please help me!!! EMERGENCY!!!?

Question

I am a 19 year old sophomore in college with two younger sisters age's 13 & 15! I got a phone call about 4 days ago saying my mother suffered from a massive stroke and was being rushed to the emergency room. I was unable to come home until today because of my final exam's at school. When i got home I now discovered that my mother only has a week to live!

I'm sitting here in shock...she's been sick for a long time but nobody expected this! My parents are divorced and the last time I've had actual contact with my father was when i was 13!

They got a divorce for no more of a reason then they just could not get along. I know my father loved us I know he did...

My mother has put on her will that she wants me to support my two sisters and take care of them and given me legal custody of them!

i can't do this!!! I'm STILL in school my mom cannot leave she can't she can't!! WHAT DO I DO?? SHOULD I CONTACT MY FATHER!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!

I don't know ANYTHING about supporting a family or money or ANYTHING!! I can't do this i honestly can't and i can't go to school 6 hours away as well it's impossible and i can't transfer but I don't want to hurt my sisters i can see they are hurting terribly

Answer 1

your going on as if she is dead already why dont you just buy her a wreath and be done with her dork

Answer 2

This is indeed a terrible situation. I wish I could do more to help you than type a reply.

First, yes, call your Dad and ask for his advice and assistance. I hope he's a decent person and will help you.

Second, you may need to take a year or so off from school. People say that "if you drop out you'll never go back," but that's just not true. I dropped out twice as an undergrad, and now I have an MA and a successful teaching career.

Third, you might consider transferring your credits to a college closer to home when you do get back.

Fourth, see a doctor. Print out your post (with all the replies), show it to him or her, and ask for a low-dose prescription for Xanax or something similar. If you've never taken it before, 0.25 mg per day might be enough. You're under a tremendous amount of stress right now, and there's no shame in taking pills to help you cope. Also, a dose this low does not run the risk of addiction, if you're worried about that.

My condolences on your mother's condition. Feel free to add me as a contact and e-mail if you want further advice.

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear about the situation with your mother and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I understand that you are young and that all of this being sprung on you is a big reality check. My opinion is mixed. I feel that you are now an adult and that your sisters are not babies and it is a situation that can happen as long as some effort and love are put in. Also your dad must help you because it is morally right. Contact your dad and tell him that you need his help, and please never say that you can't because if you really believe that then you really can't. I really wish that you would open up your mind all it takes is a little more work, but in the end it will all pay off because you will be blessed with this experience. They are your sisters and they will help you. Always approach everything with love and seek help from a family member, but follow your mothers wish and you become the head of your household. If you have a house maybe get something smaller and save the money. Resources are available everywhere use them. I am sure you are a smart girl and we all have milestones in our lives that make us Grow up! Good luck and my prayers are with you and your family. And as the saying goes "Si Se Puede" yes you can. Trust me many girls have done it and far younger than you and I. (I'm 22)

Answer 4

Call the hospital, explain the situation, and ask to be put in touch with their chaplain or social worker. Every hospital has someone who can help you work out the difficult life problems caused by the unexpected death of a patient.

You should also contact your father as soon as possible. Even if your parents are divorced and you are a legal adult, he still has a responsibility to the minor children, and he should, at the very least, give you some financial or emotional support during this terrible time and transition.

You don't have to decide anything right away. Consider taking a semester off from school while you work out what is best for your family. Talk with your department head or the registrar's office to see if you can stay enrolled in the school but skip the next semester. They will probably be very understanding of your situation and be willing to work with you. The important thing is to ask for help, keep your options open, and not make any permanent decisions yet.

At worst, you'll have to drop out of school, get a job, and support your younger siblings. Or, they may be given to foster care or adoption, and you'll have to support yourself and see them as much as you can. Hopefully, your father will raise them, and you'll be able to continue your education.

It's okay to freak out, your life sucks right now... but don't stay freaked out. There is help, and you can do this.

Answer 5

You need to contact your dad. He has a right to know what is going on. Your mom and he had one thing in common, you kids.

I'm sure your dad loves you and your sisters very much. An absent parent never stops thinking about his children. Sometimes they even blame themselves for not being there for you.

Give you dad a chance to help you. Give him time to take it all in. Don't be surprised if he doesn't react the way you expect. He may be in just as much shock as you are about your mom.

Usually families pull together at times like these. Give your family a chance to help you. Give your dad a chance to help you, even if he doesn't help at first.

We are never prepared, no matter how long someone has been sick. We always hope for the best, even if we expect the worst.

Pray for guidance, listen to any advice given, and weigh your options. You and your sisters will get through this.

If you mother is able, ask for her advice. Ask her who she trusts. Tell her you love her and you will do your best to follow her wishes. However, even if your mother tells you not to call your dad, call him. You will never regret calling him while she is still with you. You may regret not giving him a chance to say good-by.

Things will be tough and life will never be the same. But, you can make it better if you keep your mother in you heart and remember her love. She will always be with you.

Remember there is a whole side of your family you have not been in contact with that love you from afar. Give them a chance to come into your lives. They can be comforting.

Make sure you stay in school and graduate. It may mean the difference between being able to take care of your sisters and yourself in the future. Your mother would want that.

Lastly, don't blame or beat yourself up for the things you can't do.Give yourself credit for the things you can. And, be wise enough to know the difference. Above all, love and comfort each other. You will be family for the rest of your lives.

Answer 6

Of course you should contact your father.
He will probably welcome the opportunity to be a hero and save the day.
Men are like that.
Furthermore, if no one contact him, the police would put your sisters in some foster care till he is found.
That could be OK, but... well, I am sure everyone has heard of some less than desirable outcomes to strangers taking care of teenage girls...

If you do not find your father, contact a grandparent.

If that does not work, contact some of the churches in town. They positively live for the day they can do something good and useful. They will fall over themselves backwards to help you, whether or not you are a believer.

If you go to a good church, the pastor could even lay hands on your mother and heal her, so the problem might be solved.

Answer 7

First off you need to take a big breath. This is hard. Contact other family members if you are uncomfortable contacting your father. PErhaps an Aunt, Uncle or grandparent that you are close with. I'm sure you have friends. I'm sure they have parents who would be willing to advise you. Now wehn you approach these people you want their advise and probably some help, you don't want them to direct your WHOLE life (this may happen and can cause many issues). Don't quit school! you need that education to help yourself and your sisters in the future! Do get a part time job, this will help pay bills and give you something to work with. Don't overwork yourself though! Your sisters are old enough they can help around the house. They need to take on some responsibilities as well. Your 15 yo sister can start babysitting kids, your 13 yo syster can probably help in some way. I'm sure your family around you will want to help. I wouldn't count on dad if you havn't seen him in 6 years or more. Find out if he was paying any child care fees to your mom or not. Don't let those slip! Those can be a big help for you and your sisters for important things like food, bills and clothing.

I feel for you. You have something hard ahead of you. If you get too overwhelmed step back for a moment and sort it out. Look at the big picture. Getting stressed and or overwhelmed is going to make it too hard on you and you won't be able to get things done on time. Make schedules to help organize. Good luck. Contact me if you want suggestions, but start with family first. Try your father, but don't count on it.

Answer 8

i'm so, so sorry to hear about the excruciatingly difficult time you are having. i can not imagine what you are going through. definitely contact your father. you will also hopefully have the support of other family members. the unfortunate reality is that your mother is not going to be around, and that is devastating. you need your father, you need your grandparents or aunts and uncles. they will help you through this, and advise you on what to do.
as far as money goes, hopefully your mother has some sort of policy that will help you. you may also need to consider selling your home, and using the money from the sale to find a place near your school for you and your sisters. you will also need to pay off any outstanding bills your mother may have, such as credit card, cell phone, cable, etc. as the eldest in your family, the responsibilities fall on you, but you will need help. i really, really hope that you contact your father and have support of other family members. there will be hospital bills and funeral expenses.
remember this through all of it: your mother loves you, she loves you so much, and she wouldn't have it in her will that you will take care of your sisters if she didn't think you had the strength or ability to do it. you can do it.
best wishes to you, i'm so terribly sorry...

Answer 9

First of all, I am very sorry to hear about your mother and I couldn't even imagine going through what you are right now... Right now I think the best thing for you to do is to keep your sisters in school, and get ahold of ANY relatives that you know of to help out with your situation. Stay in school, and have your sisters live with a relative nearby so they can still attend school and when summer comes and your all done school, figure out what you are going to do about all of this... The first thing that you need to do, and the most important thing right now is concentrate on your mother and spending as much time as you can with her. Second, you need to get help and support from everyone you know. I know that if this was my situation my family would be right there beside me because we are all very close. About your father though, If you really believe that he would be there for you and your sisters, and that he would deeply care and try to support you to the best of his ability, then I would call him. You need SUPPORT... and I hope that everything turns out ok for you and your family.

Answer 10

First, sorry about your mom I know how it is to see someone you care about getting sick and there is nothing you can do. Honey do you have any other family besides your dad like aunts, and uncles. You may need to contact your dad for help I mean you guys are his kids. Your mom may have his phone number or address written down somewhere, if not look him up on the Internet in whitepages.com or something. Its obvious that you are still a kid yourself and not really ready for all of the responsibility and a lot of people would if they were in your shoes. You have to calm down and talk to your dad and hopefully he is ready to step up to the plate and take care of his children. No offense. You need help baby girl and I hope you get it. That would be tough and even though your mother is sick it is better you find family or be separated by Family and Children Services. Good Luck honey I will be praying for you.

Answer 11

Babe, relax, so you can think clearly.
First, think of the options you have, can you move schools? Can your father help out?
Do you have someone you can trust to teach you things you'll need to know , maybe keep the girls with an aunt and give her a monthly allowance to take care of thing?
There must be a way where you are all happy.
As for your father, if he really loves you then why haven't he contacted you? has he sent you birthday cards?
Babe I know you are young but be careful. Think clearly and not emotionally. Think outside the box.
Talk to people you trust and tell them how you feel, dont forget to include your sisters too, they need to know where and how they
ll end up.
Good Luck and God Bless