Affair With A Married Man and my Best Friends new husband!!!?

Question

I know you all just read the header and are thinking this girl is mad, yes i feel the same way. I have been through alot of dramas in the last few years, I have been separated for 2 years from my abusive ex who is the father of my child. One of my best friends husband has just started to come onto me after not being interested at all for 10 years of knowing him. I am confused and lonely and feel so desperate for attention at the moment and he is giving me exactly what I am craving, but he is married to my best friend and he is also best friends with my ex. I still love my ex but he is just being very cold towards me and I have never felt so insecure and needy of attention, have never been unfaithful to anyone before so this is not exactly in my character to behave in such an irrational way. I don't know how to get out of it, I am a very passive person and get myself into trouble all the time cause i dont feel comfortable saying no...i feel so stupid, please help

Answer 1

Bank with your Character and get away from this mess. Your friend's husband is clearly taking advantage of your needs- - attention, care, love.

Find this need to other man you deserved, but definitely, not to this husband of your best friend. Sooner, she will discover your illicit affair....that will be disastrous!

There is only one saving grace to redeem you . your character, It lets you discern you're wrong, as I find relief reading your letter. So what are you waiting for, lady of substance?

Answer 2

Ok, so you are separated but not divorced after 2 years, or were you not married & just dating the ex? Just curious.

As for the married man & the best friend. What are you nuts?! If this is really a best friend's husband you'd be disgusted with him even showing an interest. Ever think he's only showing one now because they might be having problems & you just happen to be the nearest warm hole? Don't think about the ex factor, he's not the one you are being unfaithful to if you do this, it's the best friend you'll be injuring. As for him being friends with the ex, that's just worse cause he might tell the ex if you do this, & then they'll both have the power over you to tell the friend. Ever think of that?

PS-You need to just ditch the ex for good.

Answer 3

Well, first of all, your not stupid. Maybe confused and naive. But you should tell your best friend about her husband. There is no telling how many other people he's coming on to.You also need to let him know his advances are no longer welcome.

I agree he may be taking advantage of you given your situation. If your ex was abusive, don't go back to him. If he abused you once its likely it will happen again.

Though you feel lonely and desperate, thats no excuse to mess around with your best friend's husband or even put yourself in a position to let that happen.

Join a singles ministry at church, go to the mall, or something to meet new guys.

Answer 4

ok. your best friend's ex, boyfriend and husband is always a no, no. since you can't say no, I think a lot of your drama was caused by you. you also need to let go of your ex especially since he is abusive and there is a child involved. seek a professional to help with your emotional state and i also recommend you tell your best friend about her husband. I think she should know the type of man she is married to. if he hit on you, you may not have been his first. and just spend some alone time with your child. take a vacation or something to get away from the drama. the time away can help clear your mind.

Answer 5

i dont feel comfortable saying no either but when it comes to that i would. she is your best friend how can you do that? i uderstand you needy for attention so maybe you should go out to clubs, get nice and dressed up go dancing or to a bar, but dont sleep with a married man, what if your best friend did that to you, you would expect her to be able to say no in a heart beat and then tell you so you would know. find a man at a club, im sure you can get alot of attention there. and find ONE man to talk to, get his number and go on some dates with him. im sure he will give you attention you dont have to get it from a married man! whats done is done, you can try and fix things. make it right, but you could get hurt. so if his wife already knows then be done with him. find someone that will pay attention to you and only you. do you always want to be known as the other women, or his sideline sorry to say but hoe, or booty call? hes sleeping with you but sharing something really special with his wife. doesnt that make you feel the least but low? im sure you didnt mean it like that so now just be done with that guy. dont think of the past think forward. go get a good man for you. and let that be that. good luck!

Answer 6

If this person is indeed your best friend, then you need to tell her what her husband is doing, because if he will do this to her best friend, imagine him with somone else. Yes, the attention you are getting from him is very nice, because you are craving attention, but don't do this... not like this. You need to get some help, and find you a man that can treat you the way you need to be treated. Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

Make new friends and start living your own life. An affair with a married person is never a good thing. Especially if you have a child involved. Get out and do things with new people. Do new things. Eventually you will find someone who loves and deserves you and will treat you the way you deserve.

Answer 8

It sounds like you have been through a lot and although this may be temping PLEASE dont go there. This is why..When you friend finds out and she will you will have no one. This is the ultimate betrayal of friendship. Her husband is really low to come on to you and do this to his wife and also your ex (his so called best friend). I think he may be doing this to piss your ex off since he has never come onto you before. Find a man that is separate from all this and not married. You dont sound like you need more complications in your life and do you really want to lose a friend over him?

Answer 9

Girl don't lower your standard :) God loves you and know that your lonely. Try hanging out with ladies for a change. Go treat yourself to a spa. Don't go for this married man, what it make the matter worst is your best friend's hubby yikes!!! look at it this way... How would you feel if the table's been turned and your the one who's on the other end? Look up instead and pray to God to ease the pain. Don't put your self through mud that you will hate sooner or later. It ain't worth it. I'll be praying for you.

Answer 10

It's good you're aware of how insecure and vulnerable you are. Don't ruin your friends life and your own by making a major mistake with her husband. It's tough not having someone to be physical with at a time when you crave intimacy. Just try to mentally seperate your body's physical needs from your emotional ones. Surround yourself with people who support you emotionally and do whatever you need to to see that your physical needs are met without endangering yourself or your relationships. This period in your life will pass, just don't let it give you life-long regrets as you get through it. Good luck & God Bless You

Answer 11

this is a good time in your life to learn to be alone. Distance yourself from both of these men. Try to see your best friend only when her husband is not around. You don't want to do anything to ruin your friendship with her. You are going to need friends to get you through the next few months because you are probably going to continue to feel lonely until you heal.