My toddler calls herself mummy!!?

Question

My daughter is about 16 months and is quite a character. If I ask her where mummy is, she initially points to herself. Eventually after a few corrections she would point to me. SHe points to her daddy when asked where daddy is, why does she point to herself when asked where mummy is?

She has been doing it since she was about 10 months, maybe earlier.

I am not worried or anything, just curious.

Hi Dave_h4. I stopped breastfeeding her about 3 - 4 months ago but she is still doing it!!

Hi Thumper. No, she is able to differentiate between her aunts, uncles and cousins. She doesnt call all men daddy, just her daddy. And she doesnt call all women mummy, just herself lololol

Hi mommyg. Yes i spend all day every day with her. She hears her dad call me mummy when he is at home though. And she knows her own name too - if i ask her where is Adelphie (thats her name) she points to herself too. So she thinks she is both mummy and Adelphie

Hi Mandy S - yes i thought of that already. When I correct her these days i use her hand to point to me, to show that I am mummy, so that she doesnt just copy me. It doesnt change a thing!!

Answer 1

One of the most complex concepts that very young children have to grasp is the sense of self or "I". Young children will often automatically refer to themselves in the third person until they are around two years old. Around that time they will suddenly understand the concept of "I" and will start to use the word in relation to themselves; this demonstrates the beginning of true understanding that they are separate individuals who are able to make wholly independent decisions about their own futures. This is normally accompanied by the introduction of the word "my" or "mine" and the start of temper tantrums around wanting to do what they want, when they want and not what suits you, becoming extremely possessive over toys, demanding things etc. It's not called the terrible twos for nothing! It is likely that your daughter has recognised you are both female and is drawing on the closeness of your relationship developed through breastfeeding to attempt to place herself with the context of her own identity, without having the ability to completely understand the concept of "I" or "me".

My daughter was pretty fluent in sign language by the time she was 16 months old (she had over 250 signs and could sign sentences) and she always referred to herself by her name (ie in the third person) or as "Baby" until she was about 22 months old when she signed "I" in the correct context for the first time. She is now 25 mo and has been saying "I", "my", "mine" for about a month - and I can tell you that once that starts, there's no stopping them! You'll probably look back one day in the not too distant future and fondly remember the days when your daughter didn't want to get into a row in a shop over something she wants that she had just decided was "Mine!"

Answer 2

Maybe she is associating mummy with female and identifiying her self as female too. Sounds weird but maybe true. Does she also call other women mummy? Maybe the reason she ids daddy right away is because she knows hes different. Does she ever refer to other men as a daddy? I thought this might be a good explaination that no one else had thought of.

Answer 3

shes growing up, in her head she thinks she is a big girl now and that means she has grown up to be as she sees it, a mummy- i.e you, she may well think you are a mummy too, or it may be she has "adopted" a small child or doll to transfer her feelings onto. It is very normal and almost all children/toddlers will do this for some time.

See when her next birthday comes up? you should have no problem for ideas on what to get her- anything which supports the dream she is living in- another doll. a childrens pram (for her baby) some dolls clothes...etc, etc, she'll be in her element! watch this space, your rearing a nurse there-

my neice who is 2 likes to line stuff up, join up jigsaws and build things, I think she wouldnt know what to do with a doll if her little life depended on it! guess thats yet to come for her(I do think she'll be a fab secretary though!)

kids are funny!

Answer 4

Is she serious, or is she playing with you when she points to herself. My niece will purposely get it wrong, and you can tell in her eyes that she's thinking it's funny.

Have you ever seen the movie Tarzan? When Tarzan and Jane meet, she tries to introduce herself and he gets confused. She says her name is Jane, and he says his name is Jane. She says "no, no, no, no! I'm Jane" and he repeats her. It isn't until she physically indicates that SHE is Jane and physically indicates that he is Tarzan that he gets it. It could be that when youv'e said, "Where's Mommy?" and she points to herself, she's imitating how you've corrected her, like if you point to yourself and say "No, I'm Mommy."

I have another niece who will be two in July, and my kids just adore her. They also get a little peeved with her over the Mommy word. When my sister tells her to "go hug Aunt Mandy", she comes to me, not to my other sister, my mom, husbands, cousins, anyone else. We know she knows my name, and can put me with the name. However, the child will call every adult "Mommy" when she's actually talking to them. Will ask her where her daddy is, and without hesitation, she'll point to my brother-in-law, and five minutes later she'll go to him going "Mommy! Wanna bite!" She does my husband and other brother-in-law, and my mom's boyfriend and my grandfather the same way.

Our theory on this, and possibly the same is going on with your daughter, is that "mommy" is more than just the name of the female parent, it's basically everything in their lives, so it can get confusing for them.

At 16 months, she's doing pretty good. :-) She'll get the hang of the proper handles for everyone before too long.

Answer 5

I would say that she is probably pretending to be you. My little girls are always playing at being mummy and daddy and will spend ages deciding between them who is mummy and who is daddy. If I mistakenly call one of them by their actual name I am usually quite crossly told that they are mummy!

Answer 6

Hehe sounds like shes being a "pest" does she get attention for doing it? Maybe she's learnt its a joke now and that she gets attention for it...if you're not feeling negative about it I wouldnt worry! As long as you guys refer to her by name and refer to yourself as mummy than she may grow out of it!

She soudns a lovely girl :)
PS: My cousin called my mum (her aunty) mummy for ages, if we said wheres mummy she'd point to her mum and if we said wheres aunty she'd point to MY mum but she just kept caling her mummy and her mum, mummy! Children are funny!

Answer 7

i became right into a exceedingly linked parent besides. i think i'm uncertain a thank you to respond to this because of the fact she became into fairly clingy the 1st 365 days or so of her life. Now she is amazingly nicely-adjusted, social and self sufficient. while the babysitter comes, she actually pushes me out the door announcing "flow Mama!" She waves to all and sundry interior the mall, and leaves me to flow to nursery with out difficulty in besides. yet she nonetheless has a complicated time enjoying via herself-- she continually needs me in contact. maybe this is purely the age. Congrats for elevating an self sufficient little lady. isn't that the purpose besides?

Answer 8

Do you spend more time with her than her father does? She probably hears" Mummy " all day, rather than her actual name. "Daddy " is recognized because you probably only say it when he is present. Always say her name directly to her and she will start to say "Mummy" to you very soon!

Answer 9

I dunno maybe just kid thing. My friends son has just started talking, he has learning disabilities, but he's doing very well. He is also quite character. He says some funny things to. He calls his brother GG for some reason no one knows why. Last time I went to see him he kept calling me Nanny and he called my Mum Nanny to lol. I think he calls all older ladies Nanny, not sure why he called me Nanny as I'm 27 years old. Also when I called my cat, I just said "hello Lizzy" and he copied me, but he started calling all cats Lizzy, but he's doing well. Maybe she thinks all girls and women are called Mummy.

Answer 10

It's all a language thing. I'd quit asking and merely refer to your daughter by her name while letting others refer to you as "Mommy" / "Mom" / "Mummy" (if Egyptian) / or "Mother" (if formal.)