I just realized, at this moment, that I have so much hate inside of me. Why?

Question

I can't stand my father. He verbally abused me when I was a little girl, and it's so hard for me to have respect for him. I do treat him with respect, but I have so much contempt inside. And I think all my life I've been living with so much hatred for him, which transfered to every aspect of my life. In turn, I now hate myself for the things I am incapable of doing. I hate a lot of things about my life. How do I heal myself from this? Or, where do I even start?

Answer 1

Get counseling. If he was an alcoholic or drug addict go to alanon. I was married to someone who had both addictions and it was extremely helpful. Stay away from anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself.

Mary Blige (some black singer) said on Oprah, "I don't blame my parents for anything and I forgive them for everything." What she meant (and I'm sure she learned this in counseling) is that they treated her the same way they were treated as a child, so they did only what they knew. Sad, but true. We tend to do to our children exactly what they did to us, or the exact opposite, and neither one is good. That's why counseling is so good, it helps you see that everyone isn't your father and they aren't going to treat you the same way. Change yourself and you can change your destiny and the lives of your children when you have them. There's alot of hope. You can do it. I did it.

Answer 2

Ok. First off I'm not a psychologist so it's only what i think NOT expert advice. Don't worry about your father. You can't help the hatred that you feel for him. That's his fault. Now to get rid of the hatred I'd say take up an aggressive sport to channel it elsewhere. For example buy a punch bag or take up ice hockey which is apparently very aggressive. Try counting to 10 to channel the anger elsewhere and take up yoga. Yeah I know that it will probably be really boring (sorry if you're a yoga teacher or guru or whatever it is that they call them) but it might get you to not have so much hatred inside of you! good luck :D

Answer 3

I read from a book.
Parents you love to hate them and you hate to love them.
And you can never run away from them because they are your parents.

Parents are supposed to be on your side no matter what happen to you.
But there are some who dont and that leaves an emotional scar for the rest of your life.
The best advice is move on... get that anger out of you.
You are also self-awared that all your life you have been living with so much hatred for him that it has been transferred to every aspect of your life.

You have totally wasted your earlier life hating him.
Its time to move on.
Its definitely not easy healing from such an emotional scar but gradually you could.

You can start by moving out of the house away from him.
And live with the people that geninuely cares about you.
Being away from the abusive enviroment is a step to healing.

And when you got angry over something.
Just punch out your anger on a sandbag.
Let it out instead of keeping it in...

Answer 4

I really think you need to go into counciling. This can do wonders for you. It can help you forgive. Forgiving is the first step of taking your life back. Your father is still controlling you as long as you can't forgive him. You will never forget. You have the whole rest of your life. There are so many wonderful things out there waiting for you. Please get the help that you need. Then you can start living the life you always wanted for your self. Go pick up the phone and Call, Come on start living your life for you.

Answer 5

The only thing you can do, is discuss this with your Father and tell him just how you feel. Just getting it all out of you alone will do a world of good! You must express how you feel, and thats the only way you are ever going to get past these feelings bottled up inside of you. Once you have dealt with this, the rest of your life will also get better. If he cant understand how you feel, then thats not your fault! You at least must let him know the hurt you are feeling inside.

Answer 6

It's really hard to forgive a parent when they are supposed to be on your side, and not abuse you. So many things go through your mind,....why did they even have me? Why does he hate me? What did I do? and this is someone you look up too...I am so sorry for his behavior....Keep treating him with respect,...and try to forgive him...don't fight with him, don't say something that YOU will be sorry for later...especially if something happened to him...Pray to God, to forgive your dad,...and just ignore his hatred..and leave it to God to punish him...if that is what God wants for him...when you forgive, you are on your way to healing, believe me,...the Lord takes away that hurt, through Jesus,....and gives you the inside wisdom to carry on...God bless little one...

Answer 7

Try talking to somone you really trust. I always talk to my bff about thinkgs that i hate. It feels really good to get stuff like that out. also, even if you don't get any advice in return, it still helps cuz you talked to a trustworthy friend about it. Trust me, if you really do trust the person your talking to, then everything will just get better. You'll know that the peron wont spill your secrets, and youll also know that the person is listening cuz they care about you. Really, all i think you need is somone to talk to.

Answer 8

manufacturing hate is not good coz it will lead to depression as some kids in high school are going through right now. you should let go of the things that are letting you down. think about them and just observe, and eventually it'll go away and youll forget the set backs of your life.

Answer 9

well it seems like when u where little that ur father had been verbally abused 2 u but i dont know if u can heal ur self from this cuz its been there since u where little

Answer 10

You have already begun. You are aware of the problem. Try not to blame your parents for the things you are incapable of doing. Take responsibility for YOU, and no one can ever let you down again.