Abort or Not ?

Question

I'm 21 years old and my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me and got pregnant by the other guy. I have still choosen too stay with her and forgive her. I'm just confused I wonder if I should tell her to get in abortion? She has told me its all up to me but each day that goes by she gets more closer to the baby, me i get more upset. The other guy wants to be in my girlfriend's life so he wants her to have the baby. I really dont belive in abortions but i also dont want to raise another man's child or have him in my girlfriend's life . How can we move on with our lives if he still comes around to see his child.

Answer 1

I think the decision is hers. You can't MAKE someone have an abortion. But does she want to be a single mother and who is she going to name as the father? Make sure it's not you cos of child support complications. Since it's not yours and the father wants to get closer to her, might I suggest you distance yourself from her and leave her to sort it out between she and him. Make it very clear that should she decide to keep the baby, you won't raise it for her. Who knows, you may end up marrying someone else. She should know that's a possibility too.

Answer 2

Considering aborting a baby because you don't want the father in your girlfriend's life is a terrible reason. If you are insecure about your girlfriend and this other guy, that will always be a problem whether there is a baby or not. If she consistently chooses this other guy, let her have him and move on so that you can find your own love all the sooner.

This is a challenging decision for you, but as upset as you are as this baby develops, you will be even more upset when the reality of choosing to abort this little life sinks in. Please spare this child, spare yourself, and spare your girlfriend of this pain and choose to encourage the life the of this child.

Answer 3

All adults in the situation suck it up and get along for the best of the child. All you have to do is be kind and civil. "I really don't believe in abortion" but this time it's convenient, "so I don't have raise another man's child or have him in my girlfriend's life". I'm prochoice 100% but there is something wrong with that statement. If you forgive her... for the sake of the baby you MUST forgive him too. If you do, you will have a wonderful realtionship with her, her child... and it will make life easier with the guy. It will all calm down after a while. Might take a while... but you all need to make an effort.

My vote is don't abort.

Answer 4

I agree with the prior people who suggested that you should put the baby up for adoption. The primary reason for this is because I don't think YOU will be able to be a good father for this child because of your animosity towards the child's father. Thats not terrifically fair to the child to be placed in that set of circumstances. Its also not fair to your marriage to let the other guy hang around. He might be the father, but for all intents and purposes, he has abandoned the mother (and the child he helped to produce), and I doubt very strongly he is all that interested in the child as anything other than a pawn in the relationship between him, you, and your wife. Tell that creep to get a life by putting the child up for adoption. Since he is not the least bit interested in actually being a father (a true test of this would be to ask him for child support payments NOW and see what he says about that) this child deserves somebody better than that in the child's life, and I sincerely hope that adoptive parents will be able to provide that for the child.

Answer 5

Hello,

You only are telling everything and your depressions and expressions are telling what to be done for all of your futures to be bright and cool.

First as you said its fine that you too loved each other but if you had real love then how come she got/mingled into with other, in this case you two must decide ask your girlfirend and make her understand to continue with whom she had steeped into a world of Mother becoming preganant. I appreciate that you are against Abortion but at the smae time you will be depressed the entire life and may be will be having classhes between both of you. More over it will be like harashment while you see the person around. So its better that come to an understanding and let your girlfriend stay with her person because without a reason she might have not proceed with so much big step.

It's part of Love. It never dies, we need devotion, respect and sacrify for Love. So it wil be your greatness if you can make them stay to gether happily and you can make yourself releife and have another New life .

"Well Wisher"

Answer 6

Well first of all you can't make your gf have an abortion if she doesn't want one. If you don't want to be in this child's life then its best that your turn and walk away now because in the long run you will just be hurting the child. Children can feel and understand stranded feelings of love and dislike. Leave the relationship and move on. You can't make her have an abortion and you will have to deal with the man being the child's father. Talk to her and see what she wants. I think its best that if you can't come to love and accept the child then its best to move on!

Answer 7

You have two choices.
1) You talk it out with your girlfriend and the guy and try to work out an agreement that would satisfy everyone.

2) You need to re-evaluate how much you love your girlfriend and ask yourself how much does she love you. It isn't fair to you, to her, to him, OR to the baby if you harbor this resentment towards the child and to him. If this continues, this resentment may fester towards your girlfriend.

You might also want to consider that she cheated on you once. Although you may have been together for 5 years, she did cheat. Now that she is pregnant, she is leaving the decision up to you, therefore forcing you to make the decision for her. If you choose to keep the baby, can you honestly say you won't wonder whether she would become closer to the father of her child and eventually leave you for him? Trust is the key to making this relationship work out. And it seems like you and your girlfriend have to work on building that trust in order to continue your relationship.

Answer 8

Well talk about putting someone on the spot, First my advice to you, DO NOT in any way tell her you want her to abort the baby, it will be a very big mistake, she will never forgive you and it will ruin your relationship. If she is sincere to you about staying together then I think you would be a bigger man to stick it out with her and help her with the baby. Or just break it off. But under no circumstances tell her to abort.

Answer 9

I'm sorry to say this, but her freedom of choice, is hers, and only hers. You can't make her do anything when it comes to this, it's all in her hands, since it's in her body. Tell her how you feel, and talk to her about how she feels about the situation. Don't pressure her into doing anything. The both of you should try to think logically, factually, and honestly right now (minus tons of emotion).....and it's critical that you do because she will need to make a critical decision in her life. Regardless though, it's her life and you have to respect that. Good luck with whatever the outcome turns out to be.

Answer 10

if you have choose to stay with her,then the all you can do
is be there for her and the child.but as you know since she
the one that going to have the baby it not fair to say that
you wont her to get abortion. if you really forgive her
then having this child is something that going to happen;
and the other guy will be in her life. but if you cant handle
it then may be you need to leave her along.