that got posponed due to unexpected cercumstances till 5/12/07 and yesterday i was told we can't get married again. but this time no other date he says his credit cards are maxed out. But a week ago when i asked him he said yes, so i asked for that day off at work, my boss & family think i am getting married. i feel embarressed and played. we live together for 11 months & i faithfully waited for him when he deployed to iraq. Why does he set dates and last minute back down, He gets on the defensive side when i ask him, he says we will marry, i just have to wait.... someone give me good advice, i love him with all my heart & soul...
2007-05-08 10:13:48 · 5 answers · asked by boriquacj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It sounds like he is nervous really. And he may be too embarrassed to say that he just isn't ready to get married right now. September really isn't that long of an engagement stretch but the biggest thing I want to share is this. If he got back from Iraq over the last year he probably has a lot of things he needs to work out and resolve before he settles down and raises a family with you. Sit down and think about what is you are most upset about. Is it that you are really ready to get married or are you really ready to marry him? Marrying him could entail some things you haven't considered especially regarding his combat experience.
2007-05-08 11:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Indy (your first answer). It does sound like he is nervous. How are you getting married? It sounds as though you are going the civil ceremony way, since you are being notified with short notices....That does not matter really, just that the civil service might be easier for him, if you haven't thought of that.
At some point though, I think there is going to need to be a sit down heart felt talk about what he wants to have happen. I had a rough relationship of four years - I say it was rough because I was promised time and time again for four years, and then over a summer he decided he did not believe in marriage. So we broke up....that is something I could have known from day 1, which is why I say at some point you will need to sit down with him and see what he really wants.
I would just let him know that when he is ready, you would like to talk about it. Give him a week or two after letting him know you want to talk, but you want to give him some time as well. Maybe the two of you could write out what you see your future being and compare notes. Some guys would not be willing or able to do this, but it is always worth a try. You already know what YOU want, but you need to find out what HE wants.....
Good Luck! I hope this helps somewhat, and that everything works out successfully for you!!
2007-05-08 15:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he want to get married? You are already living together. I wish women would learn that this doesn't always work! Sorry.
2007-05-09 00:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to get married. Tell him you're leaving and see what happens
2007-05-08 16:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him when he gets back !!
2007-05-08 13:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by Emily F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋