How do you achieve a fair work balance between mom and dad when raising a family?

Answer 1

Moms and dads tend to focus too much on what the other should be doing around the house- and isn't. But while we can't change each other, we can change ourselves. I've found that when I nag my husband to do more, he doesn't respond well. In fact, he doesn't respond at all! But when I try to find ways to make his life easier, he generally returns the favor- and we're both happy.

Answer 2

This is a really important question if you want to raise stable, secure children.

I used to run a Day Care Center for a private school/ I realized that there were a lot of children very insecure....with working parents or not. What made a stable and secure child was not whether the parents worked, or not. It was whether the child knew that he/she came first over job or anything else.

If the child knew that if they had a problem, Mom (or Dad) would be there no matter what, then they felt totally secure...never challenged the rules, were perfectly happy while Mom and Dad were working....because they knew they came first!

I think the balance has to be that one person is home more with the children, job or not....that person is more the one who disciplines, is there for them...and has a job they can "work in" with taking care of the kids....and the other parent has to be a total support....one in agreement, so the child knows they are a "team"...will support each other, etc.

A father has to be the leader of the home....even if he works long hours....and has to have time available with his kids....maybe it's on the weekends....some time has to be the children's and the family's.....They have to know that Dad wants to know how and what they are doing...and that he works with Mom as a team.

I don't think two parents can have 60 hour a week jobs and raise their children well. Someone else will be raising them instead!

Answer 3

Hey there. Are you kidding. You will never achieve a fair work balance between mom and dad when raising a child. If you ask me why I say this it's simply this. We as women are counted upon to be super everything.
Let me share with you what I have learned about relationships.
Most men like to be fathers, NONE like smelly diapers. Don't expect much help there.
Most men think that picking up thier coffee cup means they've shared in the housework.
When a man "Works" he's providing for his family. When His Wife "Works " she's getting out of the house for a while.
A woman will cook and call her husband in for dinner. A man will call in a pizza and call it " cooking dinner."
A woman will manage running a home, running the kids everywhere, manage an office for some other man, for half that man's salary, keep the home in tip-top shape, in case friends drop by, and still put on sexy attire for her man. A man will loose your kids while running errands because he is too stubborn to admit that he has made a wrong turn at the soccer field, he might manage to take his socks out from under the couch and put them in the clothes hamper just before company comes, but if he smokes he'll never manage to remember to empty the ash tray. Oh, and last but not least, when you have put in a full days work, and slip into that sexy " ATTIRE "...don't be surprised when he tells you... he's so tired...he just want's to " RETIRE " to the bedroom for a little rest watching tv. So much for " I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, never, let you forget you're a man, cause I'm a woman...W-O-M-A-N.
It's a nice thought that some men really do pull thier fair share out there with work and family life, and I commend them, but I just thought you might enjoy a new perspective on this subject.
Hope you enjoy a little light humor...after all you do.....you deserve to smile for a while.
Women are really an exceptional being. I never knew till I had a child of my own just how many things I was capable of doing. Then when I became a single mom I was even more amazed.

Answer 4

There's no cut-and-dried answer to this question. Kids take up A LOT of time and energy, and they don't go away...well, not for 18 years, give or take.
A lot of times we have a lot of left-over mentality from the 50s when women would stay home and cook and clean and then men would work all day. Now that both are working it seems that the home life hasn't changed and the men still expect the woman to cook, clean, and take care of the kids while holding down a full-time job to help pay the bills.
I would say the best thing to do would be to rationally talk about it and find a compromise. If one of you doesn't mind doing dishes so much, but the other doesn't mind doing laundry then split it up so that you know who is supposed to be doing what. Then it's not a shocker when you both come home and the house looks like a train-wreck. You can say "that's mine, I was supposed to fix that, but that's yours, you were supposed to do that" and it doesn't end up a "why don't you do anything around here" yelling match. And make the kids do some of it. When I was coming along, every Saturday there were chores before we went out to play. Whether it was washing the car or vacuuming the house or cleaning the bathrooms.

Answer 5

A fair work balance can be achieved by communicating with each other. I know there are chores that we hate doing; but if something needs to be done and you realized that, if you are not busy doing anything else, you should do it. You have to help each other around the house, then the chores will be done quicker and you will have more time to spend with each other. Sometimes one can give the other a day where they do not have to lift a finger, it is a nice thing to do. Don't forget "Mom and Dad" we love each other, we are on the same team, we should have the same goal, "raise a great family"

Answer 6

Best way to achieve a fair work balance between mom and dad when raising a family is planning wisely. Having family meetings have helped me. During these family meetings we sit down together and come up with the plan for the week. For example, the menu, personal responsibilities are assigned for jobs around the house, basically, communication about things in general.

Answer 7

This is a hard question to answer because you leave out all the facts. If you both work, you both should share the work at home between the two of you. If you have children, the same applies. You must talk to each other about these things and you will run into trouble anyway because you did not make plans before you started your marriage (or your relationship) talk to each other, it is the only way to get a fair balance in any relationship, and the only way to get to even know the person you are living with.

Answer 8

Nothing gets done without a plan.
A work plan for important household work should be worked out between all the family members (unless your children are very young and cannot participate - I started my kids doing small chores when they were 2). Household work is not just for mom and dad.
Divide the daily work only. Don't try to plan for every chore that will ever need doing.
Try to divide things by time of day rather than by task. I do not think it works for a couple to say : You do dishes. I do the vacuuming. (Hey! dishes need to be done several times a day!)
For example, if it is 5:30 pm on a Tuesday and dinner needs to be made. The plan has to take into consideration: who is home at that time? What else is going on at that time? Which person is most able to prepare a meal? How can the spouse help? What preparation can be done ahead of time to make the chore easier?
Plans need to be creative and flexible. It needs to fit the family. If something about the plan is not working, fix it - don't throw the plan out and start again, just address the part that is not working. Adjust it so that it fits.
When a family outgrows a plan, make changes! As the kids grow, add responsibility that is reasonable for their age.

Answer 9

Young Lady take some advice from an older woman. There is no fairness in a work balance when raising a family. What must be done has to be done no matter whos turn it is to do it.
A man that has to be nag at to do anything is a man that would rather sit on top of the house and do nothing as long as he doesnt have to hear his wifes mouth.
When raising a family its tuff expecially on the woman. It even gets worse when you have a male that his mother never taught him anything. Like cooking, washing clothes, picking up after his self. There is an old saying as a mother running a family should know, "Do what you can and let everything else wait till you can get to it, trust me no one is going to beat you to it.
Most women dont know what they are getting their selves into now days when deciding to have a family, work life, social life, just life in general.
Its a very tuff job and the rewards are far and in between. God Bless You!

Answer 10

Fair is a matter of opinion. You can try to sit down and say ok, we have to do this, this and this everyday- what are you best at and what am I best at? It is probablly never going to be split down the middle- you can try but it will most likely get petty, so just try to focus on what each person's strengths are. I don't mind feeding or bathing the baby - my husband gets frustrated feeding and he hates to bend over the tub so I usually do it. He is GREAT with getting the little bugger to bed, while I have a hard time - so I usually do the feeding and bathing and he does bed. Wash, cleaning etc gets done by both as we go through the night. It is fair when you don't feel cheated. If you get to talk on the phone for an hour while he chases the kids - he's gonna feel like he did the work and you didn't. If he gets to watch the game while you feed and bath and put the kids to bed, you're gonna feel the same. Just try and divy out the work and if one feels overwhelmed or overworked, talk about it.

Answer 11

If you are referring to an equal role of parenting between mom and dad, I think I have yet to see an standard ways by which to achieve a fair work balance between husband and wife parental roles. It`s hard to determine or make a uniform set of standards on this issue, because different individual families has its own domestic governance. There are many factors that varies to each an every family ways to consider, but what must be considered in every responsible parenthood to at least nearly achieve a fair work balance among and between them, is a good communication and understanding.