Was your mother and father good parents.If not do you still hold it against them?

Question

Do you bring the pass up to them.

Answer 1

My mother did what she could, my parents divorced when I was in the fourth grade. She was hard at times but now I realize what a great mom she really was. My dad was fun, up until he met a new friend, Fast forward to the present...Haven't seen him in about three years, my sister hasn't seen him in maybe six, he doesn't know his grandchildren and probably never will.
Our teen lives were pretty bad with this friend, who eventually became the wife.
I will always hold it against him, for some reason I can't get myself to forgive him for letting another human being hurt us the way she did. In the end she got what wanted, we are not in his life anymore and she began a new family with him.
If I ever saw him, I wouldn't have to bring up the past and remind him. All i would have to do is show him what he missed. He will regret it then.

Answer 2

Looking back on it now, I think my parents did the best they could. They both grew up in families where their dad's were alcoholics I mean really bad. It was rough growing up for I was the oldest and was supposed to set an example for my younger sister. At the time I did not understand some of the beatings ( I know they aren't right now matter what) and my younger sister was allowed to do whatever, but now I do and having it rough made me who I am today. My parents and I have a wonderful relationship now, and I have a 4 year old daughter. My sister is not a very good person, but we are still family. The past was brought up once, by my parents. That was the last time. It was like closure on the past. If I dwelled on the past, it would make for a meaningless future.

Answer 3

My mother and I were close, but I had a tumultuous relationship with my father. When I had my own children, and as I got older, I realized that parents do the best the can with the tools that they have. For a class project I interviewed my parents, and asked some sensitive questions--the fact that both were willing to be open and honest helped start the healing. I used to feel as if I didn't love my father, but after he was hospitalized it made me realize that life is too short to hold on to anger and pain. Everything happens for a reason, and my experiences with my parents helped to mold me into the woman I am today.

Answer 4

When I was young I thought my parents hated me. I felt unloved and unwanted. There were 7 other kids besides me and I got lost in the shuffle. I was number 6 of 8 and I felt like my older sisters got all my mother's attention. I felt like my father was totally disconnected from the family and all he did was yell at us.

As time went by and I began learning more about myself and started seeing my parents as flawed human beings instead of parents who are supposed to be perfect, I realized they did the best they could with what they knew. I learned that parents don't know everything and that's OK. I also learned that parents are human too and as such they'll make mistakes. And that's OK, too.

In hindsight, I see that my parents loved me very much and they loved me just as much as my siblings. They both worked very hard to provide a good life for such a large family. My father died 20 years ago and at the time I was still feeling resentment and hadn't seen him for three months before he died in his sleep. I went through terrible guilt but have since worked through that with his help. He's with me in spirit always. My mother is now 88 years old and in recent years I've brought up some things from the past but only in order to better understand myself and my relationship with her. Today, she and I are great friends and I've come to realize that I'm just like her in so many ways.

If you're struggling with issues from the past, try to see past the surface and give your parents a break. They did the best they knew how. If you do bring up past issues do it in a way that will help you learn and move forward with your life. It will be a struggle but it is well worth it.

Answer 5

My parents got a divorce, so my mom raised me and she dealt with some personal issues that I could not have known as I was growing up, however this affected how she dealt with her children. I was bitter for a long time, but I got counseling to better understand my feelings and help me to deal with her. I still shelter my heart when I deal with her because people are unpredictable and as much as we would wish, they do not change much over the years. However it does you no good to harbor hurt within your heart, the best thing to do is to find peace within yourself and know that the past is the past and if they were not good parents to you, you can still become a great parent to your own children by their example. You have gained experience in knowing how parents actions can cause certain feelings within children and avoid doing this to your own.

Answer 6

My parents are alright, Even if they wasnt there is no use holding grudges. The past is the past you cant change it so just get over it. Dont waste any more time obsessing over it then you need to learn from it!

Answer 7

I think my parents did the best they knew how with what they had. I do not hold it against them. I do not bring it up. Been there, done that.

Answer 8

No they were not. And no I do not. I did resent them both for years. But as I got older I have learned it is easier to forgive. If you hold resentment you hurt yourself. Holding resentment only makes you bitter and old before your time.

Answer 9

I guess they still believe what ever they did they did what was best for me. I dont bring it up but i dont agree with them when they say stuff.

Answer 10

i think what is in the pass you should leave it in the pass because things like that will not help your situation. always look forward never back this will help you progress in life.