How do I stop my 19 month old daughter from throwing a tantrum?

Question

My daughter just starts screaming and screaming for no reason. She won't stop no matter what I do, I have tried to hold her, play with her, food, toys, milk, juice, outside, ignoring her, telling her no... everything... nothing works... any ideas?

I have tried timeouts. She enjoys them and they don't work. Spanking her just makes it worse. Like I have said... I have tried everything. I don't know what to do to make her stop. She throws herself on the floor, bangs her head into whatever is closest to her... floor, wall, door, people... whatever.

There are a lot of good answers but here is the thing... she starts the tantrums... whenever, for no reason. I ignore her the best I can but she screams for 20-40 minutes, it drives both me and my husband insane. She used to be the most calm, collected and angelic child you could ever meet. The tantrums aren't a reaction to anything, she isn't hurt and when I give her attention she doesn't want it.

I have left her in a safe room and she still manages to bang into stuff. I have left the room, she just get louder and cries harder. I have tried everything and I mean everything and if I can't find a solution soon I am going to have to talk to my doctor. Nothing is wrong with her, no fever, not hungry or thirsty etc. I don't think my husband would like it if I dumped a glass of water on her though lol. I have to say thank you all for your wonderful answers and I am sorry if this is a bit difficult. She has always been such an angel from day one, usually not a sound, no crying etc. Now sometimes she just won't quit. When I tell her 'no' and she throws a tantrum I do just leave her to it but I don't know what to do about her just doing it... I know it isn't for attention because she has plenty of that.....

Answer 1

I know this sounds kinda funny BUT
Throw the fit with her if she rolls around on the floor and screams do it to!

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old they are both boys
I got this advice from a family friend
IT WORKS!!!!

She will quit doing it and and watch you do it!!


Hope this helps!

Answer 2

I work in daycare and I have found the best way to cure the tantrums is to simply ignore it. Make sure your child is somewhere were she cannot harm herself or anything else and then leave her to throw the tantrum. There is no reasoning with a child who is having a full blown tantrum, so trying to do this usually prolongs the length of the tantrum. If you start ignoring her and walking away whild she is throwning tantrums, I guaruntee the tantrums will be less and less frequent until they have stopped all together.

I know it can be hard to just leave your little one while she is screaming, but if you are consistent with it, it will definitely work.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Unfortunatly, some children at this age do throw tantrums. It can feel really embarassing. However, the best way to deal with it is to Ignore her... (depending on the situation e.g: as long as she is in a safe place, etc.) a lot of the time this is pent up energy, if you try to play with her, etc, it just gives her more attention. If you feel that her tantrum is a form of manipulation, (she wanted something and you did not give it to her so she threw a tantrum, etc) than ignore her. IF she is genuanly upset about something than confort her.

The best way to ignore a child who is throwing a tantrum as a form of manipulation is to ... leave the room (If possible) as long as she is safe, and you can still keep an eye on her etc. eventually this too shall pass goodluck!

Answer 4

Well, if nothing appears to be the matter, the primary goal is to keep her from hurting herself while she cries it out. Put her in time-out in a playpen and leave the room. You won't be able to find out what the problem is while she's hysterical, so wait until she's calm again before trying to talk to her. Don't think of the time-out as a punishment, but as a necessary step to achieving a state where you can solve the problem (or she can cope with it).

Also, talk to her doctor about this. Make sure nothing's wrong with her phsyicaly, and if that's so, you just have to steel yourselves and wait it out. Toddlers are very emotional, and you don't want to fuel the fire, but help her learn some self-control.

Answer 5

My mother had that problem with me at about the same time in my life, I threw violent tantrums all the time. She used to lock me in my room and I would literally tear the mattress and boxsprings off my bed. She had great results with taking all sugar out of my diet, which the doctor suggested she try. It didn't work right away, of course, but after a few months my tantrums calmed down, and there are some adorable pictures of my second birthday party where we all ate watermelon and were just as happy as we would have been with cake.
Eventually she was able to gradually reintroduce sugar into my diet.

Answer 6

At 19 months, you can't just ignore her while she throws a fit, you have to restrain her. Do not hurt her, but do take away her freedom by restraining her and keeping her safe. I find that gravity helps, especially when you restrain her with you on top and her back to the ground. God built parents larger for a reason. Do this EVERY TIME she throws a tantrum, even in public. Kiss her and love her, show no anger but do show understanding and empathy. You are teaching her control by showing her control, so never lose your temper. You'd be amazed at how fast her behavior changes.

She may fight and try to bite you or hit you. I recommend using holding her arms down with your arms, and sitting on her stomach area. If she learns to kick, extend your sitting position lower to almost lying on her. If she spits, put your body over her face so the spit just ends up on her face. You have to be patient to ride out each storm.

Answer 7

Stop paying attention to her during the tantrum. What she seeks is a menas to control you and by getting worried, she's acheving it. Stay firm, deny what you must and let her have her tantrum, she's not going to hurt herself. Of course you have to be contant, if you try all the things you said in your question, one after the other is not going to work, she has to know that tantrums don't work on you no matter how hard they are. And of course it's not going to work overnight, you have weeks and months to come of horrible and noisy tantrums. But just ingnore them.

Another teqnique is that you do a tnatrum yourself, do what she does as she's doing it so that se realizes how she looks. It worked for me.

Answer 8

There is an amazing program called 1-2-3 magic. It truly is magic! We took the course when our oldest was almost 3 and was out of control. We have since used it with our other two and start right at birth almost.

You can often attend classes through your local health unit or get the book at a chapters or indigo. I would even check ebay!

Hope that this helps!

Answer 9

Have her spend quite some time with different youngsters her age or extremely older that have already got stable speech features. My daughter spent 2 days each and every week in daycare and it helped, yet she made great advancements whilst she began spending time around our neighbours 4 365 days previous. some thing approximately peer interplay as against grownup interplay seems to make the version in youngsters. My daughter is now 4 and her vocabulary and language skills are greater ideal than some adults i understand.

Answer 10

My son is 18 months and when he starts to throw a tantrum I walk away and he stops. Don't just sit there and ignore her because she knows you will get tired of it....you have to walk into another room.
My son has even tried to follow me and I just go the other way.