and the clothes
So you better let him know that
If he messed up you gotta hit em up

Repeat 1x

All of the dreams you sold
Left me out in the cold
What happened to the days when we used to trust each other
And all of the things I sold
Will take you until you get old
To get 'em back without me
revenge is better than money you'll see

Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times
Oh
When you go then everything goes
From the crib to the ride and the clothes
So you better let him know that
If he messed up you gotta hit em up

Answer 9

The guy is a peice of Sh!t and should be shot. Let his girl know and move on there is nothing to be achieved out of anger and the more you lash out the more he will think he accomplished. But if you get her to hurt him for you, you can come out on top

Answer 10

Tell the girl, she deserves to know hes cheating on her, if not you it would be another girl to get revenge, and another girl going through what you are too. Good luck.