Is it rude to invite people who don't actually know the bride to her bridal shower? My best friend is getting married this year, and I've always talked alot about her at my work, my co-workers have seen her a few times, would it be rude to invite them, since they don't really know her?
2007-05-08 14:19:35 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I forgot to mention I'm her maid of honor, so i would be planning it, I think I gave the impression, that I was a guestand was going to invite additonal people to tag along
2007-05-08 14:38:29 · update #1
I know showers seem to have devolved into a gift-fest, where as many people as possible are invited and the bride's gift registries at Nordstrom and Neiman-Marcus are 62 pages long, but just because "everybody's doing it" doesn't mean it's tasteful or acceptable or, as your question implies, considerate.
Thank you, indeed, for being one of the considerate ones, one of those who actually pause to ask themselves, Should I be inviting ALL of these people?
Because no, you should not invite YOUR co-workers to your friend's shower. You can invite HER co-workers, HER cousins and friends and grandmothers and neighbors (who know her and care about her). You can invite the people you think she would invite to her wedding. THOSE are the people, we must presume, she wants to celebrate her day of joy with. Do you think YOUR co-workers are on that list? I doubt it. Unless the bride is a greedy b---ch and wants a katrillion gifts. And if she is, it's not your place to fulfill her greed. It's still your place to be fair to the people who are invited and invite only those who know AND care about the bride. Because you know that many people who are invited to a "do," whatever its purpose, feel obligated to go AND they feel obligated to bring a gift. A gift that won't make them look cheap and chintzy. And that's not fair to them. That, indeed, is "rude." And they'll resent you for putting them in that position.
I like the suggestion above that you simply come to work the next day with pictures and stories to tell. And maybe some leftover cake.
Thank you for letting me rant! And seriously, thank you for asking this question. You are a thoughtful person.
2007-05-08 14:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by katbyrd41 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not inviting people i don't know to my wedding, let alone my bridal shower (my sister asked me for a guest list). My rule of thumb is, if i don't really know you or haven't ever really spent time with you or talked to you (even if you're a distant relative), why should i invite you to be part of a special celebration? If i have not or wouldn't normally speak to, visit, or hang out with the person, i see no point in inviting them.
In response to your question, i'm not sure that it would be rude exactly, but it would be very awkward and possibly uncomfortable for the bride.
2007-05-08 17:22:54 · answer #2 · answered by katskradle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea. Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. If the bride isn't planning on having them at the wedding, you'll be putting her in a tough spot.
My shower hostess just did that same thing for my upcoming shower. We agreed on a shower guest list from the wedding invites list. Two weeks later, she sends me a list of people she invited. She ADDED THIRTY more ladies., including five who we didn't invite to the wedding! Luckily, we hadn't sent out the wedding invites yet, and were able to add them. My hostess caused us to expand our wedding guest list (and budget) quite a bit.
You're probably thinking that having more ladies would be nice for your friends shower, but you might be causing her some trouble and money.
2007-05-08 18:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by TandJ090807 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were invited to someone's shower and I didn't know her, I sure wouldn't go! That is ridiculous.
Invite only friends of the bride---not your friends or co-workers.
2007-05-09 00:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not rude, but weird. if they aren't invited to the wedding then why invite them? the bride may find it unusual to be around people she doesn't really know. bridal showers should be kept to personal friends and family. the bachorlette party may be reserved for girls she doesn't know very well.
2007-05-08 14:27:34 · answer #5 · answered by SASAUN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That depends on if the invite that was extended to you included bringing a guest, which any good bride would specifically outline. Why don't you ask the bride if she would mind since it's her affair? I'm sure she'd rather you ask then not, & I'm sure it won't be that big of a deal. But don't assume anything.
2007-05-08 14:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by Smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's her party. She's the guest of honor and everyone there should know her and also be invited to the wedding. The only exception is if they're a friend of her mother's which happens often.
2007-05-08 15:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Marianne D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only if the bride is ok with your friends coming. if you invite OTHER people to HER bridal shower who she DIDN'T invite, and had no clue that they were coming, then yes it would be rude.
2007-05-08 14:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by Smile :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be if it is someone that you are not authorized to invite. It really should be a gathering of the brides close friends and family, it isn't your party..
2007-05-08 14:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely don't invite your coworkers to your friend's shower even if you are the MOH. They aren't going to be invited to the wedding, so they don't get invited to the shower. No one gets invited to shower that isn't invited to the wedding.
2007-05-08 17:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋